Caught

I'm feeling like committing suicide. My uncle caught me having sex and he lives with me. I'm 15 and he said he would keep it with me and him. I feel terrible. I'm religious and now it's getting into my head. I know I made a mistake and I just want to kill myself. It's the one time I don't care about religion.


What do I do?

 

No, suicide is not the way. Like people have said here before, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

If this is seriously bothering you then speak to your uncle, or someone who you can trust and you think will give you good advice. I understand that your religion really means a lot to you but suicide is not the answer here.

Everyone in life makes mistakes, they are there for a reason, so that we can learn from them and move on and not make those same mistakes again.

Your life means so much more than this silly mistake you have made in life.

If you need to speak to someone please PM me and I'll add you on msn and we can talk for a while if you want advice or just someone to speak to.

 

Nah dude, I'll PM you tommorrow if I have to. I'm going to sleep right now. I've made so many damn mistakes in my life. I'm fucking failing at life. Why does suicide feel like such a good idea. It's getting to my head.

 

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.
Start by considering this statement:

Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.


Don't accept it if someone tells you, "That's not enough to be suicidal about." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.


Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1
You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

2
Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

3
People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4
Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what's going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:

Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TTY:1-800-799-4TTY)
(In Australia, call Lifeline Australia at telephone: 13 11 14
Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999
Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
Call a psychotherapist
Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.

5
Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.



Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.


Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for one of them.

The information is a copy and paste from: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

 

iam not being a troll but at that age you ovrthink and specify sex and masterbation, i rember thinking i was going to hell for masterbating and i blamed the thunder cats because that was when my fap sessions occured.

its no big deal. and how well is your relationship with your uncle? do you trust him? keep us updated.

 

Don't commit suicide, it's the biggest and last mistake you'll ever make in your life. DON'T DO IT! Most religions have suicide considered as a sin since your killing a living thing. Don't do it, I'm pretty sure your uncle will keep it between you an him, try talking to him about it and telling him that you want nobody to know.

 

First things first, thanks everyone who posted. My uncle said he was going to keep with between me and him. Now my mom comes to me and says, " I know when something bad is happening. There was no fucking way she knew what happened. He told her because she wasn't home at the time. I know their not going to tell my dad because he was formerly in the army and he'll get super pissed and probably kick my uncle out as well. Damn I'm in some bad shit.

 

Dude don't worry Okay? Sex is a normal thing to do. Its not like You murdered someone. Sex is good.

 

I would speak to your chaplain/priest, suicide is never the anwser. If you would like to talk feel free to add me on msn.

 

Things get better, trust me. You'll have this problem for about a month, and soon after things will die down.
Don't commit suicide. I gaurentee your parents would much rather have you even after what you did. Trust me, it may seem bad, but your parents will forgive you. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a week, but remember that your parents will forgive you.

By the way your mother has responded to it, it sounds like she is taking things better than you have thought. If you really feel bad, explain to your uncle and maybe have him talk to your mom.

If you need someone to talk to, please PM me. I'll talk to you. Remember, things will get better. Trust me.

 

What religion do you adhere to?

 

Do not suicide. That's the VERY VERY VERY VERY last thing you want to do. Have a talk with someone that is really close to you or talk to your uncle about it. I'm religious too and I've made a lot of mistake. We can't deny that, we are human beings. So stay calm down, and have a talk first. Do not take things for granted.

 

Consider this, without sex, you would not exist. It can't be that evil then, can it?

It's not the act, but the approach a lot of people take to it, that can be wrong. Make sure you pick the right girl, and always use protection. Beyond that, if it goes against your beliefs, don't worry. Everyone has beliefs, but no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. It certainly is nothing to take your own life over man, that's the only mistake you can't ever recover from.

 

Who cares, it's biology. Disregard religion and be human.

And your uncle should be proud to be honest.

 

There is nothing wrong with underage sex, it's perfectly natural.
Now religions are hard on this because they tend to be extremely strict.
Don't let a religion tell you what not to do, if it feels right.

Do what you love, do what you think is right.
As long as it's not harming yourself or someone else.

Committing suicide over something natural like that is just silly.
You should be proud that you did what you felt you wanted to do, not feel ashamed because a religion says it's bad.
I hope you come to realize there is no reason to be upset over this.

Good luck .

 

I don't understand, you're 15 and had sex, nice work bro. Don't kill yourself, lol.

 

Yeah, it's an accomplishment, good job man.

 

For us it maybe is nice work, a accomplishment, but for him not.
It's against hes religion, and its stuck in his head.

Dont suicide, it's not a way to get rid of problems, and comitting suicide is not tolerated in any religion, right?
I don't know what religion, but you should get professional help with this, and also tell you're uncle about you're problems.

 

Which religion are you

 

Man theres always going to be rough spots in life but just keep moving forward when i got caught doing donuts [2 days after getting my licenses] in our schools rivals football field i was in a mess of trouble [community service etc. i had to flipping maintain the football field for a year!] but i just accepted the consequence and like i said above just keep moving forward. Anyways if your uncle says he'll keep it between you and him just trust him and try not to get caught the next time or just don't have sex till your married just a suggestion.
-Suicide is a Long term solution to a short term problem-