Anger / Stress, and how to deal with it.

For as long as I can remember little things irritate me. I have a terrible temper, and have been known to hit walls, and break things, but I am getting better with time.

I currently see a psychologist, who has no clue what to do, because I can't pinpoint the source of all my anger. I've been to stress busting classes, and had two different courses of art therapy. (whatever that is)
I have no idea what to do, I try calming myself down in situations where I feel threatened but it's just no use. I end up taking my anger out on something inanimate, and walking out of wherever I am.

The latest scenario? I was in an art lesson, and for 2 hours I was having negative comments thrown at me by my ex-ex girlfriend, who hates my guts, and her two friends. They could be joking around, I don't know. I can't tell. I lost my temper, and hit a table quite hard, damaging a nerve in my right hand. I walked out. Three events have happened similar to this in college, alone.

Sometimes I feel angry for no reason. My mother tells me it's because I am angry at my dad because he's a dick, and got me into alot of trouble with the police. Fair enough, I am angry about it, but I don't think about it (consciously) often, and can live life easily without him.

Is it because I do the same old shit every day, and have a severe lack of fun in my life? The psychologist suggested this to me. I don't know what I enjoy doing.

Other factors include being quiet at college, I rarely speak to anyone outside of my classes. I'd rather not.

I can't think of anything else to add really. Do you have problems controlling anger? If so, how do you deal with it.

Please avoid posting comments such as 'ignore them, they are dicks' or 'take a deep breath'. These are not helpful.

 

I have kinda the seam problem. When i get mad, i unleash my fury by hitting something as hard as i can and if that's just not enough i keep going at it. So plp at school know better than to piss me off because im known for my anger bursts. I suggest you try to calm down and get one of ur close friends to help you when they're near by. Most of my friends tell me to calm down and im just a sophomore in high school. So its kinda different when your at college.

 

Don't get confused with College as in, 18+.
College in the UK is 16-18.
I have no close friends at college that I can have a down to earth talk with. I'll hit something once, but not again usually because it hurts alot.

I wish I could calm down. What methods do you have to calm down despite talking to someone? Sometimes the words 'calm down' make it worse.

 

I have basically the same problem and used to flip out horribly mad all the time. Now its mostly better except I got pissed for the first time in a long time and beat someone and now I have to go explain myself to a committee who decides what punishment I get tomorrow...

Anyways.

The one thing that works the best for me is just walking away. If I start to get really mad, I just leave and go be by myself for awhile. After I flip, people talking to me just makes me mad even more so I just try to hide from everyone. After awhile I do find it very nice to be able to tell someone how I am feeling. It doesn't really matter who, just someone you trust to not spill everything you say to everyone. If you don't have anyone else, just tell your psychologist anything that you are feeling. I've always found it amazingly hard to tell people what I'm feeling however, but it does help so much when you can.

 

Thanks.
I get the feeling inside of me "Walk away, do I want to, or shall I put it off". I can never seem to walk away before I strike out at something. Perhaps I should walk out earlier.

I struggle with telling people how I feel, especially psychologists.
Thanks for your post.

 

You just need to start to leave before you get physical. I used to get pissed all the time and slowly I stopped beating people and started just cursing them out and running out. This isn't ideal, but it is much better than hurting yourself and being violent.

I never found talking to anyone easy at all but I've made massive progress there. I mainly got over this by forcing myself to talk to the girl I really liked like two years ago, so I can't really give you advice there, but try to say what you feel. I used to always just say, I don't know, but now in my most recent event I managed to talk a little bit to my school advisor, even though he got really pissed at me because he thought I was messing with him.

Just try to take small steps and win small victories for yourself. They add up.

 

I've PMd you.

 

Thanks man, that's some real nice stuff. I'll work on it <3

Good luck with the committee.

Enjoy the infraction.

 

Hmm you can try breathing techniques...they really helped me!

 

exercise all the way...

 

What he said.

 

Well, wat SuF said just try to walk away. And other methods are just breathing and walking away. Teachers know how i am so they try to keep out of my way when i look mad because i will lash out at one of them if im pissed off enough.

 

I don't know how much it's worth digging for the root of emotions - the best immediate solution is to just work out another way of dealing with them. There are worse things than breaking/hitting inanimate objects, but music is a common outlet.

 

God, I wish I was you to be honest. I have somewhat of the same problem, I think, but deal with it even worse. Some days, it seems my whole life is shit and all I do is swallow it inside. I surpress alot of anger instead of ranting it out.

In my opinion, you should take all your anger out on something every day if you really need to, find a physical sport such as Rugby (like I play) or Boxing. Get a punching bag, or a stress ball and just let out the day's frustration into that object. People who are outwardly angry too much, usually become physical to release endorphins (natural neurotoxin that numbs pain and give you an elated disposition). Endorphins are released through exercise, adrenaline, sex/masturbation, or pain. You should probably stimulate endorphin release a little more regularly and you'll see yourself punching walls less and less.

 

Try boxing, you get to fuck people up while releasing anger.

 

This used to happen to me a bit, I ended up playing fairly serious sport.

Even if you're not good at it, if there's something like a cross-country or swimming team at your school give it a go.

Obviously you're not bashing anything up, but I find that for an hour or so I can just completely take my mind off things and tire myself out to the point where things don't irritate me anymore.

 

I strongly suggest that you occupy yourself with other activities and just ignore the others. This may not seem like the advice you want to hear, but it works for me.

I'm usually in a very bad mood every single day due to racism and all, but I just joined the IT club and it's taking up a lot of my time and distracting me from my rage.

Join the track club. Find a hobby. Do what you've always wanted to do.

Don't pay any attention to those who jeer at you. They're just looking for a reaction. If they see you've got a reaction, they get motivated to do it again and again. Just ignore them and soon, they'll get bored with messing with you and find another poor guy to pick on.

Complaining to the dean of the college might help a bit, but I really don't suggest it as it can make things worse.

 

I despise hitting people. I never have hit someone hard in anger.

I don't enjoy sport, and i'm quite unfit. Swimming could be fun...

I want to get a punchbag to punch it out on. I don't get picked on, it's rarely I do, and if happens it normally ends up bad.

 

I have the same problem but with video games, when i die or loose i get real mad, once i ripped my shirt off. I also hit the wall or anything around me and now my middle finder is sprained..

dont know what to do..

 

Try getting laid