Parental issues

For all of my life (I'm 16) my mother has been my only real parent. I saw my father rarely and I didn't have that strong of a bond with him.

This year, near the end of July (ironically on my birthday), he contacted my sister. My sister and father were beyond attached. She willingly accepted him back into her life, but I actually knew what he's said and done.

A week from now, she is going to visit him in Texas. I don't trust my dad, and my sister will not listen to anything. She told me she hates me, and I know she meant it, when I confronted her. My mom just left.

His reasoning for not paying child support and staying completely out of our lives for almost 10 years was that he "was in a dark place". He owes my family almost $70,000 from the last time I checked.

I'm at a loss for words and ideas in this situation. I don't want my sister to go and see him, I don't trust my father or his girlfriend, who probably caused a majority of this from what I've gleaned.

What the hell do I do?

 

Ultimately, it's her decision. She may not really want to go see him and may be doing it in spite of you.
In order to try and stop her from going, I suggest you confront her once more. Tell her what you think, how you feel about the situation, and why she shouldn't go. If she doesn't listen, contact your father and explain the situation. Even if you don't like him, he may call the whole thing off of respect. Being absent for someones entire life, I can see why there could be relationship issues.
Those are the best two things you could do (from my knowledge) about the situation. If she wants to go, let her. She can learn from this; whether it be a big mistake, or one of the best decisions she's made.


One question though, how old is your sister/have you considered going down to Texas with her?

 

pm'd you

 

My dad is literally god to her, so she's not doing it out of spite. She's 23, almost 24.

All she wants is for him to be back in her life, but with his shady motives and uncharacteristic explanation of why he was not involved, I'm suspicious. She isn't at all, she's completely blind to the situation.

 

It is your sister's decision. However, if it was me, I'd follow my sister just in case something goes wrong. You don't have to stay at your dad's house, but stay in a motel close by.

I'm sorry, but I can't give better advice unless I know what you're afraid your dad would do to your sister? Abuse her? Ask her to abandon you and you mom and stay with him?

 

Because your sister is over 18, she can go where she wants to go. If you feel that your father is somehow going to change her, just tell her to remind herself of what he has put your family through. If you think that she is in serious physical danger, I would follow her down to Texas and stay at a place nearby.

 

As most have said, it's your sister's decision. With that being said if she does decide to go and you really do not trust your father the best solution (assuming attempting to talk it out does not work) is to go with her. This way if things do go bad you can be there to comfort/protect your sister.

I hope you work things out. Also don't forgot that people can change, perhaps you should make an attempt to find out if your father is different, not rush into a relationship but take the first step.

 

Its Her Choice and You would be wrong to dictate to her what she should and shouldent do I would just leave it and let her make her own choices.

 

You can't choose you're family. If it's been so long I would just let her go. No matter how much of a bad person he is. He is still your father and I would just think long and hard about the situation. On the other hand it has been ten years so he might end up changing for the good. If he dropped dead now and you not seeing him for ten years? How would you feel?