Adblock breaks this site

-*My Poem*-

Discussion in 'Music' started by Dark_Mauler, Feb 5, 2009.

  1. Dark_Mauler

    Dark_Mauler Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2009
    Posts:
    98
    Referrals:
    0
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    -*My Poem*-

    Here Is My Poem, I Had To Right In Class, It Is Pretty Good I Think, But Tell Me how you think: Winter' Breeze Is Flying By, Snowflakes Falling From The SKy, Children play on through the day, as the snowflackes melt away... Is It Good? Tell ME!
     
  2. juvenilepunk

    juvenilepunk Hero
    Do Not Trade

    Joined:
    May 13, 2006
    Posts:
    5,424
    Referrals:
    2
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    -*My Poem*-

    Pretty good a bit short but good. Remember poetry is not all about rhyme.
     
  3. World Domination

    World Domination Guru
    Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2007
    Posts:
    1,563
    Referrals:
    3
    Sythe Gold:
    5
    -*My Poem*-

    Yea, many great poems don't rhyme at all.
    Regardless, it's not bad, tad short like juvenilepunk said, but not too bad nonetheless.
     
  4. Dark_Mauler

    Dark_Mauler Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2009
    Posts:
    98
    Referrals:
    0
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    -*My Poem*-

    Well, I Try To Ryhme. Lol ;)
     
  5. Ko Man

    Ko Man Guru
    Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2008
    Posts:
    1,964
    Referrals:
    1
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    -*My Poem*-

    Really nice and fluent, yet try to make it a bit longer, pretty short ;)
     
  6. J a K e Y

    J a K e Y Guru
    Banned

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2008
    Posts:
    1,595
    Referrals:
    2
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    -*My Poem*-

    Its a good start, try adding on to it now, make it abit longer. Very good though up to now. ;D
     
  7. ezraflitcher

    ezraflitcher Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2007
    Posts:
    86
    Referrals:
    0
    Sythe Gold:
    0
    -*My Poem*-

    Winter' Breeze Is Flying By,
    Snowflakes Falling From The Sky,
    Children play on through the day,
    as the snowflakes melt away.

    Extention?hmm..

    But after the children had their fun
    And when the snowflakes faced the sun
    The winter breeze decided to run
    Thats why Spring is so damn early.

    Someday that breeze will return
    And with it,a lesson learned
    That when things bright come out to burn
    Doesn't call for retreat haphazardly

    Thank me for trying *rolls eyes*.
     
< 10 Songs That Make Up Your Identity | Sythe.Org Project (Song) >


 
 
Adblock breaks this site