Changing for relationships

Hello!

I was curious to find out what you guys thought of people changing otherwise concrete actions/habits for a relationship. I will give an example, but please keep in mind it's not limited to this situation.

(by the way, these names are made up)

Joe and Brenda have been dating for a year. Brenda always hated that Joe smokes weed, but it doesn't have a negative effect on his work or social life. Do you think it's fair for Brenda to force Joe into changing? Do you think Joe should change?

I've heard a lot of people say things like "Don't change who you are for a girl." That being said, does/can a habit constitute who you are as a person?

I personally think that in certain cases, it's okay not to change. Me personally? I would definitely change something like that if it meant being with somebody I really loved and wanted to be with for a long time.

Please discuss

 

It really depends on the extent of the action/habit.
My girlfriend openly smokes. Never around me though. I dislike very much that she smokes, and have advised her to stop as personally I would like her to. However, if she says no and that she doesn't want to, this will not limit our relationship or halt it. So personally, I think that if, for example, Brenda asked Joe to stop, then it his completely his choice whether to stop or not. As you say, "don't change for a girl" unless you want to

 

I think u guys need to make a deal. That both ways are good.
Also I think if it's ur true love, then better change. Or go to another way,
get ur girlfriend addicted to smoking weed to, and smoke then weed together.

 

Lol it didn't happen to me or anything, I just hear it brought up pretty often. Just wanted to hear some opinions