Bullying

Growing up I have only had 2 friends, imma just call them J and A
So from age 5-11 I had serious anger problems meaning that if people would just keep trying to annoy me that eventually I will flip out, shout at them and cry

This turned out to be autism and anxiety however people would still pick on my just to make me react and even though many people said "don't react and they will stop" I physically couldn't help myself so this bullying continued until I left primary school (I'm from uk)

When I joined Secondary school I went to a different school to A however we still spoke and I went to the same school as J and this is where I met another friend who imma just call B, I got really close with B and despite the fact we had disagreements I knew that he was a trustworthy person so I knew any beef we would have I should just leave it because there is not many people you can trust

So when I was around 13 I went to A's Birthday with J and B and this was the first time all of us ever smoked weed.

So I went through a depression when I was 14 so I became very unsociable until not long ago when I decided to just go out, meet up with them, get high and just chill out for the first time in a while

When I went out I met J and B's new friends who were nice at first however they started to throw me on the floor, ruin brand new clothes, take my phone and just leave me panicing whilst they would throw stones and logs at me whilst I was looking for my phone, they did hand it back but would claim they found it and they deserve a reward, so I gave in and gave him 1 gram of weed the next time I came out. I wasn't I going to give it him but he was there when I bought it and took it and said this is because I found your phone and there was nothing much I could do

Not only did they physically hurt me by throwing stones, logs and grabbing my hoodie leaving marks I needed to explain somehow to my parents, they would always mention my moms name and take the piss out of my step-dad who is Scottish and this is what really effected me, when somebody says to you "why don't you just end it all" whilst acting like putting a rope around his neck it makes you seriously question what you did wrong in life, why you deserve this

I thought I would mention that A,J and B wouldn't do anything to me and would tell them they're going over the top every now and then but the bully's would just say "he should learn to defend himself"

I thought about this and when one of them was trying to throw me on the floor I punched him in the stomach, he than threw me to the floor and started to kick me and than grab my throat and hold me on the floor.

I'm in a position now where if I don't defend myself they will bully me and if I do they will hurt me... Life isn't fair

 

Find new friends. Period.
Dont put up with that type of stuff.
Get involved in personal development and grow your mind and spirit.
A good one to start with is:
Zen and the art of happiness - Chris Prentis
Grow and get yourself out of that situation.

 

I wish it was so easy to find new friends

 

Like I said. Start growing. Change the lens in which you see the world through.
You wouldnt have made that statement if you had PMA (Positive Mental Attitude)

 

Being that age sucks man fuck does it suck i know the pain. The thing is no you did nothing wrong and you're not alone more people go through this shit then don't believe me there. You need new friends tho i agree. I have a small crew of 3 friends so it's the 4 of us. If anyone says a negative thing to one of my homies in front of me and they can't properly take care of it themselves and are stuck i will personally end that situation in any form i see fit or try. Even if that means a cheap shot or sucker punch, but he's my homie ill lay(or try lol not saying im MMA fighter) whoever is trying to hurt him out and then we will run like hell home to play video games.

Stay strong matethese are always rough times for people you just have to stay above it. You're better then this shit and these feelings your feeling man.

"Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever sometimes they are only there long enough to teach you the lessons you needed to learn"

Honestly maybe lay off the weed for a bit. Not saying i'm against weed, but it makes you content in bad situations and thats a fact. It might not be helping your anxiety also which may be freaking you out about not finding more friends. Finding new friends is not easy it takes work. You might need to come right out of your comfort zone to find quality people. You might have to join a club or something i know that sounds fucking scary and it is, but you gotta understand one thing. Most of those people who join these clubs are looking for new quality people to and once you get over the hurdle of following through you'll most likely find out that you where silly for worrying so much. Weed will only make this process harder and im very knowledgeable when i say that, so trust me. It likes to make you believe things will just fall right in your lap and eventually fix themselves. Your in control of your happiness and your future nobody else and you gotta get that implanted in your mind in till you think no other way.

 

Hang out with those friends whom you called by letters and ask that their bully friends not be around when you do. Hit the gym and put on more muscle to be more intimidating because if you are a frail looking dude, you'll be picked on more often. Change your mental attitude as well, I'm aware this is not easy at all but you gotta be more positive; have a "I can do this" attitude. Hang in there and as you age, you'll see bullying of that type goes away. Focus on yourself and your future. Good luck dude.

 

People like that group together because alone, they are weak. We are animals, and it's primitive instinct. Cruel people can sniff out a good heart, so they gang up together to overpower you. Don't let anything keep you down, you are in control of your own life & the decisions you make. It's true, the older you get, the harder it is to meet new people because they've already got their friends or significant others or people judge you based off what other people say or by what you look like...

I don't know if you like Manga but I thought this was a pretty good read...
http://www.mangahere.co/manga/lookism/

It's relevant to your situation. I hope you keep your chin up...

 

if you let people shit on you without consequences they will continue to do that. Whenever they try to do that just punch them in the face with full force, you might get beat up once but they will stop knowing it's not worth having a broken face every time.

 

^ Don't do that, lol. Just find new friends... These guys aren't worth your time. In a few years, you'll be going to post secondary and starting a new life essentially anyway. Ride it out, don't resort to violence.. You'll just end up being one of them. It's obvious they are toxic in your life - why keep them around??

 

Get new friends. Your current friends might be trustworthy but they don't have your back. Which is kind of what friends are for in the first place. And how do you really know they are trustworthy? They seem to be easily influenced because they want to fit in (going along with the bully) so how do you really know they aren't giving up all your secrets?

 

My dad used to say handle you're business the first time and there won't be a second.
______________________________________________________________

 

Use the time you'd spend hanging out with them to try to earn some cash.

 

At your situation its a fight or flee. Fight and prove your not a guy to be fucked but do it smartly I found a way to exploit this by making the person feel that you'll go off in the tiniest bit of thing that starts to piss you off I'll give you a scenario IRL. You gotta wait for someone to say somthin to you that is offensive like "your retarded" and you start go aggressive on that and make a whole point out of it. By for example pushing him and saying who you calling retarded and keep pushing him he might fight back or just back off. Thing is you gotta keep your calm there. At the end of the night he'll spend the whole night thinking i shouldn't say that and he'll think twice before doing anything to you again. Flee is you just pretend that the bully's are beggers on the street. They crave for you attention and beg you so hard for your attention but you ARE NOT giving it to them no matter how you feel after they told you somthin remember they only see you from the outside not the inside if you smile right after they say somthin bad to you they'll think you have no feelings and move on from you


Edit: If none work you gotta abandon them and find new friends there are many people out there

 

The feels.

 

Maybe find something like MA, self defence which you will do in your free time and meet people there?

 

Interesting read, would be nice to receive an updated report from the OP whenever he's around.

 

Went through the same shit.
I know the solution. If anyone talks shit, hit them.
I know it's not easy, but once you go over the top, no one will fuck with you again.

 

Just to follow up on this, shit has got a lot better.
I stopped leaving my house unless with family for about a month until one time I was walking home from school with B and J and they said that I should link them and I thought to myself "If this turns out like it used to with me getting bullied It will just be a 1 time thing"

Once I met up with them I realised they stopped talking to the one kid who told me I should end it and even the people that would do it before stopped which made me realise that the one kid is the main culprit.

I do occasionally see the other guy but as he is too busy dealing to hang out with them I can finally go outside without fear that I will get thrown into a canal or my phone getting taken or a stone/log hitting me in the face

 

Find new friends and seek professional help.

 

Blood is thicker than water, why not tell your Mother or any siblings you have about your problem? They are always there to help.