Friend and I like the same girl

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A WALL OF TEXT

I met this guy first day in my English class this year and we got along very well from the start. Ever since than till now we have grown a lot closer and spent practically every lunch hour with each other, a lot of our weekends, and always sit besides each other in our classes (BROMANCE). After two months of getting to know each other I find out something that put me on the fence, he told me who he liked. The problem is I have started to fall for the exact same girl the first day of school. She sat behind me with her friend the entire first semester and always made the effort to sit besides me whenever we wrote notes. I would notice whenever I talked to her she'd fidget with her hair and always smile. Jump forward to now, her and I have started skyping for hours daily (since she doesn't have a phone). What's tearing me apart is my friend has liked her since grade 9, but than until now (Grade 11) his game with her has never improved. He has told me the most interactions he has had with her were casual hi's and he sent her a rose last Valentine's day, but never recalled having an actual conversation with her. This Valentines day he spent the whole morning and lunch hour contemplating on whether or not he should talk to her and buy her a gift. You can tell from liking the same girl for a couple of years and being so timid with her, he REALLY likes her, but cannot make a first move. He also is very jealous whenever another guy tries talking to her he gets kind of depressed. Which is why I hang out with her during our common spare (which he has class during), but rarely spend any time apart from that. Neither him or her know about this situation, and my conscience is nagging at me like a fly. I want to say something to him, but ruining our friend ship is the last thing I want to do since I value it so much, but I know what i'm doing right now is not helping the cause. What should I do?

tl;dr version
- Friend and I like the same girl
- Been talking with her a lot behind his back
- He's really shy and has never made progress with her
- Neither of them know about this situation

 

Seen this before just walk away that is the best policy. I had two friends that were the best of friends fall out over the same situation . No girl is worth losing friends for after all friends are useally forever and you never know how long that relationship will last.

 

this depends if he thinks he might have a chance with this girl.
Just talk to him about it i confronted the girl i like's ex bf and he said goodluvk asking her out. He's a good mate of mine aswell.

If he is a good guy then he would support you

 

Id go with the girl but my friends are dicks...

 

Alright from real world experience I lost my best friend of 8 years to a situation like this. Friends are forever anD hoes never last. I lost my friend about 3 years ago. The girl that tore us apart is a loser that had a baby with a guy creepy older then her that lives at his moms. I joined the army out of high school and started a family. I found him recently and he fell in with the bad crowd I left behind, the people I promised his widow mother I'd protect him from. Iv only cried 3 times in my life 2 were from the loss of close family. It is not worth it.

 

I have a problem with people saying friends last forever and girls/relationships don't. I started dating my girlfriend a couple years and doing so I am not as close to my friends as I used to be, but I don't regret it. These have been the best years of my life. I'm going to marry her and live with her the rest of my life. So yes I chose a girl over friends and no they weren't nor are they bad people now. I still stay in contact and see them sometimes, but we don't hang out or do things like we used to.
Sorry for the story, but it is not right to say all situations involving girls and friends turn out bad. I would say talk to your friend about it. He needs to realize he can't just like a girl for years and expect for no one to try and make a move. His time has come and gone. He has waited much to long. I think you have the right to make a move, but do talk with him first and go form there.

 

Talk to the girl, and your friend.. what fball56 said above, He needs to realize he can't just like a girl and put restrictions/boundaries on her, *essentially* when the guy doesn't even talk to her. He's still waiting, and doing nothing so I think it's your turn to do something, since he isn't/probably never will.

 

I'd say personally girls/girlfriends will come and go but if the friendship is that important to you, it's definitely one to keep.

All depends how strongly you feel about this girl though..

 

I'd personally talk to your friend about it before doing anything.

 

Yeah, you must talk to your friend about this and clear things up or else it's going to get really complicated.

 

I'm with Imagine on this. Talk with your friend about it, but be sure to approach it in such a way that you indicate that if he'd like to go forward at all you'd gladly back off.

 

Seems like Platypi is a Skux. From what I've read she is pretty keen if she makes the effort to sit next to you and skypes with you for hours. Your friend is either really shy to make the first move or she is just ignoring him because she is not interested. If you really like her and you've known her for a long time you should confront her about him.

Another suggestion would be to talk to your friend about her and say that you will try to see if she is interested in your friend. This will give you a reason to talk to her about your friend. If she is completely not interested at all just tell your friend "Hey, bad luck; there are plenty of fish in the see". I know he'd probably get pretty cut up but that's life and everyone gets rejected in their life.

Wait for him to get over her (if possible) or try and get him confident to speak to other girls. Keep talking to the girl on skype and try speak to her when your friend isn't there so he doesn't think of her again or w/e.

Once your friend gets over her, talk to him about it and if he's a good friend he'd support you because if he doesn't have a chance and you do, he's letting your opportunity go away. I've seen this work before however I don't know these characters too well so I don't know if this will work. Although, this is the best way to keep your mate and have the girl. Obviously you could walk away and just follow the whole "bro's before hoes". But if you have a chance with her and he doesn't, it's just an opportunity gone to waste.

If you want more help or something hit me up on MSN or PM me because I've seen this happen quite a bit.

 

DONT throw away a friendship for a girl...chances are shes not the 1 and ull break up eventually, always pick friends over a girl