Lonely :( Need advice.

Good news, found my skype user name: nick.stevenson9

 

Helped me out when I was in your situation. Sorry that it didn't help with yours.

 

I know you said you want guy friends but that could be harder so start texting a girl and ask her out..

 

Well, here we go. Monday morning, heading off to Hell itself, ill be on later.

 

Well, today was better, i talked a lot more at the end of the day. Well see if i can keep it up tomorrow.

 

Good, let us know your progress

 

Will do

 

Speaking from general experience here -

Join a club, sports team, something that will help you engage with others with similar interests. Don't be that clingy guy that finds one friend and holds onto them; just be the friend you would want to have.

When you leave school you realize all the opportunities you could have had, picking up a new sport, even if you suck at it - struggling through something with others can be a bonding experience.

If that's not your type of thing, try to be an observer rather than a recluse, make outward judgments on the people around you.

For example: rather than sitting alone at lunch, try people watch - find someone you think you can identify with, whether it's a book they're carrying or simply if they're in the same class with you. Watch their mannerisms and try learn about the people you're dealing with.

My last bit of advice is to try read up on a bit of social engineering. Although I don't fully agree with it because I believe you should be your own person, a lot of the methods definitely work, specifically your body language.

Also, just don't beat yourself up about it the more you think about it the more you're going to wind yourself up and not actually engage anyone.

If you find any of this particularly useful feel free to PM me and I can help you out in any way possible.

 

I already, do some of this, im in ROTC and have been in since the start of the year. I do observe but iv always observed and i guess i kinda do take notes here and there.

Anyways today was sorta the same as yesterday, not much but i guess a little progress.

 

Have a bit of a drink, and get a bit tipsy. People in this state seem to be a lot more natural & confident. You can see how you are and try to lean towards that behaviour normally, slowly making it your sober behavior yay.

 

You're expectations are way too high. you think that if you talk to someone you want them to be your best friend and like you. Truth is that not everyone you talk to you will be your friend or like you. The best thing to do is strike up small conversations, essentially small talk. Try to joke around a bit. Honestly you have to get over your fear of being judged.

 

I used to have the same similar problem in highschool, especially my freshmen year. What you should do since you said you want a guy friend to talk about sports with? you should join maybe football or start taking weight training after school. Im not sure if your highschool does a after school weight training course, but pretty much all you do is show up and work out for an hour or so after school ends (usually with the football/soccer/baseball team) its great man there's usually cute girls and it would be a great oppurtinity for you to meet new people. (ask guys for advice on reps, see if someone will spot you and pretty much just strike up a "bro" conversation)

I think your problem is your in a rut man. All bullshit aside you need to learn to love yourself for you and start not giving a fuck what people think about you. All you need to do is learn how to talk to people and ask them in the right way too hang out with you. Find what group you fit in too and go from there.
look man life fucking sucks and at the end of the day we all want to be accepted by everyone. If you thought highschool sucks wait until you get out and never see any of your old friends. Or when you have to work two jobs to be able to pay all your bills.

 

I dont drink for one thing, Expect on occasions when im at home doing a party or something

I really dont see how my expectations are high? Other then wanting people to talk to. Anyways im slowly resolving this issue and im getting better at talking to people at school.

I will say on the other hand my expectations for girls are pretty high but im now im in a "rut" with 2 girls.

1. The girl i described in this thread i found out thinks im hot and she wants me to ask her out. But me on the other hand i dont really want to because she meets my expectations in one hand, but on another she doesnt. Also i dont want to ruin the friendship we have if we do break up.

2. There is another girl that i have talked to since 8th grade. And she asked for my phone number like 2 years ago. Well ever since i came back from living where i did, (i transferred to another school then came back) she has been texting me a lot more. Now she meets my expectations in all of them, shes hot, she has a good personality and she isnt a bitchy high school girl. Anyways she has a BF but of course im not goin against that but if she breaks up idk if i should ask her out or not. But if she does break up im not sure if she really does like me or if she is just being kind, and i dont want to ask her out if she was only being kind. So what should i do?

 

I'd ask the first girl out, just because you don't wanna ruin a friendship if you broke up isn't a good enough reason. If she likes you, then there's no reason to be just friends anymore. If you guys get along well then it will probably be fine, just don't be the jealous type that freaks out if she talks to a guy or whatnot. As for the second girl, if she's texting you a lot more and flirting with you and she has a boyfriend, she's borderline slutty and if you dated her, she would most likely do the same shit to you that she's doing to her current boyfriend.

 

Nah, she doesnt flirt, but when she was single she did flirt. She isnt that type of girl and if you saw her you would know what im talking about.