Am I really in love with this girl?

Okay. So I've been dating this girl for almost 9 months now, and I feel like she's the one. I have ever since we started dating actually. Now, I've been in love more than once, but this one feels so much different. When we first started dating, she was attractive, but I could see all of her flaws. But after like 2 and a half months, I couldn't see them any more. As if they never existed at all. I love her long blonde hair, the way she smells, those big blue eyes, and how if I stare at her too long, she makes funny faces at me, the way she walks, her voice, I can keep on going, but I'd loose train of thought. But sometimes I'll see other attractive girls, an be like "Man... I'd tear that up!" and sometimes I think of how awesome it would be to whore myself around on other girls. I want to father this woman's children, and have a bright future with this girl. And another thing, I plan to enlist into the Marines, and she is gonna have to stay behind and wait for me to come back home, until she's finished with school, then I can marry her, and take her with me <3 I feel that I'm in love, but with the given statements earlier in the post, do you feel like we can make it, am I finally with the one I'll be with the rest of my life? Tell me what you think!

 

Finding other women attractive and wanting to slam them does not mean that you don't love who you're with, it's human nature to be attracted to the opposite sex. However, if you think it'd be awesome to whore yourself around, even though you're with someone.... That doesn't seem right to me lol. And if you're not in love with her, leave her before you go into the Marines. Being a Marine myself, and having many friends that are enlisted, we found out the hard way that it's best not to have a relationship when you go in. But if you do love her then by all means keep her.

 

I didn't mean whore around as we are dating. I forgot to
Say if I was single I would. Lol, but did you know anyone who was in my shoes, but their relationship actually worked out?

 

I've seen this work out many times. one being my grandfather and my own father. only if you and her are 100% committed should you proceed.

 

I really appreciate both of your input on this. Anyone else?

 

"I plan to enlist into the Marines, and she is gonna have to stay behind and wait for me to come back home, until she's finished with school, then I can marry her, and take her with me"

Right here is where you jump shit, do you know the statistics of women cheating on their husbands in the military?

Let alone... girlfriend.

This is puppy love, you're young and have a lot of growing to do. So does she, you both will change as you grow.

A good piece of advice...

Love is a fragile thing. It will dissolve, so you have to recreate it everyday.

How do you plan on recreating it when you're not there? Think, man.

 

You're probably young, correct me if I'm wrong, and serious relationships don't happen too often, especially if you still think about sleeping with other girls.

Unless you're really serious and you're sure she's really serious, I'd wait til after you come back, because it's a lot to ask of a young relationship.

 

Honestly not really, the percentage of people that enlist and their spouse or partner does not cheat on them is very low. Say I have 10 friends that all go in with girlfriends or wives, 8 out of 10 end up cheating, and i'm not even exaggerating lol. My one friend got back from deployment with his buddy, and when his friend got deployed again but he didn't, he went to the local bar and saw his friend's wife on a date with another man and he flipped out on the wife. I guess ultimately you have to think, "If I enlist and she cheats on me, will I be able to handle the fallout?" Or ask yourself "What's more important, her, or my career?" Those are just a few question you have to ask yourself.

 

There's no way to know if a relationship is going to last. You can hope that it works out and believe that it will, but doesn't mean everything you want to happen will happen the way you want. If it works it works if it doesn't it doesn't. I wouldn't worry about the checking other girls out thing as long as you don't cheat on her, even married people look at other males or females in public. It's not like looking at someone means you would cheat on your boyfriend or girlfriend, it's perfectly normal human behavior to have a wandering eye, so to speak. If you find some one attractive there's nothing you can do to change it, it's fine.

Tl;dr version - You won't know until you've been together a bit longer.

 

I'm not gonna tell you its a bad idea to marry her if you enlist and I'm also not going to tell you its a good idea...butttt I will tell you what Ive seen!

- You enlist; you're separated from your girlfriend for 4+ months while you go through boot
- You Graduate; boot camp head home on leave and spend every waking moment her. You guys love each other so much
- You two depart and you head to your duty station
- Can't stand not being with each other, and the only real way to get her across the country to you is through marriage. I mean after all absence makes the heart grow fonder
- A quick visit to the court house, some paperwork at the s-shops and bam she's on her way to you quite soon!
- A couple months go by and you two love it
- Then you or both of you realize shit is way different now. You guys will be around each other....a lot, coming home to her. You'll start noticing things that aggravate you etc. . .
- Divorce

I think I've seen that exact scenario play out at least 4 times? The dudes were under 21 and divorced. Divorced at 21 is just crazy!

Due keep in mind if you do follow through and enlist you guys will definitely be doing your own thing between her in college and your active duty service (which can definitely be time consuming)...and to boot probably a pretty decent amount of miles between you two. Right now it sounds like your young, I could be very wrong...but your mentality and wording tells me you probably are...When you say something along the lines of "It would be awesome to whore myself around to other girls (if I were single)".

That right there is your red flag haha! I'm not saying its a bad thing, its definitely something I try to do. I also thought the same thing when I had a girlfriend until I broke up with her. Just think, if you're saying that now after 9 short months what do you think you'll be saying in the next 2 years? ESPECIALLY if you joined the Marines man, I'm sure the other veterans/active duty people will agree with me when I say you will be on top of the world when you graduate. Your self worth and confidence will be elevated to a whole new level! That mixed with an abundant amount of miles apart and a new set of rowdy friends will not end well.

That's just on your end also man, I'm not going to put thoughts into your head but my god have I seen some conniving whores lol.

Best advice would be to take it really slow, see how things go. The goal here is not to be that guy in your unit who's in a toxic marriage heading towards a nasty divorce!

 

Love is a powerful and dangerous word so don't get stuck up in it. Your always taking a chance since people change all the time so it's on you honestly. I won't tell you that your wrong or right but do what you feel what's best.

 

Alright. I loved all of your input, but I've got all I needed! You gave me your honest opinions, and I respect them a lot. But you guys are scaring me. Lol

 

To me love is all the matters, if you feel she is the one, go for it. However in my opinion to have a stable relationship, one that can last forever there should be both stability and maturity so if you guys are still young I suggest waiting a few more years before getting married and settling down together. Gl tho

 

I wouldn't jump the gun I would just play it out and honestly if it is meant to be then it's meant to be. You shouldn't rush anything. It is possible you're in love with her but it is also possible it's "puppy" love. So just take it day by day.

 

Only you can tell if you're truly in love. ^_^
However, because you still find other women attractive and would "tear that up", maybe (especially if you're young) you're not ready to be settled down and committed to one woman. Just my thought. :>