Lol Wut

Chuck Norris lights mini-scented candles around the tub when he takes a bath.

 

Chuck Norris checks his closet for Michael Jackson before he goes to bed. He is disappointed when he doesn't find him.

 

For Chuck Norris, the roundhouse kick is not a signature move; it's just the closest he can come to his high school cheerleading days, which he misses sorely.

 

Theres a difference when you spam in the spam forum and spam everywhere else.

 

when he doesn't find him, He go's to school and rapes little boys

 

Chuck Norris scored an 8 on the “Are you a good boyfriend” quiz in Cosmo.

 

Chuck Norris orders the “side salad with low-fat dressing” at a BBQ joint.

 

Chuck Norris once got a splinter and was rushed immediately to the ER, screaming “I’m too young to die!” the whole way.

 

Chuck Norris’ favorite color is lavender.

 

Chuck Norris’ inflamed prostate is the size of a watermelon, and produces really gross shit that has no use in any way in modern society.

 

Shredderbeam, I'm adding ur msn lolz

 

Chuck Norris once shook my hand. It felt like I was holding on to 5 wet noodles of spaghetti.

 

Go for it.

 

Chuck Norris uses 5 tampons a day. The heavy-duty kind.

 

I need to talk to u bout something please

 

Chuck Norris once went into a bar and was heard saying, “I’ll have a Mike’s Hard Lemonade.”

 

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He lies awake in regret.

 

The chief export of Chuck Norris is diarrhea.

 

And on the third day God said, "Let there be light." Because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark.

 

Chuck Norris wets his bed on a nightly basis because he likes the warm feeling.