Stuck

Discussion in 'Personal Support' started by Rune_Dragon, Oct 27, 2019.

Stuck
  1. Unread #1 - Oct 27, 2019 at 8:26 PM
  2. Rune_Dragon
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    Stuck

    Hello! I am looking for some help and advice there. Posting with my real username just to get a picture of me and who i am because some people asked that before. Also it might make me more serious. Alright, starting it now.

    It all started after i finished high school. I had no idea what to do in life. Nothing interesting, i know, lot of us were there. This was 4 years ago btw. I started and finished IT System Admin school after that.
    I never liked that, i couldn't imagine myself working as that. I never did in the end. Sadness then depression started there. I asked for special help and got it, but couldn't help me tbh. This was 2 years ago.

    After finishing SysAdmin school i was scared because i couldn't get a job (bc i don't wanted to work as admin) but i had to get money somehow. I started nolifing the shit outta osrs at that time, played 18-19 hrs a day and started RWTing which got me some money. Not even bad money since gold had a better value back then and i am from a country where salaries aren't that high.

    This went for almost a year when someone else got me a real job on '18 summer. Oh, in that one year i had only one job interview, i lost my ineterest and confidence. This job was an 'okay' job, not too bad, not too good. But after summer they don't wanted as many workers as they did in summer and because i came last i had to go first. I did RWTing again. But since after the high school days my sadness then depression got worse every day, at this point it was really bad for the first time. I can't describe it, but feels like your brain is poked with a needle. Something shit and negative is always on your mind.
    Since that it's really bad, this is why i am asking for some advices and help.

    But to finish the story, i don't have financial problems, i did work from 13-18 yrs @ every summer and every holiday, so i am NOT lazy. And after that i did RWTing. Also had a really lucky staking session which made me more than enough and luckily it never made an addict (well, lost like $5k after but its almost nothing of the total profit i made and i realised that i wont be lucky again so cba going back anymore). Had great luck with BTC investment. Luckily, for me, money is not a problem, but i have other problem.

    I lost motivation and can't find it for 4+ years now. I started school this september, learning as a logistic right now, i enjoy that at the moment and would work as that in the future. But i will need more motivation just for waking up every day etc.
    At this moment i am doing AIO services here just to make myself a bit better and to feel like i am doing something every day.

    My physics health is pretty good, when i have a bit more motivation i am running or doing gym.
    I just shouldn't stare the screen this much.
    So basically, if you are still reading this, i need some life advice there, but no cliche's w/ going out more or i should eat healthier or i should do more gym.

    You might can do something with these extra infos so here they are:
    I got a few friends and i am talking and going out with them.
    Had an rs gf who hurt me really bad this spring/summer. (was my best friend etc)
    I love music, sport and art.

    My goal is to heal depression and get a job after. I don't know how, this is where i need YOU.

    EDIT: I didn't wrote this in a sad style, so it might seems like i have no big problems, but believe i do.
    Thank You for reading and looking for your answers!
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2019
  3. Unread #2 - Nov 1, 2019 at 6:38 PM
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    Hey man, I've been through something simular. From the age of 18-22 I didn't do anything with my life, there were a bunch of reasons for that but the main reason was that I just gave up because I felt like everything I had been through was so unfair and put me at such a big disadventage in life.

    Anyway, I was going to college, had a girlfriend that I had been with for almost 4 years and we were living together. I wasn't happy with any of it and couldn't commit to anything, the relationship got shittier every month, wasn't going to school anymore and was in a really bad place.

    Right before things started getting better, I had hit my lowest point in life and completely lost it. About a week later I made the decision to let every negative thing go and started getting my shit together. I broke up with my girlfriend, cut off some 'friends' and moved back home. I don't know how or when it happened I just snapped out of it, that was 1.5 year ago.

    Doing better now, wouldn't say I'm completely out of it but it's not all negative anymore and I started enjoying life again. I started looking at the bigger picture and just set small goals for myself one day at a time, there isn't much advice here but things will get better eventually. For me having the courage to let go of all the negativity in my life worked, but I don't know your situation.

