Normally don't do this but just checking.

First off, I'm not needing major help, just want to see peoples sides to this. Say whatever you guys think of the situation, don't feel bad saying asshole or anything like that.

I'll keep it short and sweet.

Met this girl, became good friends. She had a boyfriend and kept messing with me saying I wish we could've met earlier and all this. (We never hooked up but we almost did like twice. But she was "too nice" to break up with her boyfriend)

They broke up, we started talking on graduation night (She said I couldn't tell anyone for a bit because she didn't want her bf to feel bad). She went on a trip and on the trip told me she's not ready for a boyfriend and she wants to hook up with other people. When she got back she called me and said "I guess I'll be in another relationship" as in she wants to be with me. Sounded like she didn't want to exactly, but we were still "talking" at the time.

I hooked up with a girl I used to talk to like 2 years ago and told her about it, she didn't care. 2 days later I had sex with her friend. I was drunk and all that, but I didn't use that as an excuse. I told her after we hooked up that I liked her friend and that we hooked up hoping that it would stop it. It didn't and it happened. I couldn't tell her about us exactly because she didn't want it out. It happened a total of 3 times with the girl, everytime I was drunk. There was a time when she was even sober, which is f'd up in my opinion...

We were about to date and the girl told the girl I was talking to about us. She said she couldn't talk to me anymore or get back with me because she can't get back with a cheater. I'm not saying what I did was good or anything, because I felt bad and she gave me another chance.

Just looking to see what you guys think...
I actually do love the girl and she has strong feelings for me. She gave me another chance and we're talking again.

 

Stop getting drunk and cheating on this girl. I know this sounds silly and a stupid answer, but it really is, from what I'm reading, a serious issue and roadblock between you two.

 

Aslong as you try, there's nothing I can say bad about you.

 

Yeah I stopped doing all that. I don't even hang out with the people who party anymore.

 

I think that's amazing. Keep up the good work.

 

Kind of a random response, makes me wonder if you even read it.

I usually get the responses along the lines of douchebag or asshole. But thanks if you actually read it.

 

Just be more cautious and try not to lose control when drinking alcohol or using substances, no offense but it is your fault and she speaks the truth when she says she doesn't want to be with a cheater

 

Oh you guys can say whatever you want, I won't get offended. I'm not drinking or doing anything illegal anymore though so I won't even have this problem. I'm glad I got a second chance, because I'm proving to her that I'm actually not like that.

 

You're lucky that you got a second chance, the girl in question seems like a very pleasant companion, so try your best to stay level headed and prove to her that you're in it for the long run and you should be fine

 

Oh I did everything I could, from talking to her mom and sister about the situation to getting her flowers and all of that. So I'm glad it worked out for me. Just takes time to get back to where we were, I think everything will be fine.

 

Glad everything worked out

 

Thanks

 

Believe it or not I am actually in a very similar spot as you, even down to some of the smaller details.

Just don't drink too much or party too hard, if you do make sure to do it with her, and if she can't be there, make sure you talk/text with her while you are partying.

 

Hahah that's crazy man, everything work out with your girl though? We are going good now though. Going to a resort with her in 20 days as well.

As for partying, I don't even do that anymore. She had a bad experience and she doesn't go to them as of like 3 weeks ago? Somewhere around that time. So I just figured I'd stop too. However, if I did I'd ask her to go with me.

 

I feel like he meant the fact that you've changed is amazing, and that you've started to hang around different people, not that you've done all the stuff, just to clarify. But if you've changed congrats, you'll soon realize how much better life is. I used to be along the same lines, now I'm in a healthy stable relationship even if my gf is in college, it's great.

 

Yeah I have changed, I mean I still hang out with the same people I party with every once in a while.. But it's not to party or anything like that. It will be to play basketball or something along those lines. I haven't drank or anything in over a month now.

 

Hey, you sound like me when you're drunk.

Anyways, is it just me misreading the story or were you guys not dating at the time when you hooked up with the other chick?

 

You get my side a bit. We were talking, not dating.

 

Exactly. I don't see how you did anything wrong.

If the chick you're talking to EXPLICITLY says she doesn't want a relationship, doesn't ask you out/you ask her out, then she has no right to complain if you get drunk and hook up with another chick.

I mean, obviously she doesn't see it from that perspective, so there's no point in arguing with her. I would apologize, and tell her you'd never cheat in a relationship. If she accepts that, then great, ask her out and enjoy. If not, she's a dumbass, and you shouldn't waste your time on her.

 

I did, I apologized, got her flowers, all that good stuff. I asked her out Thursday and we've been good ever since.