Really Big Issue

To make a long story short, I met an amazing girl at a party a month ago. We talked for hours and I ended up getting her number. I followed up a couple days later and figured out that we have similar friends, attend similar parties, and that she's a senior in high school and 17 years old. I'm a freshman at college but am also 17 as I skipped a grade. Anyway, we chilled a couple times with various people, and at the next party we saw each other we ended up hooking up and having sex. The next day (last Sunday) I felt completely ecstatic -- this beautiful, kind, smart girl had just launched herself into my life! I felt enormously optimistic and was sure I could start a lasting relationship. Unfortunately, that was cut short quite prematurely. Around 4 that afternoon I was sitting in my friend's room when I get a text from her telling me that she needs to tell me something. Suspecting nothing, I told her to go for it. She then goes on to tell me that she is in fact not 17: she's 14, and she's a freshman in HIGH SCHOOL. I was caught completely off guard and couldn't say a word; it was like my world was caving in. I somehow managed to respond "I'll text you later."

The next couple of days I pretty much just moped around and let myself be crushed and upset. I now come to you Sythe. What can I do?

There were literally no indications of her age at all. She looks, acts and has the intelligence of someone my age or older.

Edit: Update posted at bottom.

 

Don't mind rebo and his RP2012 sig.

My advice would be this - If this girl means a lot to you, keep her. It will feel awkward for a couple weeks/months, but if you are determined, you can start a lasting relationship with her. She sounds like a wonderful girl (beautiful, kind, smart, as you mentioned) and I see no reason why you can't be together.
Also, even though she did lie to you, don't feel angry towards her. It probably took a lot of courage to admit that she was only 14, but that just shows she cares for you.

Thats just what I think. Hope I helped, and good luck

 

My advice, to be taken with a grain of salt.

• Drop her.
• Drop her.
• Drop her.

I can't tell you how many dudes my girlfriend's sister has pulled this one on. She does it, and expects way more than a hookup and then when she break up with them or vice versa she threatens 'statutory rape' and sends them through hell. Although she never reports them. You are looking at nothing but trouble and possibly heartbreak. I'm not saying she's a bitch, I am saying you can't trust fourteen year olds boys or girls. Think about all the fourteen year olds you know and ask yourself 'Do they seem like reasonable people ?'.

I've been in a similar situation and thank god the underage girl was cool, when her friend accused me of rape , she defended me and denied we did ANYTHING. I've known guys that weren't so lucky.

Off topic:

@Swift. Ron Paul rocks, get off his jock.

 

14-17 isn't that big of a deal. I know a kid that's 20 dating a 15 year old and a 30 year old dating a 16 year old, now that's nasty, but yeah, a 17 year old dating a 14 year old isn't bad at all, I know many people who are doing that.

 

Honestly man, age shouldn't matter at all if you like the person. I am 20, and normally would never consider dating somebody 3 years younger than me - ONLY because most people that age are just alot more immature than me and I probably just wouldn't have as much in common with them and couldn't hold an interest beyong a physical/sexual attraction.

However, before you found out how old this girl was you said you were completely enthralled with her. She is beautiful, intelligent, and a kind person who you could see yourself having a relationship with. If you like her, and shes not an immature annoying 14 year old, then who gives a shit how old she is. The only thing that might make a difference is the fact that she is not of legal age, but technically at 17, neither are you. So it could work

Don't listen to everyone who is saying drop her and move on. Listen to YOU, and your heart and what you feel is right. If this girl is really that special to you and appears/acts years beyond her age, then it shouldn't matter at all that shes 3 years younger than you. 3 years isn't even that big of a difference either.. It may seem so when your under 20 years old, but when your over that hump many couples have large gaps between the ages. What really matters is her level of maturity, and whether she stimulates you intellectually, can hold a good conversation, and if she is kind, caring, compassionate, and ambitious about her future and serious about having a relationship with you. If she is dating material then I wouldn't worry too much about it. She sounds like a gem from what you've described so far!

 

don't chase them, replace them.. great rule of thumb.

also i fucked many 14-20 year olds when i was 15-17 and now im 18 all the youngins on my balls and its annoying as fuck... ill tell you this, dont get involved with the young bitches, they crazy and stupid as hell lolol.

 

Don't get involved with her.

 

[*]Drop her.
[*]Drop her.
[*]Drop her.

yeahh leave her alone until shes legal. its not worth it to have something like that on your record. and shes 14 going to parties that older people go to? i did the same thing when i was 14 but im a male and its different. dont get too caught up in her theres alot of other girls and shes just one out of a million.

 

I met my 17 yo wife when I was 20. We got married a month after she turned 18.

Both of us were consenting adults, but if you say you are both 'mature', then I imagine sex isn't a problem, and you two can remain close, but distant couples, if you know what I mean?

Friends with hand holding... that's bout it .

 

A few words, inb4thehair, age is only a number & prison is only a room.

Now seriously, I have underage friends dating with people in their mid 20's and from what I hear the age barrier conflicts way too much with their relationship.

 

age is just a number, maybe lay off the sex just b a friend to her and make things how they were before u knew this bombshell, if u really liked her lyk u described u wouldnt care about something childish as a number

 

As long as your legal (which you are) go for it. I had a girl who was a freshman while I was a senior, felt a bit like a predator but I didn't care about the age difference. The age difference becomes relatively more narrow as you continue. I was 18 while she was 14 almost 15, so you have no shame

 

The only real problem here is that you had sex. As long as you don't do that anymore until she's a little older, I'm sure you could make it work if you wanted to.

Of course, that being said it would be much harder than dating someone who was your age. It's all up to you, just ask yourself; Are you committed to it?

 

Thanks for all the responses guys. I read them all and took them into consideration. As an update for the thread, basically I texted her back and we continued talking and I pretty much was ready to start at least some form of a relationship. Unfortunately, however, her distant friend found out about what happened and messaged her posing as some kind of Crimestoppers agent. He tried to scare her off by telling her that I'm a registered offender (which doesn't even make sense considering I'm 17) and that my web searches involve excessive rape and child pornography. She pretty much took the bait and became terrified of me -- I tried to explain it was fake but she completely ignored me for almost two weeks. I started feeling horribly depressed.
Anyway, yesterday she finally texted me telling me that she doesn't completely believe the person, and that she wants to talk and possibly hang out, but she is still worried and a bit cautious. I was happy that she came back but our conversation was totally dry, and to top it off she started talking about this "hot guy" she's hitting it off with. I don't even know anymore...

 

Goodluck, 3 years isn't too big of a difference.

 

If you're going to continue dating her, keep in mind that the relationship can't be sexual by the time you turn 18. Even though the age difference is questionable, think about what you really want out of the relationship before you make a final decision.

I know that when I dated an older girl, it really helped me figure out what kind of person I want to be with.

 

I started dating my girlfriend when I was 15 and she was 18. To this day I am 18 and she's 21. It's not that big of a deal, and sometimes it will get to you, as well as her, but in the end, as long as the love is there, it's worth it.

 

if you really care about her then you'll let the age part go, and if you could wait till you both are fully legal then that would be good too

 

Can anyone address this directly?