    If you want to talk sometime you can message me on Discord: Skeer.Graphics#6179
     
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    Last edited: Nov 1, 2019
  5. Unread #3 - Nov 2, 2019 at 3:56 PM
  6. Rune_Dragon
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    Thank you very much man! I am sure my situation is really similar to yours and the time period is the same as mine(even same age you was). I also thought that the only way to get out is also "letting the negativity go away" but i never had courage for that since my self esteem went really low - dont really have any tbf. i've tried changing but the low esteem and negativty stopped me really fast. Idk how to get out but knowning you had similar situation made my day better (lol). I feel alone with this mindset, people dont really get it when im talking about that.
    Thank you! :)
     
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    Last edited: Nov 2, 2019
  7. Unread #4 - Nov 6, 2019 at 5:17 PM
  8. bababablacksheep
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    Stuck

    Yo.

    Have you thought about listening to motivation music i find it helps me alot especially if i am having a down day.

    Tyson Fury motivational has a massive pick me up for me maybe you can try it let me know how you get on if you do.
     
  9. Unread #5 - Nov 8, 2019 at 2:02 PM
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    @Rune_Dragon I know this is the type of advice you made clear you were not looking for, however, the reality is the only way to keep you from being anxious is to «have a break from yourself», makes sense? What I mean by that is to distance yourself from the negative factors that is keeping you in that state of mind.

    If you have high hopes and you are pursuing something.
    A) You succeed, life is great
    B) Things didn’t go as planned, low self esteem and lack of motivation occours.
    It sucks, I know. I am on my 4th year and I have failed an exam three times, however it only motivates me (I was not motivated the three other times I failed), I changed for the better and I believe that is because of what I’ll be sharing with you below.

    You are not thinking rational, very typical in youths (Assuming ur not 27+ where ut brain is fully developed on avg) you need to set yourself small goals that are rational and not aim too high, once you accomplish the little things in life it will higher your self esteem and keep motivating you further, as it will obviously release dopamine.
    If I understand you correctly, you are back at school. Key to motivation is to succeed and be good at what you are doing, you want to work in this field right? Then the only solution that comes to mind is for you to feel like you are mastering it. Short term goals, one baby step at the time.

    Many have this illusion that they will disappoint everyone else if they don’t live up to their own goals, anxiety arise. However this «illusion» is a hoax. The only one you are letting down is yourself, which will also lower your self esteem.

    What I am trying to say is that you should put your mind elsewhere, see things from a different perspective, a neutral standpoint if you will. Often people will tangle themselves up in things that is to none of their concerns, which is probably why you are feeling the way you do. Do not compare yourself to others. This is a «mature» mindset. I hope things works out, what you are going through is not very unusual, no need to feel otherwise.

    You can dm me at any time.
     
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    Last edited: Nov 8, 2019
  11. Unread #6 - Nov 8, 2019 at 2:30 PM
  12. Rune_Dragon
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    Hey, thanks! I agree with you and also i think almost the same as you. Changing could be the only way. But when i ever tried that i just never could. I guess people can't understand this situation but when your self esteem is way too low you get a brand new mindset which is killing you slowly. You just can't even imagine it if you never experienced it. Even when i got professional help i always felt that my doctors never got the base of this mindset and never could help me really. It also comes from childhood, so i think this can't be changed anymore. So my only hope is what you've said aswell. But i don't know how. What do we call small steps? Waking up every single day, maybe going for a shopping or a party? If yes, im stuck, like i mentioned. My only hope is this school and the job(s) after for the change. If nothing happens i will give up for the rest of my life probably. Thanks again!
     
  13. Unread #7 - Nov 26, 2019 at 9:18 AM
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    Stuck

    Have you tried the devils lettuce?
    And keep working hard as you can
    All we can do
     
  15. Unread #8 - Nov 30, 2019 at 3:33 PM
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    Losing motivation has been a common theme in my life aswell. I think that I get distracted with things that I really do not care about, for example runescape.

    The fact that I spend a lot of time on this game leads me to believe that I am doing so in order to avoid something else. Maybe you're in the same boat as me?

    Try to re-evaluate your life, live in the moment, and figure out what you're doing wrong. What are you hiding from?
     
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  17. Unread #9 - Dec 1, 2019 at 12:33 PM
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    I can recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as a start. No for everyone but it's a step in the right direction. Talking is so important I can't stress it enough.

    Exercise. Eat right. Get rest. The exercising doesn't necessarily have to be a hardcore gym workout. It can also be a long walk with a nice podcast in your ears :)
     
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