Reported Post by SwiftSeller

SwiftSeller · Jun 23, 2009

SwiftSeller has reported a post.

Reason:

I take it as being kinda racist. Dont you?
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Post: becauseimblack.com
Forum: General Discussion / Off Topic
Assigned Moderators: DropKick Murphys

Posted by: basterache3
Original Content:

Well, looked at this site as a joke, and found a good link on the lower left. "What if there were no Black folks"

BlackFolk said:

This is a story of a little boy named Theo, who woke up one morning and asked Mom
"What if there were no black people in the world?"

Well, Mom thought about that for a moment and then said, "Son, follow me around
today and let's just see what it would be like if there were no black people in the world.
Get dressed and we will get started."

Theo ran to his room to put on his clothes and shoes. But there were no shoes, and his
clothes were all wrinkled. He looked for the iron, but when reached for the ironing
board, it was no longer there. You see Sarah Boone, a Black woman, invented the
ironing board and Jan E. Matzelinger, a Black man invented the shoe lasting machine.

"Oh well", Mom said, "Go and do your hair." Theo ran in his room to comb his hair, but
the comb was not there. You see, Walter Sammons, a Black man, invented the comb.
Theo decided to just brush his hair, but the brush was gone You see Lydia O. Newman,
a Black female invented the brush.

Well, he was a sight, no shoes, wrinkled clothes, hair a mess without the hair care
inventions of Madam C. J. Walker, ...well, you get the picture. Mom told Theo,
"Lets do the chores around the house and then take a trip to the grocery store."

Theo's job was to sweep the floor. He swept and swept and swept. When he reached
for the dustpan, it was not there. You see LIoyd P. Ray, a Black man, invented the
dustpan. So he swept his pile of dirt over in the corner and left it there. He then
decided to mop the floor, but the mop was gone. You see, Thomas W. Stewart, a
Black man, invented the mop.

Theo thought to himself, "I'm not having any luck." "Well, son," Mom said. "We should
wash the clothes and prepare a list for the grocery store. When he was finished, Theo
went to place the clothes in the dryer, but it was not there. You see, George T. Samon,
a Black man, invented the clothes dryer. Theo got a pencil and some paper to prepare
the list for the market, but noticed that the pencil lead was broken as well, he was out
of luck because John Love, a Black man, invented the pencil sharpener. He reached
for a pen, but it was not there because William Purvis, a Black man, invented the
fountain pen. As a matter of fact, Lee Burridge invented the type writing machine, and
W. A. Lavette, the printing press.

So they decided to head out to the market. Well, when Theo opened the door, he
noticed the grass was as high as he was tall. You see the lawnmower was invented
by John Burr, a Black man.

They made their way over to the car and found that it just wouldn't go. You see Robert
Spikes, a Black man, invented the automatic gear shift and Joseph Gammel invented
the supercharge system for internal combustion engines.

They noticed that the few cars that were moving were running into each other and
having wrecks because there were no traffic signals. You see, Garrett A. Morgan,
a Black man, invented the traffic light.

Well, it was getting late, so they walked to the market, got their groceries and returned
home. Just when they were about to put away the milk, eggs and butter, they noticed
the refrigerator was gone. You see, John Standard, a Black man, invented the
refrigerator. So they put the food on the counter.

By this time, they noticed it was getting mighty cold. Theo went to turn up the heat and
what do you know, it was not there. You see, Alive Parker, a Black female,
invented the heating furnace. Even in the summer time they would have been out
of luck, because Frederick Jones, a Black man, invented the air conditioner.

It was almost time for Theo's father to arrive home. He usually took the bus, but there
was no bus because its precursor was the electric trolley, invented by another Black
man, Elbert T. Robinson. He usually took the elevator from his office on the 20th floor,
but there was no elevator because Alexander Miles, A Black man, invented the elevator.
He usually dropped off the office mail at a nearby mailbox, but it no longer was there
because Phillip Downing, a Black man, invented the letter drop mailbox and William
Barry invented the postmarking and canceling machine.

Theo sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. When his father arrived he
asked, "Why are you sitting in the dark?" Why?? Because Lewis Howard Latimer,
a Black man, invented the filament within the light bulb.

Theo quickly learned what it would be like if there were no Black people in the world.

Not to mention if he were ever sick and needed blood. Charles Drew, a Black scientist,
found a way to preserve and store blood, which led to his starting the world's first blood
bank.

And what if a family member had to have heart surgery. This would not have been
possible without Dr. Daniel Hale Williams, a Black doctor, who performed first open
heart surgery.

So if you ever wonder, like Theo, where we would be without Blacks? Well, it's pretty
plain to see, we could very well still be in the dark!!!

Barbara Leahy 1998
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This was so funny I had to write a parody. First, consider that all the claims made in the article about who did/invented what are 95% false.

Basterache3 said:

What if there be no Black folk up in here

This is a story of a little boy named Theo, who woke up one morning and asked Mom â€œWhat if there were no black people in the world?â€

Well, mom thought about that for a moment and then said, â€œSon, follow me around today and letâ€™s just see what it would be like if there were no black people in the world. Get dressed and we will get started.

