Am I a terrible person ?

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Am I a terrible person ?
  1. Unread #1 - Nov 2, 2010 at 7:05 AM
  2. James
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    I came home from school and my mother asked me to sit down.
    She had some terrible news she said.
    "Oh for fuck sakes I got fired just before my christmas bonus" - I thought.
    But the told me that;

    A good friend of my younger sister, A neighbour I have known all my life.
    Got hit by a bus today right in front of my sister.

    (I do not know some of the correct medical terms in english so bare with me or tell me what they are)
    She's now on the ICU in a childrens hospital and her brains are bleeding.
    When I was told by my mother my sister nearly started crying again.

    And I really felt nothing.
    Aren't normal people supposed to feel like.. Something, at all?

    Please keep in mind I do 'suffer' from autism.

    Oh and any stupid comments will be infracted.
    Please keep this thread serious.
     
  3. Unread #2 - Nov 2, 2010 at 7:28 AM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    Hey yaroow. Under all circumstances I would not say that you are a terrible person. The reason that you probably don't feel sad/remorseful for the accident that has happened is because if I read correctly, you weren't really all that familiar with the person that was in the accident. You may have known some of the basic information about this person such as there name, but you never truly got to know the person on a different "more loving" level.

    If this is not the case of why you are not being affected by the accident, it may also be something deeper. It could be possible that you feel that you should be the "bigger man" for your family. What I mean by this is that you could be trying to show no pain for the accident that has happened, because you fear that if you show the pain and remorse for what has happened that your family could think of you as a lesser person. Possibly you are not even trying to act this way, but actually that it just comes by instinct.

    Also this might sound like kind of a cheesy thing to say, but I remember watching a George Lopez show a while back, and in the show one of the kids grandparent dies. If I'm not mistaken the kid feels the same way as you (feels no pain for what has happened) and actually in a way feels bad for not feeling bad.

    Anyways I hope that this helps, and if you need help with anything else just ask.
     
  5. Unread #3 - Nov 2, 2010 at 7:39 AM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    No, not at all.
    It's quite possable that you are really sad, you just don't know it yet.
    I loved my grandparents very much, when they died I did not cry at all and i don't think of myself as a bad person.
    Some people express feelings more than others, obviously you are someone who holds in their feelings.

    Do you even know her that well?
    If you are not very fond of the person being hurt, then your not going to cry or feel sad. Millions of people get injured and die each day but you do not cry or feel sad for them.
     
  7. Unread #4 - Nov 2, 2010 at 8:12 AM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    I've seen so much in life that almost nothing makes me cry. I used to cry when I saw others in pain, but now, nothing at all. I think you have been through some painful experiences in past, so you've detached yourself from the emotion of pain. It's a defense mechanism humans use to save themselves from emotional turmoil.
     
  9. Unread #5 - Nov 2, 2010 at 8:32 AM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    I wouldn't call you a terrible person for not feeling anything for someone that you weren't extremely close to.

    There's even a possibility you just didn't know how to react.
     
  11. Unread #6 - Nov 2, 2010 at 9:01 AM
  12. James
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    I have been browsing the spam forum for so long that it's strange to see 'normal' responses, Thanks guys.
     
  13. Unread #7 - Nov 2, 2010 at 10:18 AM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    it could be related, but when boys reach the age of about 13-14, generally, they supress all emotions, mainly because to be emotional is seen to be less masculine. This may be a contributing factor

    You're not a bad person, With your autism and emotion supressing, Its not surprisingly you don't feel overwhelmingly sad, alot of people can just stay strong.
     
  15. Unread #8 - Nov 2, 2010 at 10:40 AM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    Nope... Same boat as you, someone can tell me the same thing and I'll be like "ok." Very little things bother me considering what I've seen throughout my life. Shit happens, you move on. Sulking on the past won't do anything for anyone so I refuse to care about such little matters.

    I respect the fact that the other person is distraught/upset/etc. (your sister in this case) but still, I don't really feel anything about the occurrence.

    You're fine :).
     
  17. Unread #9 - Nov 2, 2010 at 10:42 AM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    That's how I am to be honest and I feel where your coming from man I guess it could just be that you didn't know her really so you really just don't know what you should feel ...You could just emotionally stable and not like to express yourself through like crying .
     
  19. Unread #10 - Nov 2, 2010 at 12:39 PM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    It's normal not to feel anything for someone you only know indirectly. Have you ever really talked to this neighbour in the past?
     
  21. Unread #11 - Nov 3, 2010 at 9:09 AM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    Yea im the same way man, you're perfectly normal.
     
  23. Unread #12 - Nov 3, 2010 at 11:58 AM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    No you are not a terrible person.

    Things happen that you can't do much about. I understand where you're coming from but just because you didn't express it emotionally does not make you a bad person.

    My advice to you is to be there for your mother, that way she knows you care about what happened and you care about your mothers feelings. You don't need to do much, just sit with her if you ever see her alone and hug her while telling her how much you love her.

    You know my MSN if you ever want to talk about this. Best of luck man, and you aren't a bad person <3
     
  25. Unread #13 - Nov 3, 2010 at 12:32 PM
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    I myself am like that, unless im extremely close to said person, i wont feel a thing.

    Unless you were close to this person ( Just becuase you've known her forever doesnt mean your close ) i wouldnt see why you would feel something.

    Some people also try to block out emotions in general, and that might be you.
     
  27. Unread #14 - Nov 3, 2010 at 6:46 PM
  28. Evan Wears Prada
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    Am I a terrible person ?

    No you aren't a terrible person, things happen like that all the time, you weren't close to the girl or anything like that so it's not bad for you not to feel bad, and everyone takes bad news differently.
     
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