Help with my parents.

Sometimes, I just want to punch my mom and dad in the face, sometimes they irritate me to the point where I want to leave, and in the past I've left to stay at friends or all night internet cafe's. The reason for this is because, they try to force conversation, and get really ticked off when I don't respond, why don't I respond? It's always something to do with "good grades" or "how to do better in life" I know it's because they care, but honestly, I've had the same or similar conversation too many times, they never understand that enough is simply enough. As a result, we fight a lot, mainly it starts from a small reason, then builds up, my mom screams at me while my dad tries to keep his calm. Honestly I'll admit, I've hit both my parent's a few times, but it is never without provocation (2-3 hours of being yelled at) to be completely honest, I'm not a violent person, I don't like to fight, but like I mentioned earlier, enough is enough. Please help me, I have no idea what to do :\

 

How old are you?

 

Do you really think it's unjustified....? If you have bad grades you'll get yelled at if you have GOOD grades you won't get yelled at it. It's simple.

 

My grades are decent, B average with Some A's and C's..... a huge improvement over my old grades (mainly c's couple of d's) I have no idea why that "is not good enough" nothing is ever "good enough" for my parents.

 

You hit your parents? Are you serious? You are lucky your parents didn't disown you on the spot.

Your parents don't want to see you throw away your life and it is especially hard if you are an only child such as myself. You are literally carrying on their legacy, imagine being a parent and your son is lost at what he's going to do and eventually he ends up being a nothing and just living with you for the rest of your life? How do you think your parents feel? You don't even take into the account stuff like, when they are out with friends; they would cracking jokes like "Oh hey, has your son found a job yet". Picture that happening to you, would you not tell your kid to step up and know what he's doing with his life?

The biggest issue I find for anyone is have only short term goals. Granted you may be young, but that doesn't excuse for you to not have a ultimate goal. I'm assuming you are in high school or university. Grades are one thing, but tell them something you want them to hear until you do find something. Say you want to be a pilot; the only thing you need is a Bachelor's Degree, you could of just barley passed, but that doesn't mean anything as it's only the degree that matters, if you hate schooling, find something that just requires minimum education, there are a ton of opportunities out there and you are just lying to me (and yourself) if you are about the economy and bs like that.

Of course, if you want to do even further education, then of course the best grades are needed. But I'm assuming you don't have a set profession yet, but it's always something you should consider. I always told my parents what I plan on doing and always asked their thoughts. Their input does two things; it keeps them off your back and it shows that you are mature enough to think for yourself (regardless whether you do actually decide to go to that profession).

 

From my point of view, the grades are irrelevant. If you are genuinely doing your best, there's nothing more - as parents - they can ask for. Of course, this is two-fold in the sense that if you aren't trying your best - which of course they will realise - they'll want to ensure that you do. I guess it all boils down to communication, or in your case a lack of. You mention the forced conversations, why not try talking to them about the little things; such as how your day was, just to break the ice, so to speak. If you're uncomfortable or fed up with what they're talking to you about, try and bring up things that you want to talk about, I'm sure it'll help your case.

As a final point, if ever you get to the stage where you feel you're going to assault your parents, or even you feel the situation is just getting a little heated, just remove yourself from the situation, perhaps have a walk, listen to some music, and calm down.

 

be a plumber or builder or carpenter, it's more hands on than education and as for helping, what everyone else said pretty much Good Luck with talking to you parents (that's not a sarcastic comment by the way )

 

It sounds to me like you need some sort of "release", or a way to vent your feelings and your anger/frustration as it builds up. Hitting your parents is not a good way to react obviously, and neither is running away from home constantly or screaming back at them until your face is blue and your lungs hurt.

I would highly suggest maybe looking into speaking with a school counsellor or getting some kind of a therapy, where you can speak to somebody one on one about your problems at home, how your parent's expect too many things out of you, or how they constantly push you to do things "better" or "work harder". It may even be worth confronting your parents about these issues if you think it would be possible to have a calm, civilized conversation with them without screaming/yelling, and if you think they would respond positively.

Another idea would be to start doing something that would help you to vent or release that negative energy. Start writing and keeping a journal, so that you have a constructive outlet to channel all your negative energy and feelings into, and so that you can sort through your thoughts and frustrations privately and in a non-violent way. Or perhaps you could start going to the gym? Another great outlet is exercise. Go beat yourself up on a treadmill for a couple hours or life some weights and do some matt exercises or attend a Yoga class.

Although none of these ideas will directly solve the problems with your parents (that part will take alot of time, and negotiating with your parents), they will hopefully help you to relax a little bit, and cope with all the frustration and anger you feel. Except it won't get a chance to build up until you explode because you will be able to vent

 

You have good parents if they still try even after you've hit them. But really.. you hit them because they yelled at you too much? If thats the case you should take anger management courses. Your parents want the best for you, which is why they want you to get good grades. Words never justify physical violence.

 

Hitting your parents is never justifiable, especially in your case. I understand what it is like to feel overwhelmed by their expectations, but that should never be a reason for physically attacking them. You need to understand that all they're trying to do is help you, no matter how "unfair" they may seem. The best you can do is listen to them, and if you really don't care about what they have to say, just nod your head and pretend to agree.
When the day comes that you realize they've been right all along, you're going to deeply regret the tension you caused between you and them.
If they're having the same conversation with you time and time again, it's more than likely because you haven't been putting forth as much effort as you could be. My mom tells me the exact same thing, "try and go beyond what you're capable of, extend your goals, aim for greater things, etc., etc.", and she's right. I know that I don't put forth my best effort a lot of time, not because I can't, but because I simply don't want to. And it hurts my parents to see me moving through life with such low expectations for myself. I realize that I need to better myself, and that's something you need to do as well. There will come a time when you will regret not listening to their advice. Unfortunately for me, that time is slowly creeping up on me, and I've been waiting too long to take the initiative to do something about it. I've still got time, but it's going to be more difficult the longer I wait.
So please, for your own sake, listen to your parents.