Post your raps or give me feedback on mine

I just made this last night in about 45 minutes. Feel free to use anything.
It's more of a hard flow w/o a chorus

Yeah mr. i'm so fly
waitin' till the hoes try my;
want it, i got it; crisp like gotti, decked nickel nine
can't even touch mine

Huh- birds flockin’ to me
I make ‘em go down like muhammad ali
Nigga your bitch gon’ ride me like the polar express
Send ‘er on the way, n’ ups her ass -- double check that address

I move with a swagga, crooked ass smile bandana
pockets deep - gleamin’ ice, rhymes just getting’ granda
Run up on me nigga I got three in the coupe
Still dre motha fucka? Your ass ain’t even snoop

Gimme a beat nigga all I need is a rhyme
When the fuck a nigga get shot they ever call it a crime
I’ll have you six feet deep ain’t even usin’ a n9ne
Some call it straight thuggin’ I call it droppin’ a line

Shit whatever the case nigga you’ll drop from the sky
I’ll be livin’ life high, won’t even see me fly by
You worry bout yo girl, buick, beemer n’ ya Bentley
Nigga when you gone shit don’t nothin’ matta- nigga I’ll cry as I laugh as you die off gently

 

that shit was lame b....but its also hard to feel some1s flow w/o hearin them.

 

Sick shit.

 

check mine out, www.soundclick.com/doutz

 

Myridion, you're a piece of shit
Trying to rap, but you fail at it!
I'll give you a chance to battle me now
so, give it a try you fucking craow! (crow) hihi

 

nice!!