Hello Syth, Its me again.

Hey everybody. I'm guessing most of you have read my threads.? As you may or may not have read. I have really bad boyfriend problems. In a older thread dated back a couple months ago. He went camping lied to me who he was with. And then we broke up. I was devastated. All i wanted was him back.

Well I have great news, We are finally back. Expect its been like i said a couple months now... And Hes changed.. In a good way.? Kinda.

So. During are time away. I guess he 'feel in love' with this 18 year old girl. (were 15) and she played him. When they where together she would tell him that she loved him. and then i guess a few days later shed have a knew boyfriend. and i guess she did this twice to him and he was devastated. And he said he realized what he had been doing to girls and has changed.

Now as are relationship has started. He has trouble saying I love you. He isn't affectionate at all. and he acts like a start up wimp. I know for a fact that now he is to much of a 'P U S S Y' to cheat on me... But There's another problem... Am i so scared of losing him ill let him walk all over me.?

Today we had plans to see a movie. At 9pm. Its going on 7 pm. I texted him telling him ill get him in a hour. He responses:
Him: I'm at nicks.
Me: Oh. Ok. I can get you last minute if you want.
Him: Well.. can nick come.?
Me: Uhm... Idk.
Him: Never mind, I'm just gonna stay here.

He 100% ditched me. And I wasn't about to say it to him. Because if i did..
First: He'd think i didn't want him to hang out with his friends.
Second: He'd think I was to controlling.
and third: He'd think I want every second of every day with him...

Soo Here I am. Sitting home alone. With no plans. Because everybody has plans already...

What do i do.? Without pushing him away.?

 

What me and my girlfriend have done is made a rule.
If we plan something in advance, we can't back out of it.
If my mates invite me out somewhere on that day I'll say no I have plans, but if I don't have plans and o agree to go out with them and then my girlfriend calls I'll tell her I'm out with my mates.

Try and do something like that with him, although I'm my personal opinion I do not see your relationship going anywhere and based on what you have said I'm guessing you'll break up sometime soon, months of even weeks. But I have never seen a relationship like that work.

 

To be honest, it seems as if he doesn't care to begin with. So, even trying to work things out will be somewhat pointless. You can't salvage what isn't there.

 

Follow something like this. If anything, incorporate the two. Talk to both your friends, and your partner's friends, and see if there can be times where the two of you can do things. But don't force it. If you know your partner is going to be busy, don't call in at the last minute and force them to bring you with.

The key is talking about it. Communication keeps it strong.

 

In my opinion, you should have just said it was alright for his friend to come.
Usually if a guy goes with his friend and his friend's girl to something, especially a movie, he should know that he needs to piss off during, but can still hang before and after.

It's just a honor thing, don't really know how to explain it... meat-heads like to call it "bro-code"

That way you would have been able to go to the movie with him and he wouldn't feel like you don't like his friend, or that you were trying to take him away from his friend.

 

First: he may have admitted his past wrongs, but there's a saying along the lines of "birds of a feather." You need to be careful, because people who do such things tend to slip again. Consider it like this: the vast majority (around 90% or so I think I read) of people that go to rehab get back in to drugs again. This is no different. He MAY have genuinely changed, but you should always take what he says with a grain of salt or you'll just end up hurt. Again.

Second, it doesn't really appear as if he cares much at all if what you're saying is true. Lots of guys are like that; they use a girl under the facade of love but really they're only stroking their own ego. Often they don't even realise it.

Were I you, I wouldn't even be going out with him. You need to think about what's good for YOU. It's hard, and it hurts, but if you let him walk all over you it'll only hurt you. If not, you also take the risk of him repeating what he's done in the past. If not, he sounds like the kind of person who will lose interest. Basically it's a choice between being a pretty accessory for him, taking ill-fated risks, or breaking up with him. Only you can choose what to do though.

 

If he constantly ditches you when you both have plans, then I think something is up. Honestly, I can see where he come's from, with the part of him not saying "I love you" anymore, because that's not really meant for young kids to say to each other. But if he continues to ditch you, then he's trying to avoid you for some reason, and I would suggest you find out, before it's something extremely important(such as hanging out with different girls, although i'm not saying that). But it would almost seem, as he is trying to avoid you for some reason. Honestly, he shouldn't because you seem like a very genuine person, and honestly, he should be thankful to have you. And he should respect, when you & him make plans 100%.

 

Dump him. It's a hopeless cause.

 

Well. Now. He dumped me.

He wanted us on the DL. And i told a friend who couldnt keep her mouth shout... And now Were over. Soo now im upset crying and very vonrable. Please somebody what do i do. All i want is him... ALL I WANT. What do i do,

 

This happens all to often and sorry this is happening to you, love.

As a boy, I love to feel as if I am the "alpha" in the relationship.
However, I will never back out of plans for the boys.

Boys think this way "Aw, I'm not pussy whipped over my mrs, fuck that." because they don't want to feel as if they're on the leash to they're partner, but that doesn't have to be the case. I'm 17, and I've been with my girlfriend for over 13 months and we have very clear "rules". If we make plans, we stick to them unless its 100% urgent(family matter, etc). I take her everywhere, I chill with her when I'm chilling with the boys, because I can act the same around both parties.

I have a lot of female friends with the same problem, and it's easy to say "aw, fuck him off, he's not worth your time", but if you're in love like you say you are, it's not that easy.

Try being honest with him without making him feel as if you're trying to overshadow him with power, etc.

If he really cares about you, he'll understand.

Keep me posted on what happens!

 

Do you have skype? We can chat(not video/audio, ofcourse) easier over this and I can help you out a bit

PM me regardless.

 

You're only 15. This isn't the end of the world, no matter what your brain says. It's a learning experience. There will always be more people out there. Coming from a guy who had a similar breakup at 15, I'm fine now. It took a month or two, but I finally came to terms with it.

 

I have a facebook.. Add me there.?


http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000084114190

 

done.