Hi.

I was dating a guy named Austin, we had been best friends for two years and we had dated for five months. Late February/Early March, he had gone to Texas to pick up a "friend" from high school (he's graduated). I was fine about him bringing a friend home to chill for a week or so, whatever. He was just meeting up with an old group of friends that he had went to school with so it was no big deal. Then a girl named Hannah came into the picture. My friend Nick was on Austin's Facebook one night and saw pictures with a girl and it said some stuff about Texas. Nick had asked me if the friend from Texas was a girl. Austin had actually called Hannah (the friend) a he and never bothered to mention a name at all. When she had gone home a week later, I asked him why he had lied to me and he just said that he didn't want me to get jealous or mad. I would have been fine, but the fact that he felt the need to keep such a thing from me just made it all feel worse than it should have. We got passed that, we would get passed anything bad that happened to us. Then Hannah needed a place to stay and Austin offered her a bed at his house without telling me. I had to find out else wise who it was etc. Again. By 8 March, Austin was back on his way to Texas to pick Hannah up to take her away from the such terrible and miserable housing situation that she was apparently in. Of course I was upset that a girl was moving in with my boyfriend. He said that she would be gone by May, that he was just helping her out. At first he was just genuinely depressed about not being able to get a job so he was busy a lot of the time. We would still talk, but he was always busy. We were used to talk every moment we were awake. When I was at school, we'd text. When I was home, we'd be Skyping or playing Xbox or just whatever we felt like doing at the time. March, April, and May pass and Hannah is still not gone. At the beginning of June, Austin had broken up with me. He said that I deserve better, that he didn't want me to wait around because he wasn't going to date anyone until he got his life together and that that could take years. He had always said he wouldn't date Hannah again (they dated really shortly in the beginning of his freshman year) even if he wasn't dating me. Guess what. He's dating Hannah as of two or three days ago. Austin didn't even give me the courtesy of telling me that he was dating the girl that virtually killed us. I found out online by a mutual friend. A fucking mutual friend, online. Is his life together in just 20 days? What happened to never dating Hannah again? Why does he get to decide that I deserve better than him but that she doesn't? He told me that I am the reason why he is even alive. That me just being there, even if he didn't come to me when he broke down all of the times, helped. That he loved me, but he didn't regret anything. I feel like all of this was a lie. That he started having a sort of emotional affair as soon as Hannah moved in. That I was nothing but a girl he wanted to play around with. I know that he loves me, though, and that he wouldn't want to hurt me. I still can't stop thinking negatives about our entire relationship, though.

I'm broken. I feel empty. It also makes me feel disgusting. Not disgusted -- disgusting. I feel worthless and unwanted. All I can think about is pills. I'm not sure exactly why I'm even typing this on Sythe but ok lol it's 5 am and I haven't slept for two days and omfg ok.

 

ill shoot you a guys opinion on this

he's probably always had some special shit going on with this hannah chick, she prob took his vcard or something so that's why it all happened. there was straight up nothing you could have done. You know that one person, that you'd just about give up anyone to be with them? yea that was his one person, i guarantee it. get the ice cream, relax, and cry girl. then get your girls together, and go be a hot mess at a bar somewhere and make some mistakes

just stay away from the pills. not sure why you'd even think of pills bruh.

 

Don't for a second think this is your fault. Don't contemplate pills or any type of harmful substance. You need to realize you're the stronger person, and that this "Austin" guy is kinda an asshole.

I'm a guy and here is how we think: Austin may have loved you for a bit there, guys aren't always after sex. Sounds like he was decent until Hannah showed up. I don't want to hurt you here, but I'm almost positive he had something with her for the start. Genuine "girl best friends" are virtually non-existent unless the guy is homosexual. Austin most likely moved his feelings toward someone who was more familiar with his situation. She had a bad home life, he had problems finding a job. He did you a favor by not dragging you too deep into his relationship with Hannah. However, I agree with him being a complete ass-bag for lying several times and being a snidely jerk. But hey, that's a guy for yah.

My advice would be to move on, it won't happen over night, but keep yourself busy. Hangout with friends, spend time with family, take an extra class or two to learn something cool like a new language. Just don't let Austin drag you down, and start to feel better about yourself

 

This is the reason why I don't wanna start a relationship with anyone.
I think you and Austin were in a long distance relationship? Such relationship is pretty hard to maintain. And I know how hard it is to suffer a break up, but hey girl, at least you got rid of someone who never loved you, ad he lost a person who truly loved him!

 

He's been with Hannah since the beginning, you should have realized this as soon as you caught him in the lie in the first place. He wouldn't have lied if he didn't think it'd make him look bad because honestly if they were just friends you'd already have known about Hannah since most couples talk about their friends to each other all the time. I'm just gonna rip the duct tape off your lips and come out with it, he used you and most likely liked you for what you had to offer or your looks but never loved you and he probably doesn't love Hannah either. Men like this can't love, they're only programmed to take. Don't beat yourself up because he's no longer with you just beat yourself up that you were with such a dog, rub some salt on your wounds and get back up and just remember Hannah and Austin are probably laughing about you every time you message him so don't.

 

*caution this is a lot of reading*

If hes always busy, the side chick is you. Ok enough bad humor here

From my perspective (male and a douschebag) *according to my ex's* anyway, It seems like he never really broke up with her. If I dump a girl, I'm not gonna let her live with me while I'm dating someone else. Shit I hardly talk to any of my ex's just because I hate em. The main thing here is not to over-think what your situation is. He is a liar, he is dating her, those are facts you know. I suggest you move from him because he is right, you do deserve better. I kinda saw something similiar happen to my friend, she was devastated. The goal throughout this is always to move on, to adapt, to survive. If you can move on from this, you will be better off, but I think you needed a kick start to move on. I would suggest that you don't think about your past with him just because it leads to heart ache. You should go outdoors more, spend time with friends, anything to take your mind off him.

And for an FYI, you should trust your instincts, I'm not saying you should snoop 24/7 because thats kinda scary to a guy, but I am saying, follow what you think is going on, sit us down, talk to us, find what it is that your questioning. Most of the time, its just misunderstandings, but yes in this case, it was quite stupid of him. Tbh, I have no idea why I'm still talking or writing this either, because I don't know you, and I have my own issues, but I guess if anything helps I'm glad to contribute to whatever need be.

"At the moment of depression the feeling being unneeded dreads in our minds, but in the moment of true love, nothing is more blissful." - Me

Its something I said for my speech a long time ago in school. We always have doubt in ourselves about what we can truly accomplish through others. We question things such as, will he love me ever? Is she cheating on me? Can I trust them? etc etc etc. Its in our human nature to find a compatible mate and person that fits the bill. We want whats best for us, we strive for proving self worth. Your worth is not dependent upon another, and its something you must understand, your worth is dependent on yourself. Being wanted is not dependent on a single person, but on a group aka "friends". You may think of pills as an alternative of his *love* but its not a true remedy. The true remedy lies within you already. No foreign substance can make you feel better 24/7. But you can make yourself feel better. If you need any advice feel free to pm me.