Obsessed with a kid

I go to Mosque every Saturday/Sunday and there is this little kid among many others that come. He is 6 years old and whenever I get a chance, I always want to speak to him because I find him cute and really a good person overall. I've been talking to one person (a close friend) about how much I wish he was my son, how I could be such a good father to him and I would also talk about if kidnapping wasn't against the law, I would take him - Not being exactly serious but that's how much I love him but it's not in a homosexual way, its pretty much in a way a father loves his son. Taking into consideration, I'm in my last year of high school. Just yesterday I took a few pictures of him that were the cutest things ever and next week the Mosque is closed due to Eid so I'll be seeing him in 2 weeks. I'm really frustrated because I want to see him and really can't wait 2 weeks. He was telling me how he was nearly turning 7 and I thought about getting him a present, If I should? He comes from the same racial background as me and I just have such a big strong heart for him, I wish he could be my son. Why am I feeling like this? I would even choose him over the love of my life which is a scary thing and my friend tells me that I'm a physco/crazy for thinking about stuff like this.

Help?

 

I think first off, your obsession is a bit unhealthy. I don't think it'd be out of the question to buy him a birthday gift, but it would only worsen what you feel currently when he accepted it. My advice is back off a bit, maybe a few weeks will do you good. I know you mean know harm, but I'm not sure other people would think the same. I don't think it'll do you any favours. It's not bad to be friends with someone much younger, but your obsession definitely isn't 'right'. Just my opinion.

 

What do you mean by 'I don't think it'd be out of the question to buy him a birthday gift' - Really confused about that and also I have his picture as my wallpaper on my phone (some may say that's creepy) but everytime I see the picture, just makes me want to see him more? Do you genuinely think that if I back off, my strong feelings for him would weaken therefore I would be able to get him a birthday gift without feeling depressed afterwards but a question I would like to ask you is why would I feel depressed or make my feelings worsen if he did accept a present I got him? Thanks

 

This is what I meant, it wouldn't be bad or weird - but it would worsen your situation and probably make you feel even closer to him, because he'd be happy you got him it and you'd feel contented.

I think the picture is a bit far, personally. I think if you back off, and focus on your connections with friends your own age, I genuinely think you'll feel a bit more distanced, and that'd be a good thing.

 

If that was my child I'd tell you to back up...
It is very weird. Just don't put him as your background etc, just speak to him at your mosque and that's it. You can get him a gift, but only get him something small and ask his parents if you can give it to him first.

 

Very VERY surprised no one has mentioned the word peado yet but sadly that is roughly you're relationship with him.. it DOES not look good in anyone else's eyes.. The most you can do is say something like 'he's a brother to me' and just include him in things you do.. and just be there for him, but don't come off too strong because that'll raise suspicions that you could be attached.. Get him a gift but give it to him with your parents (like go over all together)..

I guess you can do whatever you want, but the point we're trying to say it don't get too caught up with him.. what if he moves on? what if he accidently dies? I mean don't get too emotionally attached but i think it'd be better to call him a brother instead of son.. that's kinda getting to the creepy point

 

You probably won't like this, but I've seen this before one too many times. It starts off like it is now, and then it starts to get more serious. Your religion forbids this and I'm pretty sure your country does too. I would personally back off before you start drawing unwanted attention to yourself. Hang out with people around your age, trust me it works. If there's the off and unfortunate chance that this is the way you are younger people, then I would seriously consider therapy. Don't buy any gifts or anything for him, you're only gonna grow to like him more if you do.

Do you mind me asking your age?

 

He said he's in his last year of high school so he's 17 or 18.

And to avoid the risk of me getting infracted I won't even put in my 2 cents.

 

Everyone is approaching this as a terribly bad thing. It could just be a- Though awkward, crush. You'll probably grow out of it in a year or two; it's not uncommon to enjoy the presence of children as usually their innocence is pure entertainment.

 

Nevermind I'll put in my 2 cents after reading socks' post. That has nothing to do with enjoying children entertainment or however you want to say it. I have a 4 year old nephew who I love greatly, but I do not go as far as the OP is going with a kid he's not even related to. I found out tonight that my nephew was raped by his 14 year old half brother and when I find him I'm going to beat the shit out of him. But my point is, we aren't looking at this the wrong way, it is how it is.

To the original poster - I'd keep my distance from the kid even though you feel how you feel no matter what kind of feelings they are. You may say now that it's not like being a pedophile but it can easily turn into that so you have to be careful.

 

Where do you live?

In all honesty, if I found out about you and these feelings if I was your friend, his parents, or just a bystander, I'd probably just knock your ass out.

This is insanely weird. You need to cut your ties with him. You can talk to him at Mosque, that should be absolutely it, no ifs and or buts. If I saw my kid's picture as your screensaver, I'd have to beat the living shit out of you before calling the cops.

This is coming from someone who worked with 3-7 year olds all summer and had a blast with them, and I'm 16. But I never, ever felt anything as weird as what you are. You need therapy or some sort of help beyond this forum.


Excuse my harshness, but you need to get the message.

 

Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate all the advice you've given me. Out of all honesty, after reading posts which really did come across harsh, It woke me up. I now see this as a really bad problem and if I let it carry on, it will worsen. I'm thinking that these 2 weeks apart will do me good, I removed him as my wallpaper from my phone and also have tried focusing my attention amongst my friends rather than dazing off about how he is a nice kid and such. Today, from time to time I've felt bad and depressed but then I just focus on something completely different and it sort of relieves me from that state but IF however the feelings/weirdness is still there after 2 weeks and I can't talk to him sensibly without feeling the way I do, I'm thinking of calling up the doctor and getting referred to a Councillor/therapist and see what happens next. In addition, I can see where most of you are coming from in-terms of it being weird and a pedophile act but he generally is a nice kid but I need to learn to not get to attached and backing off will help me; so I won't be getting him a gift for his birthday whether it seems fine or not because it will like the first poster has said worsen my feelings.

As for your questions, I'm actually 15 and in the UK.

 

Wish i could say something positive about this. But in all honesty if i saw someone taking pictures of a young boy i would knock that person the fuck out. I'm Not saying that you are pedophile or something but just the thought of it. I know that you're only 15, So am i but it is wrong in so many ways. I Wouldnt buy him anything as he is not my son and it would be a little bit wierd just going up to his parents asking if you can buy something. So my suggestion to you is to just back off from him before you get into any trouble.

 

Flat out if this was my kid i would hurt you. Stay away from him, you are asking to be hurt by the father and to be locked up. Your obsession is just what you said an obsession, there is something more to this.. this is beyond creepy. Taking pictures of children that arent yours without parental consent is illegal and downright weird. NOTHING good can come of this, this is the start to a kidnapping or pedophillia. You might not think thats where this is going, but think of it this way... he isnt EVER going to be your son. Your relationship isnt EVER going to be appropriate theres no where for this to go but badly. Drop it, and seek counseling. I would say try to settle down with a girl and have a kid or spend time with some family, but flat out i think thats a bad idea IMO you need to stay away from any kids for the time being. Please seek professional counseling

 

I couldnt have said it better. The best advice in my opinion....

 

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