Help? Serious shit

alright, I'm thinking about how to say this.... I'm here seeking for honest advice on my whole situation and need 100% honesty and just idk. I'll begin with some background. I have been dating this amazing girl (some of you know based twitch & etc.) she's so amazing to me and I have fallen in love with her more than ever and glad to say she's my first love &I the love of my life. That girl who you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life, the person who makes you want to stop everything and just be happy. We have been dating for a while now and I thought we were really serious (never been in a serious relationship before) she met my parents, I met hers, my parents love her etc. The issue began moving away to college and seeing how we would stay together. I threw away a good university for her (don't regret it one bit) and went to Washington for her. I came back as things weren't very cool and it was rather weird. I now attend a uni back in CA &a she goes to school in Washington. It began when I had wisdom teeth pain on a Sunday and she didn't really care much for it, she even asked me to go out and party that same night. (Idk whether she went or not) & we broke up that day because I felt she didn't care. We weren't together for a week and I tried my best to get her back. I cried, begged, promised, literally everything and was going to buy a ticket to see her honestly. She then spent that week getting close to some guy and I can say she liked him or something. She wanted the college expiernce and just be stress free and not have to worry about limits or get bitched at by me. She texted me that week and would tell me sweet things but was using the guy to get over me. She told me she cuddled with him and that's it. No kissing and max touching was his arm over her (at least that's what she says) we got back after that &a we would try harder and honestly I just didn't feel something the same. In a way she told me yesterday she left me because she wanted to hoe and wasn't sure whether she wanted to be with me. I'm glad she was honest but she says she's ready now and and just realized it during that week, but I feel so hurt. I was giving it a lot and so much and meant it to her when she said she wanted forever. I was doing things for us and her OVER ME. I cared more about her and only her. It just hurts and sucks because I knew that's why it happen but she didn't want to admit it. I don't trust her word, I feel so upset, I feel like I was taken for granted, and I'm just so afraid.... idk what to do &I I'm sorry for shit grammar. I'm just idk need some help & idk to be honest. Shit is rough & I can't even explain it well? Hope you guys can understand me

 

Honestly sounds like you want to date a woman and you're dating a girl. A common problem that plagues college aged students. Despite societal expectations there are plenty of people in college who have failed to mature fully -- or at all in some cases. This girl really does not sound like she is worth your time and resources as you have already given up considerable sacrifices and it does not seem like she is willing to reciprocate.

We have a way of over-appraising our first love. My first love eventually became a heroin addict and is currently in jail. Did I believe she was perfect when we dated? Of course. Did she turn out to be horrible for me? Yes. I'm not saying this girl is on par with mine, I'm just saying first love is deceiving and rarely if ever works out. You remember them always because they were the first ones to make you feel that way, but most of the time your first love is there to simply teach you, not be the one you're going to be with forever.

 

It doesn't seem like you trust her now, and for good reason. You're putting so much effort and love into something that she isn't sure about anymore, but don't think it's because of you. You've done your part, but you can't force someone to love you; even if you could, is that the way you would want to be loved?

If someone hesitates to choose you, don't let them choose you at all. Walk away. First loves don't usually last, and they usually aren't even that great (you'll realize this when you meet someone who is more right for you). When I say there are better people out there, I mean it. It may sting to hear that, but this isn't the end of the world. Let her live her life, and you live yours. You'll be happier for it.

I'd recommend just spending time with yourself, and learn how to be happy alone. Focus on getting good grades and making a future for yourself. A failed relationship isn't always a bad thing; nothing is wrong with being alone for a little while.

 

You gotta cut this girl off, from the way your describing it she doesn't know what the heck she wants. When she comes back pleading for you, simply tell her like it is and hit her with the facts. She did you dirty over some dude she didn't even know that much and she doesn't know what she wants in her life and you don't play those games. Done deal - Hit up some parties and get to know new people. Best of luck pal you got this.

 

Let it go, let it go.. You seem to value her far more than she values you, so I would leave now.

 

guys this girl is special and i am deeply in love and i actually spoke with her and she said shes serious. Call me stupid but i guess ill give it a try. If we get married ill invite sythe lmfao

 

She will hurt you again. It sounds like you are just scared to let go.

 

Come on bro be realistic, you really think she's being honest when she tells you all they did was cuddle and there was no touching of any kind? The reality is she probably fucked him, and for all you know didn't even use protection. Especially since she said she left you because "she wanted to hoe around". In my opinion that's exactly what she did and the other dude just wanted to hit it a few times and quit it, which explains why she came running back to you.

If she did it once she'll do it again, my opinion is you tell her to kick rocks and focus and your studies and future. There are plenty of other girls out there and when I say plenty I mean plenty.

 

Thanks guys I love yall

 

Exactly - get your mind right. Shes MOST likely lying to you. Even if shes telling you the truth, you don't do that to someone you care about. The unfortunate truth is things will never go back to normal between you too. I'd advise doing your best to move on and focus on other things that interest you.

This happens to almost everyone once. Join the crew. You won't let it happen again. It will be ok.

 

I wrote about this in my eng 240 class and got an A. The best way I can describe this is with a cigarette. "I know smoke my cigarettes knowing of the consequences I will have to soon face." I know she'll leave soon, but I'm going to enjoy it. I'm just spoiling myself and stuff as of right now. I don't trust her and she knows that and told me she'll find a way to prove it to me.

 

I appreciate all of you and I won't come crying when it happens. I appreciate how strangers from the internet actually take their time to help me

 

I know that feels man, i had previous girlfriends ditch them for someone then begging to return a few months later, if she leaves you once, she will likely do it again, just move foward, it will hurt at first, and seem impossible to get over, but later along the line you will thank urself for doing it

 

Cut her off. This reminds me a lot of my first relationship. Just learn your lessons and move on. She made mistakes and now you know not to put up with that shit in your future relationships. You made mistakes and know not to do those things in your future relationships.

Also you sound way too obsessed. I don't mean that as an insult, because like I said your situation reminds me of a younger version of myself, but in the future your relationship should be two people living their own lives and spending time together. She should not be your life, you should not be hers.

Best of luck buddy

 

Honestly man I went through some super similiar shit and its not worth ruining yourself in the end for.. sorry I dont really have much advice but trust me its just not worth it..

 

As many of the users above have mentioned, I honestly think she's going to end up hurting you again, if a girl truly cares about you and loves you. She wouldn't have to break up with you or even have to cuddle with a guy to "hoe around". She's met your parents, you've met hers. You guys took that first step already. My best suggestion is to not fully be in love with her, just be yourself but don't be too attached incase she decides to leave you again. You won't be as hurt then.
Goodluck man, and you can always PM me when you need help.