I'm 15 Have a Rare Disease and Am Lonely.

Well Hi, I'm well NAP TIME BITCHES, Nap Time, or Alex. I'm going to start off with the rare disease part of the story. I was always chocking and throwing up when I was a child and my Mom thought is was just because "If you would stop moving", or "Just chew your food correctly" (Is there even a right way to chew your food?). So speeding up to around when I was like 11-12, and I choked on Mashed Potatoes. Like you chokes on Mashed Potatoes, WTF!? Well that was the last straw for my Mom and she took me to the doctor. They scoped my esophagus (throat) and it was the size of an infants. Turns out I have a rare disorder called Eosinophilic Esophagitis, EE for short. Basically my body is rejecting my esophagus. It's a fairly new disease with only 15 years of research, most medicines take 7 years to approved by someone important I forget the name of the people . I have now had it for almost 4 years now and I have a feeding tube sticking out of my stomach. Now I don't mind all this, I mean after 4 years you get used to things. So far there is no remission (sign of being cured), and I'm allergic to basically everything in the world. You name it I'm allergic, from food, plants, smoke, bugs, grass, trees, EVERYTHING. So I sit around all day playing League of Legends with my niggas . It helps some days but other days, I get extremely lonely. My Mom moved me from New Jersey to North Carolina for the best hospital at the time for my disease. I have Agoraphobia (afraid of being outside), Anxiety, Some Depression, and overall loneliness. I'm 15 yet I know what I want in a woman. I want a family, I want love, I want to be loved by someone other then my family. I want a Wife, Kids, the whole 9, but the problem is, I'm not confident in myself whatsoever. Whenever I step outside just to go to the Walmart, which is only like 3 miles away, I'm fine until we're inside. Then I start noticing cute girls and panic, start to sweat, but on my face I'm playing it cool. When in reality my brain is freaking the fuck out. I just want to find love, but it's extremely hard. Especially when I don't like it here, I don't know anyone here, and we plan on moving back up north. I have tried everything, I just want to meet that hardcore gamer that happens to be a female and we just click. It's damn near impossible to find that shit now a days, and for them to take a 15 year old serious? You have a better chance of seeing Christ before that happens. This shit sucks, and I know I'm going to get those comments saying, "You're just a little kid, live your life. Don't worry about love, it'll find you", but I've been waiting and I've only had talk to 1 girl on mic around my age from the same state on xbox. Then she quit and only kept IRL friends. I mean I've e-dated like once or twice with random "chicks" on RS. Haven't we all done that? No just me? Well damn, cold world. I don't know what to put anymore, it's all over the place. I have tried everything, and nothing works. (This part was most likely 99% not needed but I'm venting so FUCK IT) I mean I even http://gyazo.com/a40f2b87feb9dba4faf9dbf521c76742 lol. (Back to the serious stuff) Just need something to help me out, and the only thing in my mind right now that will help is that one lady I'm looking for. Hopefully you guys can come up with some stuff to help me out, or just give me some encouragement to help me get on. I don't know, just post whatever you want down below. Feels good to let all this out, that's what she said.

 

Firstly, yes you're young and you do have a life to live! Women are complicating, being one myself.. I know this! You're still so young and have more important things to be worrying about! As for being afraid to go outside, you need to work on that little by little. Force yourself to do new things, go new places. Being inside on the internet all day isn't going help you. Perhaps join a youth group, community club? Anything that would get you interacting with other people, people your own age.

As for your illness, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't really shead any light on that situation since I'm not familiar with EE. But you honestly shouldn't let it stop you from living your life. Sure, it might limit you from doing things. But you should work around them, hell get a bubble. I would love to live in a bubble >.<.. make the most of what you got, everything in life will fall in place!

 

I can't probably say anything about disease since in my own life i have never had any "big" one but maybe i can somehow cheer you up with my own story of how i have found my own girl.

Basically on the beginning i think as every 15 years old boy i was really stressed, it was hard to talk with girls or idk mby we are of the same kind of people which can't make it easily. After sometime i have lost faith in myself and my own view of myself was like "I'm not as cool and good looking as other boys". Everything changed when i have been 17 years old. I have went on a Convention of anime and manga 12 hours far from my own town by train.

And it was stupid story. I just walked around with my e-friend which i met on that convention and we had big card with "Free Hugs" written on it. Somehow... i don't know why and i don't know how very cute gaming and full in anime and manga girl sticked to me. She hugged me and walked behind me doing it again and again for like 30 minutes... i seriously don't know why till today because she had a boyfriend.

Anyway she and her friend invited me for a week to stay in her friends house (i have met them both on that convention). Somehow that girl didn't had boyfriend anymore, and somehow after 2-3 days we ended up "together". Some things happened ... hmm how to tell it. It is like normal day. Nothing is telling that something good will happen and boom 5 seconds later u win 15 million dollars. It was situation like that. Sudden one. I will not write about other shit. Its enough that i got courage in myself. Thanks to that girl (which i was meeting for some months - yeah lol i was riding 12 hours by train to her a lot xD) i changed my own view on myself.

