I just read the entire thing. And it reminds me of this song by Fort Minor. The concept is similar to the first part. Where you go -Fort Minor. try it out. As i'm trying to compare the first and second parts the concepts seems to change. The 2nd part is more towards telling the person you love her and wont forget her. But the first part however actually points out how she might not like the person and might actually never be there for him. That's how i interpret it. I believe the first part is alot more worked on tho with more "stuff" there. Overall the poem is filled of meaning and i like it!
I did a fast plagiarism check because I couldn't believe you really wrote that yourself. Some parts are really amazing, no doubt. Favorite. We want more, by the way.
I'll give my feedback here since I don't meet the postcount requirement of the Spam Forum: If I understand the content of your poem it's the opposit of the previous one, you're actually expressing how you dislike someone (let's hope it's fiction : D). I like it, again. The ending is my favorit part this time. You should really go on with this stuff. Oh and please, sing it and place it on youtube like Gurtaton already suggested. That would be awesome man! Go for it.
