I would like to ask what grade your in. If I could write an essay that short, I would be the happiest person ever...
But anyways...
You have completely forgotten to write about content. Depending on the teacher content could be much more important than the mechanics of the essay.
Picking a topic should be the first step in writing your essay also, unless it is given to you. Going ahead and starting to write an outline is also hard for many people. Jotting down notes on a piece of paper, then crossing out the bad ideas and such, then making an outline is much more helpful for most everyone I know.
The introductory paragraph is the most important one, and your section on it is very small. How do you write a good introduction? Define a "lead-in sentence". Touching on thesis points would be a great addition also.
You may also want to note that all essays are not thesis driven, meaning you do not have a thesis statement in all essays.
I'm getting bored of typing... So I will end there. :/