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French terror alert! (joke)

Massacre

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AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that it
has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "surrender" and "collaborate." The increased alert was precipitated by
the recent fire which destroyed the French white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.






The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of
fireworks at Euro Disney.
The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located
just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to
surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
 
What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert?
Mirage

What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
How to surrender in at least 10 languages.

What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.

Why does Nike like the French Army?
Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.

Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?
It's not known, it's never been tried.

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
The army.

Where do you find 60 million French jokes?
In France

Why wouldn't the Statue of Liberty work in France? Because she has only one arm raised.

what's the difference between a Frenchman and a chimpansee ? - One of them is hairy, stinky, and scratches his ass all the time. The other is a chimpansee.

What do you call a french man killed defending his country? ... I don't know either, its never happened!

Why do we need France on our side against Sadamm and Osama? So the French can show them how to surrender.
 
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