I lost my virginity to a goat.

I was working at a bird sanctuary and they had some goats and sheep there. I was left to close up one day and I thought i'd stay around because the weather was awesome and it was so peaceful. I got horny and decided to act on all the animal porn i'd watched and found so fucking hot. I tied one of the goats up in one of the hay barns and fucked it bareback in the ass. It was fucking amazing and I was shit scared in case I got caught.
That was like 6 years ago and since then I've fucked about 8 girls and 2 guys and nothing was as good as that goat. I'm planning on doing something similar again soon and on a regular basis.

 

I'm 20 years old, single, and live by myself while finishing up college. I spend the majority of my time playing video games, reading books, playing basketball, and looking at internet porn and cp. Thats all good, and my life has been just great doing those things until 3 weeks ago. Every sunday I load my dog and an ice chest full of beers into my van and drive down to this nature area on the outskirts of town but still in the middle of a residential area. I play ball, walk the dog, and then open up my van and sit in the door way reading or listening to radio and drinking brew. This is usually a very quite part of town and no one is ever around so I can just chill out. Up until 3 weeks ago I was happy with this and then something happened. Somewhere in the nearby residential area, a new family moved in, including a very cute 13 year old girl. Three Sundays ago she happened to be riding by on her bike, with a little puppy following her. Well the dogs decided to go bonkers and she ended up sitting in my van talking to me for 30 minutes about her dog, family, and moving in. Wow? I thought so too...but she went home....all over...life back to normal right?

Not so lucky, next Sunday, I'm chilling, here she comes again rolling up on her bike with a loose pair of navy blue cheer shorts on. When she pulled up next to my van and put her legs on the ground to steady herself, the shorts popped open so everything underneath was visible to me, she had on some kinda lacy pink thong that didn't fully cover one of her lips. This gave me a boner on the spot. She had her dog with her and said she liked talking to me last week and saw me over here so she was going to let her dog play for awhile. She stayed an hour and talked about how she lives with her foster parents, worried about new school, getting on cheer squad...stuff like that. This drives me wild, everytime she smiles and giggles it makes my balls tingle and anus pucker. She now comes back every week including today, and I'm sure she will be back next week. I just dont know what to do. This girl has uprooted my normally solitary life of internet perversions and thrust herself right in the middle of it. I'm going to have to make a move next Sunday. I have two options as I see it: (a) kiss her, see what happens (b) throw her in the van and drive off (c) do B if A fails, I'm not sure what I'll do but I'll keep you guys posted, and whatever does happen, I'll have pics and video for sure. My name is Chet and I'm about to become a predator.

 

give me money back and i stop......

 

this happened

 

so many faggots

 

#1 faggot has spoken.

 

who the fuck are you

 

your anus. i'm your anus.

 

tl;dr

 

American Pie: Beta House?

 

Have you just called me a Beta male for fucking a goat?

I'm an Aplha male, dude.
And girls and goats want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That goat you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasnos you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?
Yeah, I'm fucking her.
The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly aks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?
Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.
The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?
Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic fuck. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to fuck 6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.
And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and dissapear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't Fuck" instinct something feirce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to fuck her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath.

And she's cheating on you, I promise that. When she sits around quiet and uncomfortable, acting irritable and irrational towards you, wanting you to just back away and leave her alone, it's not her period. It's because I haven't called her for a day or two and her instincts are telling her to go find me. The primitive section of her brain doesn't want to risk smelling like another man when she gives herself to me, she wants me to know she's completely mine. We do things together she tells you she never would. Her pooper? Mine. I want to give her a facial? of course. I want her to suck the cum out of my dick, even though I just finished pumping away at her ass? she's never going to tell me no. She doesn't WNAT to tell me no. She wants me to know she'll do anything it takes to keep me. She'll rim my ass while she's down there sucking me off if it means pleasing me. She'll drink my cum from a shotglass. She'll wear a buttplug when we go out to dinner. She'll sleep handcuffed to my headboard. Anything.
And then she'll go home to you and tell you she's not in the mood today.
I'd say you should become an hero, but you being aruond makes her want a real man all the more, so keep fagging it up emo bitches, I'll keep that pussy warm while you're crying in the corner.

 

Join Date: Nov 2011

I should have guessed.

 

this 12-year-old is so original



like i even care about my join date

 

In human-computer interaction, cut and paste and copy and paste are related commands that offer a user-interface interaction technique for transferring text, data, files or objects from a source to a destination. Most ubiquitously, users require the ability to cut and paste sections of plain text. The cut command removes the selected data from its original position, while the copy command creates a duplicate; in both cases the selected data is placed in a clipboard. The data in the clipboard is later inserted in the position where the paste command is issued.

