can i write anything i want here?

just was wondering can i write anything here ?? if i can

i want to tell u the story of my life


In 1999 I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Accounting. Yeah, if this story begins in 1999, then I guess the hopes of it actually being a short story aren't that good. But hey, it's my blog. Anway, since I was the first person in my family to accomplish this goal, and since I had 2 small children at the time (IK was 4 and EJ was 2 when I graduated) it was a very wonderful sense of accomplishment in my life.

Of course, now that I was no longer enrolled in school, we had to move out of married student housing (read: extremely cheap rent with utilities included) and find a new place to live. We decided to buy our very first home, which we still live in today, almost 10 years later. Our house seemed so much larger back then!

Anyway, because I needed to help support our family I found a job right away working in Accounting as an entry level staff accountant for the headquarters of a large national retail corporation. They offered me a very nice starting salary for this area (and for a young, 23 year old poor kid brand spankin’ new out of college). The job was supposed to require minimal, up to 10% occasional travel…they put me on a plane on the second day of work, which should have been my first clue!

I worked there for over 4 years. I loved my job, I loved the people I worked with, and the work I performed. I felt important, empowered, and a huge sense of accomplishment. But during that time the CEO of the company retired and new senior management took over…and then everything changed! I went from having a job I loved at a company I was proud to say I worked for…to a job I hated at a company I was ashamed of. Why?

Because the changes resulted in countless hours of overtime all throughout the year (which, let’s face it, is only fun when you’re paid hourly not salaried), the occasional travel became constant, and the unethical treatment of associates I witnessed was horrific (and that’s putting it mildly).

I had my third child, LA, in 2002 and was pressured into returning early from maternity leave for the pressing needs of my job, which were always made clear as being far more important than anything else in life.

I still loved the people I worked with, and the kind of work I performed…but I didn’t love the reality that in order to do my job it continuously required me to sacrifice all my family time with SD and our kids. I could either be an excellent employee, or I could be an excellent mom, but not both.

You know how sometimes you don’t realize how important something is to you until it’s taken away? It wasn’t until I obtained a job that took me away from my kids that I realized just how important being a mom really is to me. I realized I didn’t have 3 children to never see them, and the situation broke my heart on a daily basis. I cried as I drove into work every morning because I so desperately missed SD and our children.

As it turned out, LA was the kind of baby who was chronically sick in daycare…if it was out there, she caught it, and during the first year of her life she never seemed to be well. She had ear tubes surgery at 12 months old after chronic ear infections that never went away. And at 13 months she was hospitalized for Rotavirus for a week.

I was still nursing her and stayed with her in the hospital. After she was released, only 2 weeks later she ended up back in the hospital for another week with RSV and Pneumonia. It was at that point I knew I had to do something…not just for my broken heart and how much I missed my kids, but also for the sake of my daughter’s health.

I tried several times to find a different job, something that did not require travel and very long hours, but had no luck. I happen to live in a small town, where the majority of the population commutes to a nearby larger town, and there are very few decent paying jobs to be found without commuting.

Knowing something still had to be done for the sake of my daughter’s health, I decided to pray and take a HUGE leap of faith.

(to be continued…)


ps: it's not me..