Girlfriends Abusive Family

Here's the deal, my girlfriend has an abusive family. Verbally and Physically I believe.

There has been cases where we have been talking on the phone, and she will all of a sudden have to go. Later on she will snap chat me or text me, and she will be sitting inside her closet, in a sense hiding from her father.

Her family consists of 6 other siblings. These siblings are adopted siblings, though she is not. She helps out around the house with these children, but it seems like she always gets the short end of the stick.

She is constantly being verbally abused by her younger sister, and she just takes it. She won't defend herself or anything. Mind you, she's only 5'3. I've never heard her sister call her by her actual name while we've been on the phone or Skype.

She is always constantly wanting away from home, she tells me that when she is at home, thats when the most bullying goes on.

I've tried to suggest to her that standing up for herself would make her seem less vulnerable, but she says that it only makes things worse.

I would love some suggestions that I can give her from the Sythe community. I feel so bad for her.

 

if you have solid reasons to think her father is abusive verbally or physically, the logical thing to do would be to talk about it with your parents first, see what they think about the situation and also, possibly report it to the police eventhough I know it's a hard thing to do

 

There hasn't been a case where she has told me he just hit her, but she is scared of him, and she's constantly hiding from him. He's drunk by 9AM. I also forgot to mention it's her step-father.

 

Where does her mother factor into all of this, if a mother is present. How old is your girlfriend as well? Those both can and will factor into your available options.

I dealt with a very similar situation when I was 16.

 

We're both 18, she tells me her mother is kinda distant and verbally abusive to her.

 

Verbally abused by her younger sibling? Is she not telling her mother or father about this? Big families usually bring stress which develops intolerance to many things, specifically behavior. Being unable to deal with many things at once will cause you to act irrationally.

What I can suggest:

Your girlfriend needs to build a backbone. Being as she is the oldest, at least to my knowledge, being on the short end of the stick in such a big family is to be expected. She can't allow the younger kids to verbally abuse her as these bad habits will transcend and carry on later in life. Family issues like these are seemingly impossible to break at the core given the circumstance. She'll have to deal with it and be a stronger person until she is able to live on her own.

 

I agree 100%, I've told her many times that she can't let her sister treat her like that, the problem is that her sister is much bigger than her and is very violent. So that's why she acts a coward.

 

Girlfriend went home today after I dropped her off. She was washing dishes and in a sense was arguing with her father. Long story short, her father threw pan at her and it split her brow open. This is getting out of control. She keeps telling me that I cannot do anything about it, but it makes me so frustrated. No girl should ever go through any abuse from a man, let alone her father.

 

Tough situation, should get child services involved if there's physical and mental abuse involved.

 

Not much they can do since she is 18. And considering she is likely financially dependent on her parents, this makes it much worse.

Although Revan, I would talk with her about possibly pursuing some form of charges. While they might not actually be filed nor the parent(s) taken to court, simply beginning the act or showing the willingness to do so can calm the situation at home. Bare in mind, it can also have the opposite effect and make it worse.

 

I meant more for her other siblings, but I'm sure this has been going on for years don't you think? But yeah I agree with the fact that charges could be brought into this.

 

Talk to your parents, and tell them you want your girlfriend to move in with you. Explain that her situation isn't optimal and let them know that this is the only logical way to go about this.

After this, have her call the police and child services. If there is physical, verbal and/or mental abuse going on in that household, checking this is important. Nobody should have to go through being bullied by their own family.