Troubled Sister

My sister grew up a normal, socially active, and fairly popular. In 12th grade though, she started to party alot and with partying, comes the drugs and the alcohol. Her grades began to freefall, and she finished off her senior year with D's. My parents were not pleased, but they were satisfied with the fact she was going to go to college. Once summer began, the partying did not stop. Only a week into summer, she came home from a party in the early morning hours, plastered and high, and she drove home to top it off. My parents lost their mind, understandably, and put her on lockdown, and issued many threats. A few days later, as I was gaming, I was being a bit too loud on ventrilo while playing Call of Duty, and my parents came up to tell me to shut up and go to sleep, but they noticed my Sister was still up. They checked on her, and she was sitting on her bed smoking pot. I never heard my parents flip shit harder than that night.

My sister was kicked out, and when I texted her, genuinely upset, she said she didnt give a fuck about our parents, and she knew what she was doing. I begged her to come home, and she just ignored me. She finally hit rock bottom after staying with a friend at her an apartment, an after some sort of fight, she called the cops on her friend, and the cops arrested HER for public intoxication and disturbing the peace. My parents bailed her out, and said they did not want to see her again. My sister has since been working at Michaels, a hobby store earning 8 bucks an hour living in a shit apartment. I felt so bad for her, I recently met up with her, and had a nice, emotional filled meal with her. She asked if she could borrow my car for the night. I let her, and just requested, half jokingly, half serious she didn't total it.

She drove up to my house today, and there was vomit all over the seat and steering wheel, and she said she was so sorry. Side note: My car is a 2011 Challenger SRT8 with 4000 miles on it, a gift from my parents that I plan on owning for a VERY long time. I told her to piss off and leave, amongst many other things. She left in tears. Upon searching the car, sure enough, I found an empty bottle of smirnoff in the back. I figure im lucky that all it was was vomit, and not a wrecked piece of metal.

What do I do...She is my sister, but she has fucked my parents over many times, and now me, and she is still trying to contact me, saying she is so sorry. Should I give her another chance? Straight up ignore her forever?

 

You should forgive her, she is your sister after all. If I was if your shoes, I'd be furious with my sister, but you need to think about "for how long?". You cannot stay mad at her forever, you may as well do forgive her sooner.

However if she's genuinely sorry, you should help her straighten her shit out. By that, tell her to straighten up and get back on track, stop the partying, drugs and alcohol. Or at least reduce it. It's not too late for her to change. Because if she can pull through you know that something like this won't happen again. You would be helping her at the same time.

 

Do whatever you can to try and get her to quit, it will obviously be hard work. But if you don't she we probably just get worse.

 

I would get things sorted as soon as possible. Incase she moves on to harder drugs/does anything to get them (not being offensive). Best thing to do is just to blurt it out I think. just go right out and say about how you feel and that she should stop. Anyway, I hope it all goes well

 

Whatever you do DO NOT IGNORE YOUR SISTER. Your family is important to you no matter what. Try to get this resolved but don't ignore her!

 

I wouldnt ignore her, but i wouldnt let her take advantage of you either. She seems to be playing both sides of the book. Look what she put her parents through. Now that your parents left her completely alone she's come to you. She a trainwreck and needs to wake up.

The hard part is telling whether or not she's really sorry or just wants to use you. Get advice from your parents and see what they think. Theyre more experienced, mature and have a better eye on the situation since she is their daughter.

 

Your sister has been given lots of chances by your parents, etc. You also gave her one last chance with your car and she ruined he last chance by screwing up your car and now she is begging for forgiveness but honestly IMO you should not forgive her for what she has done, she has used all of her chances up.

 

It is always a scary thing when a close friend or family member begins a descent into drug & alcohol dependancy. Your sister reminds me alot of myself and similar things that I went through with my family during my senior year of highschool, and the subsequent years spent supporting myself.

Unfortunately, your sister is not going to stop her wild antics until she hits a bottom for herself. This does NOT mean what YOU think is a bottom (her getting arrested, etc). This is her own bottom, something that needs to happen to her to make her realize that she must clean up her act and get some help. Until that point, it is unlikely - though not impossible - that she will just "stop" everything she is doing. With that said though, I would not give up on her if I were you. She is your sister, and she needs you.

The best thing you can do for her at this point, is to offer her help, support, and guidance, without enabling her behaviour or drug & alcohol use. This means staying in regular contact, listening to her if she needs somebody to talk to, offering her your help, support, advice. But do not enable her - do not give her privledges, such as borrowing your car, until she has earned your trust again. Do not lend her money, or help her do ANYTHING you feel would be contributing to the problem. There is a huge difference between refusing to help somebody destroy themselves, and refusing to help that person at all.

So make it very clear to your sister that you are there to help her, but you will NOT help her in any way that contributes to her destruction.

 

You should give her another chance bro and fix her up talk to her seriously about what shes currently doing in her life and what its going to lead up to make her
think about it and she'll realise and take care of her bro.

 

SHE IS YOUR SISTER DUDE.
WAS, IS, WILL ALWAYS BE.
NO MATTER WHAT.
She's got serious alcohol problems. If you let her fall appart, she wont get better but drink more. Will only make things worse. I suggest you make up with her.

My sister and I have fights, like brothers, but we always make up.

 

Weather you give her a second chance or just cut her out is up to you, but you also have to understand that sometimes its let go or be dragged. Imagine if she totaled your car. she wouldnt be able to pay for that and now you are with out a car. its better to avoid the situation as a whole

 

Try to make it right, you might be mad at her now, but once you never see her anymore you'll know how much you love her.
She might have problems, but try to help her, she needs help.

 

All i can say is... for the past year i lived on my own in a shit flat, with a job 40hours a week £5 an hour...

i wasnt speaking to my family, or seen them. my mother moved away with my brothers n sister whilst my dad moved town. for one year i was a druggy, taking ectasy, ketamine, coke, lsd, shrooms. pot.

spending time with your sister is what she needs, as she is less likely to do it in your company and she'll appreciatte the support!

i started speakin to my dad and we started to get along better now ive moved in, and stopped drugs as i can see what i was when i lived on my own! what she needs is support! DONT GIVE UP ON HER..

Family is far more important than a car

 

All you can do is try to help her, she is your sister and although doesn't deserve as many chances as possible, if you feel obligated to help her do so.

 

family above all

 

I know how you feel. I have brothers that climbed up the drug ladder, one of them died and the other one is full of problems. To be honest you have to learn to give up help like your parents. My parents wont because they lost a son and they think if they give up on this one they'll lose him too. They give him money and he goes out and gambles or buys drugs with it.
Truth is, you have to put her out of your life, block her on your social networks, don't pick up or return her calls unless it is an emergency. Once she hits so far that her friends have left her and that she is leading herself down a deadly path she will look for help.

 

Imo she hasn't done anything even close to deserving you and your parents disowning her. She has an alcohol problem and puked in your car. So what? Get her in rehab. Its not like she murdered your mother. Family is supposed to help through situations like this but you guys turn your back on her when she is in need of help.

 

I know from experience that in times like these, you gotta stick together. You love your sister it seems like, and she has a huge problem. Man you gotta get her in rehab. Because the problem will snowball, and do you really want that to happen to her? It's like this friendship I've had for a while. The other friend can't be a good friend because she doesnt know how. I'm there for her, even if she doesn't treat me well. If you genuinely love her, do the same.

 

You need to be a good brother and help your sister out. Take her to rehab and make her stop drinking.