Raccoons in my Garage

So I live in a suburban area, small neighborhood and such just south of Chicago.

ANYWAY,

There's like 3 or 4 raccoons that tore the shit out of the roofing and siding on the back side of my garage and decided to live in the attic. They piss and shit up there and the garage smells like a fucking farm on the inside. They kill rabbits and birds and take them up into the attic to feast upon. I know this because the entire garage floor is littered with insulation and dead rabbit parts. There may also be a possum.

The originally lived in the South side of the attic, but after they pissed and shat in that spot so much, a good 6 foot square chunk of the ceiling (drywall) collapsed into the garage from moisture and mold damage. Now they live in the North side and I'm seeing the ceiling start to sag.

Old Ceiling spot


New Ceiling spot



I'll take pictures of the back side of the garage in the morning, provided I can even get back there.

One time, I went in the garage at about 2:30 pm and through a crack in the ceiling, I could see the raccoons leg just dangling there like he was just up there relaxing. I have had a few encounters with these animals at night as well and have caught them getting into the garbage cans and walking around on the patio. I've shined flashlights on them and walked up to about 6 feet away from them and they just stand there like they aren't even afraid of me.

The possum is about the size of a dog (about 2-3 feet long without a tail) and the coons aren't far behind. One of the raccoons is a pregnant mother that I believe is about to have her babies and become even more ferocious than it is now.


So what do I do?

 

Get an exterminator tell him to catch and free them into the wild, without harming them best option tbh.

 

Not paying for that shit.

 

Step 1: Go to Home Depot
Step 2: Get a lot of poison
Step 3: Get a dead rabbit/mouse/anything, and spray it with poison
Step 4: Throw it into the attic
Step 5: Dead racoons and possum.

 

call pest control?

 

Then they die up there and stink up the garage even more..

And I'm not fucking paying for anyone to get them out. I'd rather do it myself. With a fucking gun to be honest, but I don't have one.

 

We had the same problem (except they were going after the cat food). If you have one/can find one, squirrel trap will catch them. (Here's a small one, probably need something larger: http://www.diypesticides.com/catalo...words=trap+or+paste&x=0&y=0&categories_id=28).

 

Where the hell would I get one of those?

And can I just use the ones that clamp their leg? I have like 2 of those. What do I use as bait? catfood?

 

Sure, why not? You'd have to shoot it or otherwise kill it afterwards though, as it would probably break the leg. And yeah, cat food should work as bait.

 

I want to fucking kill them anyway so it would actually be my pleasure.

Did you see all the white piss and shit stains on the ceiling? fucking smells like a god damn barn in there.

 

Yeah, I'd just trap it then. There might be local regulations about that sort of thing in your area, so I would set the trap in your garage if possible and be inconspicuous. But if you already have the trap, its basically free.

 

Set up a trap, and get the springs really tight so that fucker stays there. Worse case scenario it could probably chew its foot off like the movie Saw and be even more pissed.
Or... you can grab a good baseball bat, and go bashing.

 

I have this chair leg that I stabbed into a tennis ball, hammered nails through the tennis ball, and wrapped the whole thing in electrical tape. I frequently take that outside with me incase I encounter the possum again.

 

Nice.
this farmer my friend lived near actually paid us to "get rid of" the raccoons messing shit up on his farm. He gave us baseball bats with nails pounded through them lol

 

After they're dead, just go get them. Derp.

 

Just go in there with a baseball bat.