How to stay safe from Stride Gum.

-How to stay safe from Stride Gum-
Stride Gum has been notorious for trying to get people to chew that second piece, so now I'm going to tell you how to avoid their ways and stay safe.​

The man beast - This is Strides latest weapon, they use it as a mind game. The man beast will come up to you all nice and ask for a hug, but, he'll squeeze you until you spit out your gum!

Here is an example of what a man beast looks like.



How to avoid the man beast - My choice for you would be getting a body guard. Body guards stay with you 24/7 to make sure you're safe and satisfied, they'll surely get the job done.

This is the type of body guard you'll want.



The van - Stride has been using this method a lot lately so be careful! With this method, Stride usually parks by, or behind you and while you're walking up to your car... BOOM! They scare you, causing you to spit out your gum.

Here's the typical type of van Stride uses.



How to avoid the van - There really is no safe way to avoid the van method sadly enough, but here are some options...
- stay indoors.
- carry a gun. (Not recommended)
- park inside buildings (Not recommended)

The ram - Stride gums favorite tool! They will use this when you're crossing a cross-walk most likely while on the phone and distracted. The ram will ram you in the nuts or other parts down there.



How to avoid the ram - This is quite simple, wear a cup. A cup will protect you from the heavy hit the ram gives and will only cause slight pain. Also, you could wear leg armor in case the ram runs into your legs.



The tranquilizer gun - Strides latest weapon! They will shoot you with a tranquilizer gun and take out the piece from your mouth.



How to avoid the tranquilizer gun - Three really isn't a good way to defend yourself from this.... Either, wear a full body armor suit or stay indoors at all times.



"I Rawr Im Phat wrote this guide on How to stay safe from Stride Gum. Any ripping of this guide will be reported, and you'll most likely be banned."

 

3 words.

Best. Guide. EVER. lol

 

Thanks, lol.

 

how did you get user educator rank when you write stupid guides like this? are UEs meant to write retarded guides like this or what>

 

It was funny >.< he writes useful guides too

 

Well for one, I write useful guides as well, this is just a fun one I thought I'd try. And secondly, it is a useful guide I think... If you've seen the Stride Gum commercials they do this, and the TV never lies does it?...

 

This guide is a joke.