[Food] Various - Organic, Vegan, Non-GMO, Dairy-Free, Soy-Free, Gluten Free Reviews

New year, new food. From now on, I'm only going to review REAL food. That's right folks, none of that food that'll make you SICK with the government's chemicals.

Price Paid: Too much

First up... Lara Bars!



Everyone's second favorite mash-up of dates + nut, other than the key they don't get. Larabars have proven to be pretty alright in the past, but how about 2019+ versions like these?

Larabar Turmeric Ginger Beet - tastes like ginger. And Turmeric. And partially beet. Mainly ginger. You gotta really like ginger to enjoy this bar.



OH AND MOLD. Best by date of December 6, and I was going to eat this whole thing for review purposes.

0/5 (it was pretty bad, mold aside).

Larabar Hazelnut Hemp Cacao - Smells really good. You get a lot of notes of chocolate, very similar to other chocolate Larabars. Best by date is Apr 25, 2019. Guess what? ALSO HAS MOLD. Just less mold.

0/5 only because the product also had mold. This smells like it'd be a 4/5.

Now that the yummy appetizer is out of the way, let's move onto the main course. Taquitos!





Starlite Cuisine Vegan Chorizo Black Bean Taquitos - If really dry and void of filling is your style, then boy do I have the girl for you. These taquitos could have used some cheese / sauce of some sort to moisten up the product, and of course add more filling. I've reviewed a few taquitos in the past, and have had some unfilled taquitos but these were disappointing in that front.

Positive side, the flavor of the middle section wasn't too bad. I ended up dipping these in a lot (a lot) of cheese.

Low 3/5. Needs work on filling quantity, and needs something to make it juicy.

Alright, time for desert.



So Delicious Banana's Foster - Made with Cashewmilk to keep it dairy-free, as all products here are, it is an excellent choice. Except it is cut with coconut oil? There was a strong coconut taste in this ice cream, especially in the chocolate chips. Anyways, you get some delicious coconutty-chocolate, some vanilla "ice cream" which turned out to be pretty dang good, and a banana-cinnamon swirl that ruins the whole thing (cinnamon is so strong).

High 4/5 - I'd get this again. So close to a great product.



So Delicious Blueberry Cardamom - If you've ever had cardamom, you'd know what it even being adjacent to food does. Basically, the last ingredient in this product, and the flavor is IN YOUR FACE.



With that being said, you can kind of taste blueberry and coconut (coconut milk based "ice cream")

This is basically cold cardamom.

Low 3/5. Using way less cardamom, or maybe none at all, would easily make this a 5/5 product.


Now if you'll excuse me, I just ate and sniffed mold before I wrote this review up.

tl;dr - ate a bunch of meme reviews to post this, left largely unimpressed.

 

my day has been made

 

The man, the myth, the legend. Swear you’re the reason this site is still a thing

 

Lmao, too bad it was just for memes with the bourgeois items.

I did just now find an item I want to actually review though. I've always heard good things about my next review, and there's a new price / version of it .

Bahahaha oh goodness.

 

I forgot u did these, mmm tasty !!! how did u end up with a moldy bar tho

 

> Dairy Free
> 100G of sugar

Health food in America

 

You’ve lost the fucking plot

 

Due to the no preservatives and organic ingredients, there was mold . It is unfortunate, but it happened. It is okay though, Small Planet Foods hooked me up

It is ice cream!

But there's better "health" ice cream in the USA. This is more for lactose-intolerance.

I did what had to be done this year.