spam forum worthy

So to anyone who hasn't herd the song "Friday" by Rebecca Black I stumbled accross a review that sums it up perfect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0

TL;DR: This song makes Bieber fag sound almost acceptable, it is the worst song of the generation.

I don't know how you spent yesterday, but I spent it vomiting through my eyes and ears after I watched the music video for "Friday", a new song from an Auto-Tuned nobody by the name of Rebecca Black. As sorry as I am to show you this, you can absorb the monstrosity in its sickening high-definition glory here. Okay, finished watching it? First things first: I'm sorry. Anyway, because pronouncing "Friday" as "FRY-E-DAY" and Auto-Tuning it isn't soul-draining enough, you'll have noticed that the song doesn't even rhyme. Think about that. It doesn't... even... rhyme.Black (or whichever money-hungry exploitative record company executive) took a well-known staple of memorable lyric-writing, fed it through a shredder, glued it back together with a mixture of crap and the blood of a virgin, tied it to a firework and shot it into a volcano. The result is this song. The lyrics of the first verse deal with what are obviously some of the trickiest and depressing problems facing teenagers all around the world, including waking up in the morning, getting up, going downstairs and eating cereal.Where is this cereal she speaks of? And, more worryingly, why is she ignoring her mother becoming a victim of domestic violence at the hands of her young brother in the background?Whilst Black is waiting at the bus stop (for her bus, something she makes very clear in case you're one of the millions of people who think that a bus stop is for trains), her friends stop by in a car, prompting her to wonder which seat she can take - a mind-crushing dilemma which has thrown many a popular teenager into an existential quandary and driven them to suicide over their own indecisiveness."Hurr durr, just waytin' 4 da buss." (Also, the sign is telling her what we're all thinking.)The bus stop scene is retarded beyond all human recognition. First of all, Black is at a bus stop, so why the fuck does she get into a car instead? Secondly, the front of the car is blatantly full (primarily because it's just weird to sit in the back seat and leave the front passenger seat empty but also because we are SHOWN the car and people in it), so why is she even kidding herself into thinking that she has a choice of seat? There are already two of her friends in the back, so she's obviously going to take the last available seat because she doesn't have a fucking choice!"Bitch, we didn't even ask you to get in the car!"The time of day then inexplicably changes to night, leaving us to assume that Black decided against paying to take public transport through time and instead settled on a shitty incarnation of Doctor Who's TARDIS, complete with an infestation of annoying teenagers like herself who I'm pretty sure aren't the same teens from the day-time version of the car.The blonde-haired girl looks fucking terrified. She knows, man. SHE KNOWS!And, of course, here's the obligatory "look at me I'm friends with a black person I love you people BUY MY ALBUM" shot."What do you mean, "you people"?"Since IT'S FRIDAY, in case you haven't noticed by now, we are then taken to the inevitable party scene. But have you noticed anything strange about this party? Most of the people there aren't even old enough to have sugary drinks after 7pm, never mind consume alcohol."No, yeah, this is totally my car. What? Oh, Beyoncé is my, er... uncle. Wait, NO! Shit."We are then treated to a breakdown of days of the week with these lyrics:Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday,Today it is Friday, Friday,We we we so excited,We so excited,We gonna have a ball today,Tomorrow is Saturday,And Sunday comes afterwards.No, that seriously happens. Black gets so caught up listing the days of the week that she has a seizure and morphs into an animation who is eternally stuck on a cartoon calendar that has four-day weeks."ALL I SEE IS FRIDAY! I SPLIT INTO TWO VIA MITOSIS! DOUBLE THE FRIDAY!!"The most unexpected part of the video is when a man who is apparently Usher's uncool older brother makes an appearance and proceeds to deliver a tragically short-lived rap about cars, because this is apparently a staple of a good weekend for men his age."Ooooh, gon' pick me up some high school bitchez!"Back to the party now. The only difference to other party scenes in music videos is that Black, instead of dancing with her "friends", decides to lord over them like the harbinger of musical death."DANCE, MONKEYS! DANCE UNTIL YOU DIE AND THEN DANCE SOME MORE, FOR IT IS FRIDAY! FRIDAY!!!!!"Rebecca's name was trending on ******* for over fifteen hours, which is over fifteen hours too long, and resulted in a never-ending stream of some of the greatest use of sarcasm I've seen on ******* so far - not least of which came from Jesus Christ himself.I sincerely hope that this whole thing is an elaborate joke; if it is, I'll gladly admit that I angrily fell for it and laugh at the fact that I took time to write a whole article about it. If it's serious, then the music industry is even more doomed and, if the laws of physics prevail, every musician to have existed on Earth since the Big Bang (and even those who don't exist yet) will implode at random points in time and the concept of music itself will never have existed.

 

Azzbr0 you make me moist.

 

Oh my God.
I Swear they could take some kid of the street and they would be better =.=

That dude looked like usher.