I feel miserable

I need some help with life right now, I am going through a breakup as of right now. I am a college student and I had my life planned with my long term girlfriend. I saw a future with her and we were very serious, but I seem to not understand truly why she left me. We are both in college and I honestly went to a school near hers in an attempt to make us be together, but I wasn't happy at that institution and it was expensive for me ( i am not made of money in any way) so I chose to come back to a school that is basically like a full ride. I admit that I am a jealous ass hole and possessive that I want her attention and not to share it with anyone ( i feel like that's everyone a little) So we were doing fine until she had to leave to college ( i begin earlier as I am on the semester system and she is in the quarter) but she seemed to get distant slowly as I just thought about doing good for our future. We spoke about it and were on board and everything. Just that this past Sunday I had pain in my lower right wisdom teeth and she didn't care, she was being weird and I told her I was in pain and even after that she asked me if she could go to a party and I was so hurt. How can you choose to party when the person you love is in pain? I'd rather stay the night and just want to know she is ok if it were the other way around. The pain was bad so I did have to go get my teeth removed the following day but we had broken up and she told me she needed trust and everything and me kinda just said we can't trust. Long story short, I spoke to her yesterday and was communicating very clear, I was saying we can give each other full trust and everything and she kept finding excuse after excuse to not be with me until the end she said I just bring too much stress and she doesn't want that. She said school stress + me is bad, but my friend told me that's bullshit because I would be an escape from her school stress and more. I was planning to fly her out to me at least once a month to see her for a weekend and see her during my school break. I am just destroyed and literally cry myself to sleep every day and am so miserable. I was sitting down on my computer last thinking what would happen if I honestly just overdosed on my meds. I do think it's maybe because she met someone new (shes been hanging out with some cod pro from her school) and idk. I doubt it but maybe there is something. I just need help and feel so empty. Imagine cryign to your dad and explainging this? My parents loved her too

 

Forget her and move on. Focus on your end goal, not the tail you were chasing along the way. You'll be fine man

 

Hey man, it's alright. People break up all the time, and even if you don't think so right now, it'll get better. Don't talk about overdosing on your meds and shit man, it was a relationship. That relationship doesn't define who you are, and I am sure you are a great guy. There are plenty of fish in the sea, if you wanna talk just msg me on skype @ furreal.rwt

 

It just sucks because the time, effort, and things I lost. I lost so much and i know, but its just like it hurts man

 

It's alright, it'll get better with time bro.

 

I feel you man, I recently went through a break up too, she lost interest in me and didn't feel the way she used to towards me, these things happen, just remember the good times and try to move on from the experience, im about 2 weeks in now since the breakup and i already feel alot better then i did when we freshly broke up. Try to keep your mind to the future, don't think about the why's and hows too much. find something to distract yourself with.

As for telling your parents, if you haven't already, they might love your ex girlfriend but you are their son, they'll comfort you the best they can.

You'll be alright man, don't think of poppin pills over a breakup, its something most of us go through at some point. What determines you is how you deal with the situation at hand and what you do to move on from it.

 

I appreciate all of you guys and just want to say thank you.

 

No problem man, feel free to pm me or add my skype if you wanna talk.

 

Sounds like you two have had problems in the past in some way to burn the bridge of trust between you. Perhaps she cheated and you chose to stay and move on but the trust you had is gone. You think of the worst possible outcome when you're not there to supervise. Not trying to come off as being rude just trying to determine the rising point that would trigger overwhelming jealousy and lack of trust.
Honestly, there's no easy way out of a meaningful relationship by any means. You can sit and seek advice for as long as you want but you more than likely won't find anything to salvage your broken heart. Reason being because it's not what you want to hear, the only thing that would heal you instantly is to have the woman in your arms, sight or just plainly be in your presence. Just give her space, if it's meant to be it will be, you on the other hand should try to focus on the life ahead of you, show her what you can be from a distance. Make peace with her decisions. Goodluck brother.

 

In my opinion having some time away from each other is good, you never know maybe she needed some space, & breaking up was the way she had to do it so you wouldn't be hurt more if someone your still in a relationship told u we need some space with out breaking up with u. i do suggest you try to better yourself with how possessive you are with her it will help u in other future relationships because not every body can handle someone thats very controlling per say, but i totally understand that u want her n would love her to be by ur side everywhere u go. but you have to understand some people feel suffocated n like she stated school stress is something ppl hate. So try to be less possesive n more out going n have fun if u guys end up back together or if u get in another relationship just be fun and cool with each other both of you guys are young, make memories with each other.

 

All i know is how to spoil myself now smh rip

 

I know the feeling, but you have no choice but to move on. From her perspective, I can ascertain that you were being clingy. College is a new experience with new people and encounters. Perhaps she wanted to experience that without being tied down. You should do the same.

 

I'm not trying to be mean when saying the following. You sound kind of needy. Expecting her to drop her life because you have temporary pain in your tooth and then accusing her of not caring is a bit over the top and I can imagine a lot of girls not being attracted to that. Most girls want to feel like they are taken care of, not feel like they need to take care of someone. I can see how having to tend to someone's problems constantly is stressful. It is good that you realize that you are possessive but also you have to understand that it is that quality that tends to push people away. It also sounds like you cry a lot (nothing wrong with that!). Do you cry in front of her a lot? That could also be very unattractive. Maybe she feels like you aren't a man. I wish you the best of luck! Be strong brother.

 

If someone is in pain, no matter the gender, I would expect the S/O of the person to be there for them. I am a man and if my girlfriend was feeling pain, I would be there, and if I was in pain I would like to think that she would be there for me as well.

 

No person is worth so much pain. Separate yourself, for yourself. Find a way to be happy while alone. Once you're content with yourself, you'll learn how to make a relationship work without needing the other person.

If you take meds, you could talk to your doctor. The meds could be making you irrational/overemotional. Talk to someone. Talk to your parents. Anyone. Ask for help. Make sure it's not something else that you're unaware of first. Don't OD though man, there's so much more to life. If you need someone to talk to, just PM me for my Skype.

Wish you the best of luck.

 

Every feeling feels like the end of the world until you realize its not. Sure losing people you loved sucks, but everyone changes, sometimes you just don't change the same way so you split up. With any breakup as you walk away from it you need to see your mistakes and hers throughout the relationship and learn from them, you need to realize that you can't always be with or cling to someone you want to stay.

Over reacting is a sign you had a lot of feelings for them sure, but it also turns them off to any possibility of a decent relationship down the road, friends or otherwise.

Also if you aren't dating someone, don't stalk them. Virtually or Physically, it'll only make you feel bad and the second you hit like on one of her pictures from 5 years ago she'll know whats going on. Not saying you have, but you seem like the type that would, but most of us are at first.

If you want to hear something related to getting back together with her, I can't help you in any short term plan. But in the long term bettering yourself after every relationship, going back to seeing its flaws and your own and learning from them. Maybe lose some weight, gain some muscle, learn a language. Whatever, just do something that makes you a better person. But do it for you and your future, not anyone else.