The command names are an interface metaphor based on the physical procedure used in manuscript editing to create a page layout.

This interaction technique has close associations with related techniques in graphical user interfaces that use pointing devices such as a computer mouse (by drag and drop, for example).

History

The term "cut and paste" comes from the traditional practice in manuscript-editings whereby people would literally cut paragraphs from a page with scissors and physically paste them onto another page. This practice remained standard as late as the 1970s. Stationery stores formerly sold "editing scissors" with blades long enough to cut an 8½"-wide page. The advent of photocopiers made the practice easier and more flexible.

The act of copying/transferring text from one part of a computer-based document ("buffer") to a different location within the same or different computer-based document was a part of the earliest on-line computer editors. As soon as computer data entry moved from punch-cards to online files (in the mid/late 1960s) there were "commands" for accomplishing this operation. This mechanism was often used to transfer frequently-used commands or text snippets from additional buffers into the document, as was the case with the QED editor.[1]

The earliest editors, since they were designed for "hard-copy" terminals, provided keyboard commands to delineate contiguous regions of text, remove such regions, or move them to some other location in the file. Since moving a region of text required first removing it from its initial location and then inserting it into its new location various schemes had to be invented to allow for this multi-step process to be specified by the user.

Often this was done by the provision of a 'move' command, but some text editors required that the text be first put into some temporary location (AKA, "the clipboard") for later retrieval/placement.

Although the mechanism was already in widespread use in early line and character editors, Lawrence G. Tesler (Larry Tesler) popularized "cut and paste" in the context of computer-based text-editing while working at Xerox Corporation Palo Alto Research Center (PARC) in 1974–1975.[2]

Apple Computer widely popularized the computer-based cut-and-paste paradigm through the Lisa (1983) and Macintosh (1984) operating systems and applications. Apple mapped the functionalities to key-combinations consisting of the Command key (a special modifier key) held down while typing the letters X (for cut), C (for copy), and V (for paste), choosing a handful of keyboard sequences to control basic editing operations. The keys involved all cluster together at the left end of the bottom row of the standard QWERTY keyboard, and each key is combined with a special modifier key to perform the desired operation:

Z to undo
X to cut
C to copy
V to paste

Control-V was first used for paste in the QED editor.[1]

CUA (for OS/2) also uses combinations of the Insert, Del, Shift and Control keys. Early versions of Windows used the IBM standard. Microsoft later adopted the Apple style key-combinations with the introduction of Windows, choosing the control key as their modifier key which had previously been reserved for sending control characters.

Similar patterns of key combinations, later borrowed by others, remain widely available today in most GUI text editors, word processors, and file system browsers.

 

Dw man, I'm sure you can do sexual favours for an admin and have them change your join date.

 

stop replying craptop, you can't reach his level of dope

 

It's OK, kid, it's OK. You're trying to make me get mad, but you're failing so hard the only thing you're doing is embarrassing yourself and losing the little respect you had. I've really never seen such a cancerigenous asswipe in the net like you.

I've had enough lulz laughing at your 12-year-old face, bai.

 

So, I'm 20 and my girlfriend's 19, we've been dating for months now. And all of a sudden this guy named Joe comes out of nowhere into my life (he's my new co-worker at my company). Pretty soon I find out he has no money, no place of residence. Basically he moved here for the job and can no longer afford his hotel. So, being the nice guy that I am, I decide to open up to him. I keep him in my apartment for weeks, bro is pretty cool. We play the vidya, drinks beers, watch football, it's good times. This continues for several months.


Afterwards, I find out my girlfriend is pregnant, so by all tradition, I have to marry her now. One night, I'm eating out at dinner with her. Joe had decided to stay at the office late for some overtime. I pop the question to my girlfriend. And then here comes a revelation out of nowhere. She admits she was raped by Joe and the baby isn't mine. She says she isn't ready to make a commitment any more after being violated. You can imagine this makes me mad. I go home in a wild rage. I throw out all of Joe's stuff, and I am gonna kill him when he gets home. He finally come back at about 1AM maybe. And as soon as he opens the door, I punch him in his bastard face. His eye swells up like a boll of cotton. He swings at me, but I dodge and sweep his leg, causing him to fall down. I am in a giant rage now. I go to the kitchen, grab the meatcleaver out of the drawer, and go back to confront Joe. He jumps in his car and hightails it out of there. I haven't seen or heard from him since.



So anyway, I'm on the phone a month later with my brother, and he finally asks why I've been so depressed. I tell him that if it hadn't been from cotton-eye Joe, I'd been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

 

Shut the fuck up little bitch.