Mormonism and what its done to me.

Hello there.

I'm dating a Mormon girl and have been for a year. I've always respected and even envied her ability to be so sure and to believe in something so completely. Now, this is where it gets hairy. She tried to convert me. I've been meeting with missionaries every week or so just to make her happy. However, they started pressuring me into doing it more quickly and becoming a baptized member of the church. OK, whatever. I continually put it off until one day...

She dumped me because she wants to get "sealed in the temple." If you are unaware of what this means, in Mormonism, if a couple is sealed in the temple, they are allowed to stay together even in the afterlife BUT both of the members of the couple have to be Mormon to be sealed inside a temple.

Now, I was understandably frustrated that she led me on so long and told me she loved me when it was obviously a lie. You don't leave the people you love. That's ridiculous. I know you want what you want but you should have never wanted me if this is what you expected. The words "I wish I had never met you" came to mind. Though, all I actually said was "Don't ever tell me you loved me" and it was done...

Until a few days later. She contacted me and said "If we're still together and prepared to get married in years, religion wouldn't matter. Mormon people marry non-Mormons all the time. I was being selfish and I was being a monster. I'm not about to give up on you."

Cool. Though, I decided she still shouldn't tell me she loved me. I told her that it means something different to me than what you've been meaning it as. You don't love me, yet and I'd rather not be reminded of a lie every time I hear you say it. (I realize I was being a dick and should have just...allowed her to say what she wants. She's having a severe inner conflict and that would have been the time to be understanding, not selfish.)

Now...ever since that's happened...I've been a dick. I've treated her as if I could stand to be away from her; I can't. I treated her as if what she did was atrocious; it wasn't. It's a core aspect of her religion...family. I'm supposed to be understanding.

Okay, so yesterday we had another fight, or argument, about her dating me exclusively. Members of the LDS church are not supposed to date one person for too long. They aren't supposed to be with one person until they're ready to consider marriage. It serves no purpose to them. So now, she decided that she's going to follow the church once again and not date me.

I called her.

She changed her mind again. Maybe because I'm a sad little man who needs his girl but she insists it was because she loves me and she believes our relationship to be an exception to the rule. I told her to make her decision, finally. Make a decision once and for all if you'd like to be with me and I'll understand whatever decision you make. I'll be okay if it's less than what I want and I'll be ecstatic if it is. It's your decision.

Now...here I am. Waiting for her decision. Typing on a cheating forum about an experience no one likely cares about. But it was nice to fluently and entirely express my feeling. It seems as if when I speak to my friends about it, I can't put it into words. I can't express the feeling. A whole night I've been waiting.

Thanks for reading!

 

This was a rather weird read. I once dated a mormon girl and something very similar happened.

By the sounds of it she is 100% undecided on what to do. Maybe it is time for you to explore other women avaliable to you.

Personally I find the Mormon religion a bit of a joke and would find it very hard to put up with for the rest of my life but obviously you are more open towards it. What you are doing though is asking her to choose you or her faith which is a bit unfair, you should have just let it play out and seen what came from it.

I wish the best to you though and you get the outcome you want. Let us know!

 

Having completely different beliefs is not a good thing for a relationship. By the way it sounds you are skeptical of her religion, which will only cause problems for you guys later on. If you don't truly want to convert to Mormonism, don't fake it. This will also cause you issues later on. My advice would be to just move on, I know it may be hard if you love her, but a relationship just is not worth it if you have so many outstanding problems.

 

Lol mormons, good luck with it cause i would never be able to date a religion fanatic, I dont know how you put up with it

 

Unless you think there is a chance of getting her away from the religion, get out of there. You're just wasting your time. I'm assuming she has a large mormon family too? I have been raised mormon and you will never be accepted unless you are mormon yourself. Girls in the mormon church are raised being taught their whole lives that there one main important goal in life is to have a temple marriage. By the sounds of things you don't want to commit yourself to the religion, so if you can't offer temple marriage then there is really no point pursuing her.

 

Not asking her to choose. Asking her if she wants me. Having me doesn't mean she'll have to ditch her religion. I don't want her to ditch her religion. It's a part of who she is.

@John I firmly believe in predetermined and entire love and how the feeling trumps all. If she loves me, she'll accept the fact that she can't marry me in the temple, and if I truly love her I'll try my hardest to give her what she wants.

 

Ahh man, I feel you. I'm from SLC, UT and I'm not mormon, so i have not run into the same thing, but things that are similar.

All I really can say is that time will tell. You must know that her family is obviously pushing her away from you due to the fact that most mormons are what I refer to as "sheep". They do what they are told. She, I feel, truly wants you, but because of the pressures her family and religion are putting on her it is taking away from her true feelings. Eventually she will make up her mind. Mormonism isn't a bad religion at all, and I feel that it is one of the better ones in this world.


Btw, where are you from / dating this girl?

 

We're engaged now. It worked out.

 

Damn, this sounds complicated.

I don't believe it's fair at all for her to force her religion on you. You've maybe made some wrong decisions in arguments but people speak to hurt when they're hurt themselves.

If you do end up getting back together, you should make it clear that you're not going to stand for what her religion forces upon you. Be clear you don't mind her believing. But when it involves some requirement from you like " sealed in a fucking tomb " or whatever it was, It's not fair.

Anyway, as my experience lacks in this sort of situation I can only wish you the best of luck, hopefully you get what you want

Just read the last post, Congrats!