How to not be a dick/hypocrite.

Ok so, over all, I consider myself a nice, honest, fun-loving guy that is interested in finding a sweet, innocent, cute girl. A lot of friends and people I know, know I am single, and know I am always looking. Sometimes they even try to pair me up on dates, which is all good except for one thing. I run an average of 5 - 7 miles a day, on top of other exercise, and consider good health fairly important. I often post statuses on Facebook like, just want a nice, sweet, innocent, cute girl for once. This shouldn't be a problem except for when larger girls start hitting on me. Let me get this out of the way before anyone prematurely judges me, if you are overweight, I have NO PROBLEM with it, and I am not calling you ugly, or making you to be less, by ANY means, please don't think that's why I am here. I simply do NOT find it attractive, yet I have no clue how to tell someone without coming across as an asshole or a hypocrite.

An example:
I have a MyYearbook account, if you don't know what it is, simply google it. Basically, I posted a status saying tired of whores etc... cute, simple, nice girls, message me. A girl messages me saying hi, and saying I was cute, and I did not find her attractive. She was fairly overweight, and for me, I simply do not find this physically attractive at all, and no matter how much people would like to say, "It's the inside that counts." Yes, the inside matters too, but a relationship cannot work if the two people are not at least SOMEWHAT mutually attracted to eachother. I tried to nicely tell her, I was interested in slightly athletic chicks, and she instantly goes on the defensive saying if I was going to be that way, I should have simply put, no fat chicks, in my status, and told me basically I was an ass and a hypocrite for saying I wanted a sweet girl, then turning around and saying anyone fat is not cute. I did not mean this, I was simply trying to tell her, I PERSONALLY did not find it attractive...

Halp?

 

Why did you reply to her? if you don't find her attractive just ignore her, if you didn't want to ignore her cause you would feel bad, then nicely tell her you're not interested in her that she's not your type. I understand that you're not attractive to fat girls i find it unattractive too, but some people are attractive to fat girls, so just tell her that she's not your type she shouldn't feel bad for that.

 

Sorry.. the no fat chicks comment made me sorta smile, but.. hrmm. Well, you shouldn't personally feel bad about it- but you were right not to lead her on. I recommend if you're going to look for athletic chicks, to try to loosen up a bit and meet girls at the YMCA, or maybe at track meetings- If you're over 18, you'll have a FEW more problems with that- If you're in college, you're likely to be fine. Don't bother wasting time looking for someone that's all that innocent. You're not going to find many track running sluts, but dependent on your age, you might be hard pressed to find many virgins. I say, keep your standards on the type of person you want to date open, become friends with girls who share you interest in health, and just find the type of person that makes you happy. If you become close, maybe you could go on a date or two. I don't recommend dating online (even though I'm currently in a WONDERFUL ldr), especially if you're looking for athletic girls. Maybe that's a stereotype? ^,^ That's my.. 2 cents.

 

MyYearbook is for e-whores, IDK why you expect anything else. I mean, look at the site.

Try to widen your standard at least just a bit, but start hanging out in social circles that promote fitness and health (kind of opposite of the computer and internet).

 

Oh thank god there are people who are smart enough to tl;dr my rants D: I really couldn't make mine go any shorter... I just go on and on. Anyway, I agree with this, if you're in college or high school you can easily join some athletic club with girls in it and get to know them. If you're out, then you're limited to the gym and health food stores X D and maybe online health websites. Who knows! Women are like raindrops, there are too many to count.

 

Well the question wasn't posed directly at MYB. I often go to tracks to run, as well as hang out with healthier people, I was just using that as an example. I have had problems with it from friends trying to set me up as well. I tell them they are not my type, and the usual response is why? Because I'm fat? and then I just kinda get at a loss for words because technically yes, although it just seem harsh to phrase it that way... Idk...

 

Hrmm.. you shouldn't say they're not your type, but if you go on a date with them, you should finish the date, be really nice, and then not ask them on another. Going on a date is fine, and can be passed off as a friendly thing- it is in most cultures. I recommend not letting your friends set you up on dates, particularly not if they don't even know your type of women.

 

I have the same problem you do, ive always been chubby/fat my young life and sometime in high school i decided to change it and became very active and now am pursuiting my goal of becoming an MMA fighter in which i became a vegan to get even more healthy. So my view on girls has always been I would pretty much want to date another athletic/sporty/outdoor kinda girl, that is also sweet/nice/cute doesnt have to be major hottness i mean cmon...and i get turned off seeing girls act like sluts, whores, or like you said chubby/fat girls. So my advice to you is and through my experience that you first of all dont post that kinda stuff just cuz of your results, second...if a chubby girl does message you just simply talk to her a little and if u stop responding quickly after a while they go away [this has worked for me numerous times] and if that doesnt work just be honest with her, and not your kinda honest. i mean tell her i see you as a friend rather than a spouse or some shit like that.

anyway i can ramble about this forever, but if you have anymore questions feel free to PM me. Best of luck man! keep up the healthy living!

 

Never ever bring up appearances with unattractive girls!
Even though you'd be lying its still less of a dick move to tell them you're not interested in any girlfriend whatsoever then youre only interested in attractive girls.

DG4L you shouldn't be trying to lose your fat then build up fresh muscle, its much easier to transition from fat straight to muscle! Don't give up meat xD

 

"Sorry, I'm not into you like that."

ez.

 

It is hypocritical to say you want a sweet girl, then a sweet girl with a characteristic that you didn't list is the problem in you two talking/seeing each other. You just told us what you want, so whats the problem with telling your friends. "I want a sweet, caring girl whos very athletic and enjoys running and hiking."

Stop being helpless and acting like those girls that did nothing wrong are the problem.

 

For me what works is just saying "I'm not attracted to you." and if they ask why? or is it because...? I usually cut them off and say "You can't change my mind about how attracted I am to you."