Insecure

Yeah, I might not seem it over the web, but this is my main life.

In the real wide world, I am really insecure.

Whenever I walk, I feel as if I'm walking incorrectly (I am pin-toed)
Whenever I talk, I feel as if I'm talking strangely (My voice is rather hoarse)
Whenever I do anything, it feels like I'm doing it wrong. Not physically, but mentally.

Over the past few months, I've gone from BMI of 20, to 24. I've grown 7", but put on over 20KG. That's a shitload of weight.

I am getting "fat" atm, where there is excess weight. I just need to get outside and exercise, but I am paranoid.

The only things I feel secure about is buying and selling things, as that's what my dad does, and farming irl

Advice?

 

What are you actually paranoid about? What people think of you--

My suggestion would be join a youth group, I realize they're being cut down, but there's still a lot of decent ones around. Good way to get active, and meet new people.
Alternatively, there's always the option to go clubbing with a few friends.

Cut down on the amount of time you spend online, if you feel you need help, get your parents or whomever, to stick time limits on your account, so even if you wanted to, you could only be online for a certain amount of time ea. day.

Cycling's a more relaxing way to shed a few pounds, should you feel the need.
Structure your day- Have an aim ea. day

Hope this helped -- Best of luck.

 

Cycling I do quite a lot, well until my bike broke.
The section that keeps the handlebars in line with the wheel has broke, so the wheel goes where it wants.

Also about clubbing, that's all I do with young farmers. Road trips, trips out etc. It's a good laugh, but outside that, I am different.
With YFC, I'm 16, the majority of them are 18-26. It's a different age group probably why I fit in better.

 

spend less time on runescape/sythe/youtube/the internet in general. this INCLUDES social media such as facebook/*******/myspace/ect.

 

20 kg is a lot of weight, but don't lose sight of the fact that you did grow 7 inches.

Go outside and try your best to be more social, find ways to bring your self esteem up which will allow you to walk with your chin up when you're in public. Another thing that helps is to be more assertive and try your confidence to family friends and relatives that you're familiar with.

Shake hands, eye contact, and try your best to keep a conversation rolling, if you don't like how you look than try your best to fit time to workout into your schedule.

From my past experiences and run-ins with you I know you're a nice guy with a lot to offer, just let it shine in person

 

I don't spend too much time on it, it's also I've finished school, and I live in a small hamlet in the middle of nowhere. The locals are ranging from 12-23, so I usually am with the older area, shame is, some are at work, and others at school and college, so I'm sat at home.

I try and be social. On the internet I am really confident, like in ******** I can have a laugh, as I know that anything I do there isn't going to reflect on me if I were just to leave Sythe. But things that I think aren't right like when I walk etc, they can reflect on me in the future.

As for working out, I went to the gym last year, it was the biggest waste of money ever. I tried a hard session, and I just couldn't do it. I'd be out of breath, etc. (cardio obv, not when doing weights). Also, my weight won't be helped by how I work. I am a farmer, so I sit around in tractors etc a lot. It sucks tbh.

 

From the sounds of it, it may not seem like it but i have the feeling that you are suffering a mild form of depression. Ive been like that before and going to the doctors will help trust me. You don't necessarily have to go on anti-depressants but even if you just talk to someone about how you feel (outside of your family and friends), it might help.

Sorry i haven't been able to help more.

 

Everyone walks, and talks differently. Who's to say your speaking too strange or walking "weird". Its just a confidence thing man, i don't know why but i never had issues like this. I always quite the opposite i thought whatever i done was correct and it was hard for me to learn other peoples styles.

Put it simply man, who cares how your walking? Not everyone is watching you. Not everyone is constantly judging you.

I personally think taking up a team sport would be the best for both your confidence and to loose some extra unwanted weight, the reason i suggest a "team" sport is because you will be less inclined to let them down so you will want to attend all training an game days. Whereas with a individual sport you can just say "fuck it" cant be bothered going to training today. If your not good at any particular sport, choose one you like and look for the reserve or B grade sides, or the fun teams just till you learn to ropes.

Honestly stop caring so much about what you think others are thinking about you, it will eventually eat your soul if you think too much about other people opinions.

 

aus, I used to play football, playing in Dubai and Malta for England Schools for Youth with my school, while I was there I was alright, as only a few people I'd see again, it's when it's people I see regularly my confidence drops.

 

A lot of insecurities are natural elements of adolescence. I don't know your age, but I suspect from the nature of your predicament that you're growing & maturing. These are simply difficulties that you will eventually transcend with age and are nothing to worry about. If you're looking to lose some weight and yet are uncomfortable exercising publically, you might try exercising indoors?

 

I have to be honest. The more 'out and about' you are, just out of the house, whether you're in the mall, with friends shopping whatever, instead of sitting at home playing runescape, you will automatically build more confidence and have alot more self esteem, and not be feeling all these things about yourself.

 

Yeah, I am tempted. I bought a rowing machine earlier, gonna set it up tomorrow.

Thanks for the advice, but thats when I get paranoid.

 

Once you are more used to being with the general public, socialising, you will automatically stop being paranoid, it will just take time.

 

Yeah. The best advice ever was given by FINN and ART in tc tonight. <3

 

Don't be! Im 22, weigh 154 pounds and can bench press 180 pounds. When i was 17 i was 264 Lbs and couldn't bench squat. You just have to set a goal and reach for it. Yes, it'll be hard. Yes, you wont like it but think in a few months or even weeks you'll look better than ever. And you think your doing everything wrong? even mentally? If there is a girl in your life then that's more than likely it. I know most of my friends get really nervous when they're around the girl that they love. Then always tell me that the "screwup" when i know that they don't. Anyway your probably a really awesome person irl and i hope for you the best! cheers!

 

Well, it's quite obvious that your very self-conscious, and also attentive as to how others perceive you negatively.

While the simple solution is 'don't be', a better way is, why?
Why do you think your walking incorrectly?
Why do you think that you talk strangely?
Why do you think that you do things mentally wrong?

A lot of unnecessary pain comes along with being self-conscious, and most of it is purely self inflicted. Don't worry about what other people think, everyone is different in their own unique way, it's what makes the human race so special. So what if one person says you walk funny, there are 6 billion other people in the world. Chances are you'll never see that person again, and even if you do, it's likely that they'd mean and latch onto such a remark.

As for your BMI, this is something you need to work on yourself. Go to the gym, don't worry what people think about you. No ones going to think negatively of you, and if they do, who cares? Don't allow the unnecessary weight of living your life for others weigh you down, let the ability to live life your self bring you up.

 

Why do you think your walking incorrectly?
Ever since I broke my foot, my right foot points in when I walk, and I can't help it. It can't be stopped either.
Why do you think that you talk strangely?
Occasionally, when I talk, I'll be saying something, and I'll lose my boice halfway through
Why do you think that you do things mentally wrong?
That's more of a self-confidence issue, not sure why I do, I just do.

 

Honestly man, I know it's been said before but try not to care about what people think of you. Something you can do to get out is walk your dog(if you have one). It is a pretty good way to get active, and if you don't want to do that maybe you could just do situps or pushups everytime a commercial comes on while watching tv, or what I do is pushups and situps before I go to bed everynight. All you need is progress, after doing these you will see results, which will help your self confidence. As for the talking, maybe get a speech coach or something of that nature. I know that I mess up ALL the time when I talk, and I just laugh it off and try to work on it. You just have to be happy in your own skin, if you're in school make some friends in class, or even get a job. I made a lot of great friends from my job, and maybe you could too. Good luck man and hope things look up for you.