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girl problems

  • Thread starter Thread starter DRGzt
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DRGzt

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so basically i was friends with this girl(read: secretly in love with her, dunno if one-sided) when i was like 6 years old. when i was 11 , due to family problems, i had to transfer schools. i told her i'll be back for her(didnt think she inferred the statement in the romantic way though) im now 16 and i finally got into contact with this girl after 6 years.

as expected, im still in love with her. considering we are still in different schools, and that this next year is very important for the both of us(national exams, its like the SAT in Asia), i've suggested meeting up with her at least once a week to study.(although we're in different schools, we study pretty much the same subjects)

i know that i should take it slowly but how can i 'plant the roots of the relationship' for now(until our exams are done)?

a little bit about my personality - i'm pretty carefree and laidback person, not particularly attractive, just your average asian 16 year old.

while shes also quite outgoing but has mentioned that she still thinks it is too young for her to be in a relationship. right now we're pretty close and we text everyday to talk about mostly homework/school, sometimes about life

so i was wondering what can i do to just plant the foundation of the relationship at the moment, but not actually get into one till we're both ready?

anything you have for me sythe, go on.

thanks for reading
 
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Just communicate with her like a friend for a while, but let her now that you like her.

Good luck ;)
 
The best way to get to know someone is by spending time with them. When you do meet for study sessions, try taking a break to go for a walk. You could spend that time showing her around your neighborhood, viewing local attractions, or just talking about life. But if she thinks that it's too early for her to be in a relationship, try to respect that. Just continue to spend time talking, hanging out, giving each other advice, and having fun. Your persistence towards your relationship with her as friends will pay off in the long run, and it will let her know that you really care about her.
 
so basically i should just take it slowly?

something along the lines of friendship till 18 -> suggest a relationship?
 
Just spend as much time with her as you can. Get to know her personality more, get to know what she likes and you'll see what you have it common which is what you should do before you want to start a relationship, that's my opinion anyway.
 
rstrader1471 said:
Just spend as much time with her as you can. Get to know her personality more, get to know what she likes and you'll see what you have it common which is what you should do before you want to start a relationship, that's my opinion anyway.
Click to expand...

I second this. Spend as much time with her as possible, and I think things will unfold naturally on their own :) She may feel too young to be in a relationship, but if she develops intense feelings for you naturally over the course of your friendship, she may change her mind. Even if she doesn't, you will still be there for her when she decides she is old enough/mature enough for a relationship.
 
Clearly she isn't ready/looking for a relationship at the moment so don't be too pushy or she might be creeped out by that. Just say you want to see her and catch up on all the years that you guys haven't seen each other. You said you were in "love" with her at 6 years old. I think you mean you liked her. Love is a strong word. Do you mind if I ask(will help me give you a more personalized answer): do you have other girls that like you back and would get in a relationship with you?

Best of luck with your situation.
 
thanks for all the replies, they seem pretty obvious to me now that they come from others. haha.

also @stringcheese, to answer your question, I do have girls that like me and wants to get into relationships with me.
 
I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that you probably find her fairly attractive?

Saying that you're in love with someone at 11 doesn't mean much. If you feel the same way you did about her when you were 11, it isn't love. There's a difference between infatuation and love, buddy. Being infatuated with someone doesn't mean you're a crazy stalker and all you think about is her. It just means that you find her very interesting and would like to know all there is about her. Infatuation coupled with an attraction for a girl can be mistaken for love.

But don't get me wrong- many relationships start with infatuation and progress onto something more. You're still just a kid and it sounds like you have a very important year ahead of you (with your SAT-like exams). Don't get distracted by girls. This doesn't mean that I'm saying not to hangout with her: just try to make an active decision to be friends with her... just friends.

If you stay her friend, eventually once she's ready for a relationship, you'll be the first person she thinks about. At that point, if you still think you'd like to give things a go, then you should identify what she wants and try things out. Communication is everything. Let her know what you feel, without revealing all of your cards (if that makes any sense) and she'll easily be able to tell you anything. Once you know her well enough, making your move will be easy (like taking candy from a baby).

I think that's enough one-liners for one post.
Best of luck to you, kid.
 
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