A Song I Wrote in English =P

Hey Sythe, I got bored at school today, so i wrote a song. Tell me what you think of it:

Days go by, around the globe
People walk by, I'm all alone--
Down the lonely streets, I go
Up or down, it don't matter, no--

CHORUS

Because no matter what I try to do,
All I do is think of you,
You're just like like that Summer Swan,
That flies away, slips away, goes away,
into that blue-shed sky--

Now that I think back to you,
All I get are strips of the truth,
But the truth will be told,
Even if I grow old,
I will always think of you,
As that beautiful summer swan of youth--

CHORUS

Because no matter what I try to do,
All I do is think of you,
you're just like that Summer Swan,
That flies away, slips away, goes away,
into that blue-shed sky--

If only....
If I could live life again,
I would have chose it differently,
I would have picked an eternity,
with you---

Even if I don't know you--

All I got so far =[ BTW THIS IS NOT A RAP. XD
Some constructive criticism would be nice.

 

Not to bad 7/10

 

Sounds good mate, try and make a beat that you could sing it too aswell.

 

Pretty nice song that you composed during English
Good job.