A Spiral of Hell

Wall of text, be prepared​

Hello my name is Taylor and this may be the wrong section as im not here for emotional support rather to share my story, and to give your a first person account of how doing drugs recreationally can soon translate into a full blown drug addiction. I am not refering to myself, rather my brother who is 27. I only hope you never have to go through what my brother and our family has gone through.

Let me first state that i am in no way "anti drugs." I smoke and drink occasionally, however it is apparent to me now just how quickly the ocasional drinker/smoker can soon progress into much more serious drugs. This statement doesnt pertain to every drug user, but it is a forewarning that should not be taken likely.

My brother is 27 years old and is a college graduate with a major in business and a minor in communications. He is very talented when it comes to computers and worked for my father's internet company for 8 years when he was in highschool and throughout college. When he finally graduated college, he decided to open up his own computer repair/network consulting company (similiar to geek squad in a sense.) He managed to build up a pretty decent clientale over the 3 years he ran it for, and managed to make $120k in the 2009-2010 year. Yet what does he have to show for it today? Nothing, literally nothing.

My brother experimented with recreational drugs like most of us in highschool. Mainly pot and alchohol, and psychadelic's a few times, however nothing more came of it and he was still able to function. A few years went by a he then started going to concerts like "sts9, flaming lips, wakarusa," shit like that and began to get back into the psychadelic world. These side trips began to become more frequent, and started interfering with his business. He quickly got behind and was becoming more and more stressed. This is when he decided to take percocet for the first time. (this was roughly a year ago.) This lasted for a few months until it got quite a bit worse, to where he started comming home high. and would nod off mid conversation. This scared me pretty bad, which drove me to tell my parents about his problem. It was somewhat of a home intervention and he promised to stop, and we all honestly thought he did. He was apparently very good at hiding it.

Skip ahead to June this year, and he is showing the same symptoms as last time. We believe he is taking pills again and confront him, and he admits to have been taking pills again but he has been lowering the dosage every day trying to wean of them. A few days later we get a call from his girlfriend (she has been with him for about a year,) and she says she needs to talk. We go over there and she tells us that my brother has been lying to us, that he is now shooting up oxycotin. It felt as if I was just punched in the stomach, making it difficult to grasp for air. The only thing i could think of at that time was how me and my brother used to watch the show "intervention" and just laugh at the misfortunate people on there, at how they could be such dumbasses to allow their lives to get to that point. And yet here we are in the same situation, with the same problem.

Why is this a spiral of hell? Firstly there is literally nothing left in my brothers previously fully furnished house. He has pawned everything; Couches, ps3, big screen tv, grill, fridge, lawn mower, cell phone, and here is the kicker, just today he pawned his car. His only means of transport he pawned for a measly $300. He has driven his credit into the ground by using his credit card to pay for doctor appointments for his "smurfs" and getting them prescribed oxycottin. At which point he takes 3/4 of the prescription and they get the other 1/4. He only has his house right now becuase my father has paid his house payment this month (he has only had the house for 4 months,) and will soon lose it, even though he has no electricity or water. This drug will literally pull you by the balls down to hell.

Im left sitting here wondering when the realization of the situation will rush over my brother. When he realises that he has literally torn the hearts out of my parents and pretty much spit in their faces with all the lies that surrounds him. It diddnt hit me until I walked into my dads room, to where I found him uncontrollably crying becuase he felt so defenseless to the world that surrounded my brother. It takes it all out of you knowing that you cannot prevent an innevitable death, unless the person (my brother) decideds that he does want help. That he does want to live.

Now that I have reached the end of my paper it does seem that this was a way for me to vent. I am hurt, I am angry, I am upset, but mostly im in disbelief. Disbelief at how fast an innocent recreational hobby can quickly turn into a life of pain, focused on getting the next fix. If you do know anyone that might be potentially in a bad position and needs help, swallow your pride and do what is right. Dont worry about being a snitch; Its better to lose a friendship then to lose the life of a friend.

 

There's lots that I could say, but since you indicated this is more your story then a cry for help, all I say say is don't be like your brother.

 

yea no shit haha

 

I was addicted to Oxy, I used for about 6 months, I've now been clean for a bit over 7. It sucks, the only one who knew besides my dealers is my current girlfriend. I still suffer withdrawals occasionally and my body still aches for it sometimes, it's scary and I'm so glad my family never found out, because I know how much it'd hurt them. I'm sorry for what your brother and you have had to go through. But man, get him help, because it's SO hard to stop. So hard.

 

he just agreed to go into rehab on the 17th, but we will see how it plays out. Maybe he figures his run is over since he doesnt have anything left to sell, but i guess he could always resort to panhandeling/stealing. I do hope he gets help, but im not holding my breath.

 

Honestly I don't understand addictions... I've tried chain smoking, drinking, weed, oxycodine... Never gotten addicted to any of them (although drinking was fun). Sure I craved them, but I always had the ability to say no. :s

 

Yea there are alot of factors that play into it, like friends/willpower etc.