Thanks to that after we ended with each other (though we still talked a lot for next 1-2 years) i had courage in myself and i knew good things can happen suddenly. The best way is to not find love by force - i mean I HAVE TO so i will try to date that and that girl. Nope. It happened suddenly again. There is no patter for it (Or there is because it happened again on convention - this time in my town). I have met girl which i knew 2-3 years ago. She wasn't talking to me because someone said something bad about me. She got angry on me and then she was too shy to explain and apologize.

On that convention - same year when i was 17 she met me and i met her. She apologized and explained that she was too shy to talk to me again for these 2-3 years. Somehow after 1 month we ended together. Now we are together for 4 years, i am 21 and... and i am happy.

Oh and she is pro gamer. She can stay up till 7 am and play a lot just to come to my place at 8 am and go to sleep... xD

IF THAT WAS TOO LONG TO READ THEN CONCLUSION IS - Don't look for love because it will find you. Only thing is to try to go somewhere. No matter where. Just if your disease allows you - go somewhere, try to talk with people, try to interact with any1. Even if you are scared or you are afraid of it because of your mind... try. It is always about trying.

 

I grew up with only women, they're very complicated lol. As for joining a youth group or something like that, I might do that when we move up north. Another reason behind being inside and not making friends is because, I don't want to make friends then leave them like what I did to my friends up north. Even though moving was for the greater good for my health. Then finally for the bubble part, it might sound good in your mind, but in reality when you're in there, you can never have any human touch ever again. The closest thing that you could get to touching another human is through plastic arms. You will never be able to get out of the bubble ever, because the second you step out, you will die from all the germs that hit you at once. My Mom started crying because she said "You will never be able to hug me again", and it hit me hard. It puts a knot in my chest just thinking about it, but enough about all that. I will definitely keep you advice in mind, thanks <3 .

 

Hey man, I'm sorry to hear about your disease, I'm sorry to say this is the first time I've come across it. I agree with DivicaSales in the idea that she told you to become more interactive in a community, a girl isn't going to show up in your bed one day, let alone THE DREAM GIRL you talk about.

I'd just like to say that through personal experience, seriously as cliche as it may sound, seize the day and such is life. Just live everyday like its your last and spend it in a way that will make you happy, if you feel like playing ADC all day, go ahead. But it sounds right now that you are looking for love (although very young atm) but who am I to judge?

Go out, participate to people and don't be afraid to make friends, if you lose some along the way, it's normal and such is life. I'm fairly certain you won't be able to make the transition instantly but hopefully through time you can make more friends and I hope you find that girl man.

Best of Luck

 

My nigga she made you a TONS OF DAMAGE PILLOW! That's my type of woman lol, but yeah I would love to go to conventions like MLG/PAX and shit like that, but money be tight atm . The feels when you were 15, the feels are so strong lol. That story about the first girl then the your female right now, the part with holding the signs, I might have done something like that, but I don't think I have the guts to do so . Hearing (well reading) your story does help a lot, the fact that it is possible just to happen to go to a convention or just somewhere random and happen to find a girl. It really does help to know like that destiny or whatever you want to call does exist. Thanks my nigga lol.

 

All the advise I can offer you about girls is to not look at them like they're objects and the nervous feeling will go away and it will become easier to talk to them. There's more there then just a set of boobs and and an ass so just block those out until you at least introduce yourself without stumbling on your words. They make great friends too so just get to know a few of them. I can say that all the girls I've made friends with I eventually started dating. I also Have a fear of people in general just going to the mall is really hard for me I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me. I dropped out of school 4 times because it was so hard, but it does get easier, it gets better as time passes and I just keep putting myself in situations where I'll be surrounded by lots of people. I stayed in my room for an entire year when I was fifteen, it was fall when I went home next thing I know it was winter then I went outside and it was fall again and I have no idea where summer went? You just need to throw yourself out there, don't waste your teen years like I did and be left at 20 wishing you could go back and do it all over again because trust me it's not fun.

 

Sorry to hear about the disease my man, but you seem like a strong kid for putting up with it these years. Anyways, with your girl situation - talk flirty to girls on League of Legends. I know it sounds weird, but I use to do it on Runescape when I was your age. Man, I use to be a pimp with the girls on there. Eventually the game died and everyone fell off the planet, but it is a good memory. Doing this actually helped me talk to girls in person.

So just talk to girls on LoL - use this as practice, unless you want an e-girlfriend. Then if the girls like you, or appreciate your company, take a step further and talk on Skype and enjoy the game together. Then use this practice into the real world. You will be a pimp in no time, haha. Will check back on the thread, enjoy your day.

EDIT: Was looking at LoL gameplay - can you even walk around unrestricted in that game? Haha