My life is a failure..depression..

Hey guys, since ive moved to germany 6 years ago my life has only been depressing.
i came to germany with no german skills at all, being laughed at by the german kids and mocked at because i was fat i would lock myself up in my room and try to distract myself from it , losing myself in games such as runescape.
At home i felt no love, from parents who were working all day mocking at me for having bad grades altough i couldnt speak a word german and making me do all the work at our house (i had a sister who didnt do shit). I was at a gymnasium tho (highest educational form in germany). So life went on i tried to hide my depression until 4 years later i fell in love with a girl from my class. It was so sudden and i had dreams about her etc. She never mocked at me and always helped me correct my german but at a time i was befriended with assholes and
cussed at everyone and just became the normal asshole because i didnt know better, then she started to hate meand i fell in love with her...
I started to workout, joined the foobtall team.. lost weight became big and tried talking to her and failed, she simply didnt like me anymore and when a friend of mine who tried to ask her out about me told me that she said she didnt give a fuck, a bit inside of me died.
So i was left depressed, slim and muscular as i was i had lost 30Kg (70 pounds?) of weight and it was all useless.
My football coach tried to help me in my depression and gave me advice wich helped at that time i relaxed and just did the normal things i did.
then one day a friend of mine invited me to smoke a joint. i agreed and went with him and was high for the first time.The upcoming period was the only succesfull part of my life, when i started partying and smoking weed and chicks would run after me and i had lost my virginity a couple of weeks later.
Then i had my first girlfriend and thought my life would be good now but it wasnt. she reminded me more and more of the girl i was in love with and i failed to keep up the relationship and she left saying id drink and party too much she wouldnt see a future in our relationship.ANother depressing era of my life beginned. I turned fatter gained like 15kg and lost my will to do anything and had bad grades in school. My parents cussed at me (They are religious muslims) and sort of degraded me.i kept failing everything i did, didnt attend the football trainings failed tests and did everything wrong. I blamed my parents and left home.Several days later my uncle called me up told me i could live with him in his appartment wich i tought was great buthe lived in a city 200km away from mine. He convinced me it was the right decision so i went wiht him.And now after 3 months being hee i realised it was the wrong decision.I miss all my friends i had back in my city who always talked with me when i had depressions, who helped me with my crush, my training and went partying wiht me callin brosb4hoes.Now i am alone in an appartment wiht my uncle whos away for 6 months for a bussiness travel and am depressed to the ground.Please sythe give me some advice or i will go insane..

 

The answer is kinda obvious. Be the bigger man and apologize to your parents.
Go home

 

Hi we meet again!

I understand you, being foreign and overweight people will tend to mock you. WHY? Because you are different. And is different bad? No... The reason why they mock you is because they are insensitive people who gain pleasure while others feel hurt.

Since you know that these people who mock you are plain assholes, why are you bothered with their remarks? They don't care about how you feel, so why are you caring about what they say? They are just people you don't even have connections with, strangers... Are you going to let strangers and plain assholes put you down? NO you aren't!

You should only care about the words coming out of your loved ones, not these jerks! My friend once told me, "Whenever a person insults me, i just let it go through me. When someone praises me, i take it deep into my heart, and keep it there forever!"

Next, i can understand why you befriended other assholes and became one yourself. It is normal, trust me. You were once a victim, and it was probably the reason why you became an asshole too. But you can change and revert back!

No man, in no way this is considered successful. These are just temporary joys and highs, which will not last and stay with you forever. These moments will not mean a thing. Only by finding true happiness within yourself is success, because it stays with you forever.

And about your girlfriend, even if you lose her does not mean you lose your will to live and have fun. If things don't work out, it is better for a break-up. You've got to learn to accept those! Of course it is easy to say, but it is necessary to learn to move on with life. Afterall, you still have a whole load of opportunites ahead of you

Lastly, about your uncle's home. If you really want to return ( Do you absolutely want to return? ) then apologise and go back. But you have to be sure you will not make the same mistakes in the past.

Meanwhile you can also find friends, make new friends around your area! Trust me , it's that easy!

 

I agree with BeeVer but I also think that if you returned home you should ask to get counseling sessions with your parents to try to work out the differences.