Am I responsible for creating conversation?

[TheDarkExistence]

Hi again guys...I'm pretty stuck about this one. The girl I'm going out with is shy, right? That means that she has random spurts of talkitiveness, then otherwise she doesn't really give more than one-two worded answers. So, considering that, it makes me feel like I'm the one responsible for starting conversations and to be honest it's extremely stressful. I never have time to focus on complimenting her or anything properly, because I'm so focused on keeping a spoken connection between the two of us. Feels like we ALWAYS need to be talking, even if it's about completely nothing. But sometimes, I'm completely stumped. Personally, I'd love a relationship that doesn't revolve around talking, where we'd both mutually be able to have a loving silence type thing.

Anyway, do you guys think that I should be responsible for starting every conversation? Or should I leave it up to her sometimes too and not force myself to say things...Because really, a lot of stuff comes out stupidly.

 

[Burdock`]

Try deviate from talking.. Joking around pulling faces, picking up stuff around you..

I do it quite abit. Works alright. I know how you feel though, I was texting this Dyslexic girl, who I really quite liked, but - through no fault of her own - she couldn't string a sentence together in a text.. She was amazing to be with, but at 17 a lot of a relationship is based on texting, msn, etc..

It drove me crazy.

 

[Snow Patrol]

If that's her personality, than it seems like you're the one who's going to have to spark up conversation to avoid awkward silences. Start off with subtle topics and easy conversation topics like "How was your day" or "What do you have planned for tomorrow" and base your conversation of things like that.

 

Honestly I wouldn't feel to stressed about it. Those spurts you're talking about is when something sparked her interest, so try to remember what kind of subjects they were for future discussions. As for talking all the time, you don't need to do that either unless you feel that the silence is getting to be too unbearably awkward

 

[wiredgaming]

It sounds like you talk too much if anything and she has just given up and it waiting for you to stop. Maybe ask her what she would like to talk about or what she would like to do. This would allow you to do things which dont involve talking about crap and spend more quality time without being stressed over what to say next.

 

[Glyder]

It sounds like you talk too much if anything and she has just given up and it waiting for you to stop. Maybe ask her what she would like to talk about or what she would like to do. This would allow you to do things which dont involve talking about crap and spend more quality time without being stressed over what to say next.

This fixed A LOT of my relationship issues with friends/loved ones, it actually is one of the best things to do since, well it is a very common issue.

 

[Parox]

Sometimes it's good to stop talking and just look at her in the eyes and smile.

 

[xi momo xi]

Hi again guys...I'm pretty stuck about this one. The girl I'm going out with is shy, right? That means that she has random spurts of talkitiveness, then otherwise she doesn't really give more than one-two worded answers. So, considering that, it makes me feel like I'm the one responsible for starting conversations and to be honest it's extremely stressful. I never have time to focus on complimenting her or anything properly, because I'm so focused on keeping a spoken connection between the two of us. Feels like we ALWAYS need to be talking, even if it's about completely nothing. But sometimes, I'm completely stumped. Personally, I'd love a relationship that doesn't revolve around talking, where we'd both mutually be able to have a loving silence type thing.

Anyway, do you guys think that I should be responsible for starting every conversation? Or should I leave it up to her sometimes too and not force myself to say things...Because really, a lot of stuff comes out stupidly.

Personally, I find the shy side of girls funny, if you're not at all shy, I suggest playing it your advantage.

Try for instance, next time there's that silence you mentioned.. Make eye contact, and hold it, and smile at her, eventually she will budge and blush/giggle at you, which is adorable, and might help her loosen up a bit..

Either way, just kid around with her, make her feel like you don't care about her being shy, and she eventually won't be shy

 

[Jimmy J]

I suggest putting in her possittions where she needs to say more than 1 word answers. Try making her laugh etc, that should make her loosen up a bit.