Theo ran to his room to put on his clothes and shoes. Boy was he surprised. His shoes, instead of being bought from wal-mart, were now $120 Nike shoes. He noticed his clothes were nicely pressed, and were, again, an upgrade from wal-mart to an expensive brand. You see, without Theoâ€™s parents having to pay their endless tax dollars to the government for welfare, they could keep them, and buy Theo nice things.

His mom, now wearing expensive jewels, told him to â€œgo fix his hairâ€. Theo ran to his room and his comb was missing. Or at least he thought it was. He then remembered the oldest comb was found in Persia some 5,000 years ago, and was not a recent invention. He suddenly saw his comb on the dresser.

Well, he and his mother were a sight, finely dressed and refined. Mom told Theo, â€œLets do the chores around the house and then take a trip to the grocery store. Please get the mail for me, and tell your dad to mow the lawn.â€ Theo went out to get the mail, and another surprise. Their locking mailbox now had no lock, and the mower was left in the middle of the yard, keys in. When he asked his mom about this, she replied, â€œWell, there is no one that ever steals our stuff, so we donâ€™t need to be careful.â€

Theoâ€™s job at the grocery store was to sweep the floor, as, you see, there are no need for checkers as all the customers pay for things honestly. When he reached for the dustpan, it was there, as no one had jacked it. There were no piles of dirt in the corners, either, as everyone had the courtesy to clean up after themselves.

Theo thought to himself, â€œThis is the best day ever!â€ â€œWell, son,â€ Mom said â€œWe should wash our clothes and prepare a list for the grocery store.â€ When he was finished with the washing, Theo went to place the clothes in the dryer, but it was not there. He asked his mother, â€œMom, where is our clothes dryer?â€ Mom replied, â€œWe donâ€™t need it, we can use our clothesline in the backyard without anyone stealing our clothes.â€ He then went to get a pencil to write down a shopping list, but his mom stopped him, â€œJust text me the list on your cell phone.â€ Theo was surprised. He thought his cell phone had been jacked last week. It was now back in his pocket. Theo went outside to go on a walk. Surprisingly, he was not scared of being mugged or robbed. There was no crazy guy on the corner of 14th street, either, telling stories about how â€œW.A. Layette invented the printing pressâ€. Thanks to his school being advanced without any problem students, he had already learned that it was invented Gutenberg some 550 years ago.

After his walk, the family again went to the market. When Theo got there, he saw the grass was short and well kept. When he asked about it, the manager told him, â€œNo one steals our mowers anymore, so we can keep the grass nice.â€

They made their way over to the car and found that it worked perfectly, and the GPS and Stereo that was stolen a year ago was back in place. Also, Theo noticed there were no locks on the car doors anymore, and no key was needed to start the engine.

On the way home, they noticed that no cars were running into each other, and there were no police officers visible on the road. When Theo asked his mom, she replied, â€œWhat are police, Theo?â€.

Well, it was getting late, and they were on their way home. He went to put the goods from the market in his refrigerator when he got home. Boy was he surprised. No one had broken into the house during the day while they were away and stolen anything. He filled the refrigerator up, taking care not to disturb the calamari they were now able to afford. He remembered to thank Jacob Perkins for inventing the refrigerator, too.

By this time it was getting mighty cold outside. Theo went to turn up the heat, and his mother stopped him. â€œTheo, why do you think you can mess with the thermostat. Judging for the past of our day, it seems like you are only 8 or 9.â€ Remember Theo, do not touch the thermostat, in the winter or the summer.

It was almost time for Theoâ€™s father to arrive home. He never took the bus, as his low taxes and low insurance allowed him to afford a Porsche. His Porsche was a very nice car. Theoâ€™s father worked on the 33rd floor, and usually took the elevator. He was very excited about a change with the elevator today, â€œThe elevator did not break down at all today, and did not squeak or rattle.â€ He also had some other news to report, â€œWhen I tried to drop off office mail there was no lockbox to do so. We now just set it on a tray in the lobby, as no one ever steals it.â€

Theo sat at the kitchen table, laughing at a joke his mother just told. She claimed that the lightbulb had been invented by Lewis Howard Latimer, a black man, despite Theo learning at an early age that it be Thomas Alva Edison dat be inventin dat ting.

Theo quickly learned what it would be like if there were no black people in the world. Not to mention, if was ever shot and needed a blood transfusion, it would not be available. But then Theo remembered. No one would ever shoot him, as all the black people were gone.

And what if a family member had to have heart surgery? Theo though about Daniel Hale Williams, who falsely claimed he performed an open heart surgery. Thanks to Theoâ€™s advanced school, he knew that what Williams did not fit the definition of heart surgery, and the first open heart surgery was really performed by a Norwegian in 1895.

So if you ever wonder, like Theo, where we would be without Blacks, it is pretty plain to see, all you would have to do is take your current net worth and multiply it by 10x.
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Enjoy
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SwiftSeller · Jun 23, 2009

SwiftSeller has also reported this post.

Reason:

not only was his parody (second quote) very racist, but he also web advert'd in the topic title. double phail
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