This girl named jess

so like, i started working at a new job, and i met this girl named jess, so we start chatting, im trying to make her my girlfriend, now i dont know how this girl feels, she does one thing but then does another thing, ive been trying to hangout with her but she fronts all the time, we would be like oh yeah we will hangout tomorrow and whenever i try to she comes up with an excuse, i drop hints all the time like i call her cute, i asked her if she was single, she said she was never on a date and i brought that up and i said i wouldve taken her out but she fronts, i dont know i think she notices me dropping hints and all that, she flirts with me back or atleast i assume she does and my friend sees it too, my other co workers as well, so im the type of guy that doenst bother hitting anyone up unless we are close or you hit me up on occasion too, unless i like you then i will try, so my question to you guys is, im the type to not give a fuck and let things go its course, but with this girl its like fuck it why not go for it, the last girl i said i was going to make my girlfriend, it happened, i feel like it could with this girl too but i just dont know with her, do you guys think i should go for it, i was planning on it but im not positive on what to do yet, that "fuck it" attitude is what gets things done, makes things less complicated, so does not caring and letting things take its course, but im not sure which option is for the better in this situation, also i could probably find another girl in due time, i just like her personality, we could click and i feel like we do, also a pet peeve i have against her is she calls me "bud" or "buddy". she says she calls all her friends that but i repeatedly told her to chill and not call me that, idk i just like girls coming to me i guess, i dont know if shes worth it you know, or if its gonna even work out but like i do drop hints, i dont really care, sometimes i go for it, most times it works out and other times it doenst but thats life

 

if you want something with her, then you have to make a move. to be honest, if she comes up with excuses, then she's probably not all that interested. even if you think she's flirting with you, it seems weird that you're hitting her up to hang out and she comes up with excuses, cause dates are where the real progress happens. maybe she isn't into you like that.

but you seem pretty cool about it and you never know, so go for it. you have a good way of thinking. the worse that can happen is her being awkward if it doesn't work out.

 

When you ask her to chill, do you text or call? Because that really makes a difference imo, you should call her.

 

yes exactly!, she invited me to hangout with her family but she said it was boring but didnt hit me up, i wouldve went, but idk we will see, ima go for it anway

sometimes its in work, but other times texting and she calls me sometimes, randomly too, like she would be drunk and call me to talk

 

If she wanted to go out on a date with you, she would. She's probably just a really nice shy girl, who doesn't want to hurt your feelings. I'd stop dropping hints constantly, especially at work, because it could be making her uncomfortable. She obviously knows you're into her, so if you stop trying maybe she'll gain interest. I got advice from my friend a few years ago, which really helped me out, he told me that best way to gain someones attention, is to stop giving them yours, and that has brought a lot of ease to my life.

 

you dont even know how many times i have done that and it has worked in the long run,i dont really flirt with her at work since theres a time and place for everything and work wouldnt be it, i do stop hitting her up and she will call me randomly, sometimes drunk so drunk mind speaks a sober mind, shes like an airhead tho with this stuff, i dont think she notices, i cant even tell half the time, i cant even say how much ease that has brought me too, it makes it easier cause if they actually care then they will be there, only time i flirt is when she snaps me pictures, ill be like cute, send her heart emojis, she sends me more pictures, its happened more then once haha but i dont think anyone could be this oblivious

 

Not sure if you're just trying to get in her pants or what..

 

If you feel like she is into just try a little harder for her

 

nah not with her, i dont think about getting in her pants thats the thing, i have to make myself think about it, i just want the benefits of being with her as in cuddling, hooking up, simple things, also going out and being cute, just having someone, i just feel like we click

i have the tiniest bit of hope. ill keep trying slightly but also ill pull back when i need to, ill see how things go, i pretty much told her that i would take her out since shes never been taken out but she didn't get what i was trying to say

 

update: right now, she basically tells me her last relationship fucked her up, and that she doesnt want to end up hurting me, i already had a girl like this and i know how to handle situations like these and she said she wants to worry about herself right now, so ima chill with her and see how it goes, i already asked her out on a date and she said yeah, but idk shes confusing cause shes like putting no effort into really hitting me up, like i asked her out and we havent really talked about it since and i was going to bring something up, but atleast it can go somewhere, we'll see

 

Interesting read, let us know how the date goes.

 

I can tell you from experience that less is more buddy. If you text her everyday she will think that you are desperate. Texting should only be to make plans not to have actual conversations, leave that to dates.

If she has already stood you up multiple times that means that she probably isn't interested. Usually when you are interested in someone you go out fo your way to be with them.

When dealing with a women, you always want to give the impression that you have more options and that you won't stand for her shit. You are supposed to be the price and she is supposed to adapt to your life/schedule.

Right now the best course of action you can do is to stop paying attention to her, she will notice that and will ask herself whats wrong. Once you do that she will probably text you some shit like "Don't be such a stranger" but that is a shit test. Ignore her texts for a while and just sit and watch as she goes crazy and becomes 10 times more interested in you.
(In her mind she will be like wtf this guy isn't interested in me and her inner hamster will go crazy and will do anything to have your attention)

Good luck.

 

yes see you know how to do it, i barely hit her up, i wanna see what s he does, i feel like she might be uninterested but the last time i didnt hit her up and ignored her, she asked me if i was mad, ill see how it goes, we have work soo might be a bit hard but its the best place to do it