Everybody's shallow.

Let me start this thread by saying that I am overweight, I currently weight about 210 pounds. I was over 230 pounds about 4 months ago or so but I have been losing weight since then. My goal is to get to about 170 pounds, but that is not really the topic of this thread.

It's a fact that pretty much everything revolves around people's looks. If you want to get into a relationship and you are not attractive, your chances are decreased enormously. It is ALWAYS about the looks, it doesn't matter if you have a great personality or any of that crap unless you're real lucky and find a girl/boy who is not shallow, which is very rare. All of my friends are shallow in some level. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with an ugly or a fat person, which I perfectly understand: I don't find many girls attractive either and I call them ugly or fat, so I myself am shallow too.

If you are fat or in some way not "normal" looking, it's not that easy to build friendships compared to if you're good looking. Now you might be already thinking in your head that that's a bunch of bullshit, but it's not really. All the good-looking people have more friends. I would like to have more friends but sometimes it's just not possible for some reason, there's a barrier between me and other people because I am fat.

I hate to hear my friends tell me how they go out to drink and make out with people at a bar and such. I want to do that kind of stuff too, but it's just not possible. Even if I lost some weight, I am pretty sure I would still be considered ugly, since my face won't really get any better. Now you're probably thinking I'm just over-exaggerating but nah, I've been told by some people I am not attractive.

I am not really seeking any help, since there is no cure to this "issue". I just want to vent my fustration since if I tell my friends, all they will say is it's not about the looks, when it is.

 

Vent away honestly. EVERYONE is shallow on some level no matter what. Heck, I am to a degree, I am ashamed of it. You noted that no one wants to be in a relationship with an ugly person, I do agree with that. On that note, however, ugly and hot are completely subjective. Someone you think is ugly could be beautiful to me.

I do wish our society was not so built up on locks and having that super skinny model body. This really is causing so many problems with young couples these days that builds up high mental problems later one.

As Lady Gaga said, you were born this way ;-). Also to comment on the weight loss. Way back in high school(2008) I was around 330 pounds. I put my heart and determination to the limit to lose weight. Now here we are currently with my weight at 190 pounds. This little part really meant nothing, but if you want to lose weight, do not give up.

 

I don't agree with you, at my school, hey ugly guys get hot/cute girls. They all usually have something in common. They are athletic and do a sport, playing a sport can get you well known, and people would want to get to know you more. If you're a funny guy and not a total douche, that's great. If you're a total bummer, hey no one wants to be around you. Get to know more people, eventually you'll find a girl that likes you. And yeah some people are shallow, but look, do you want a girl who doesn't take a shower or doesn't take care of her body? Well people are shallow to the point where it's needed to be. Sorry if this didn't help you, just my point of view.

 

That's what my best friend tells me, too bad it's not true. I don't know what imaginary school you go to, but I've almost NEVER seen any "ugly" guy go out with an attractive girl. It is very rare.

I admit know a lot of people and I am friends with some but it's hard to get to know some people more closely. And you're right, I wouldn't probably want a girl who is not attractive. That's the problem, this whole society is so shallow, including me. And it fucking pisses me off.

 

A guy once told me, "you if you want something very badly, you will get it. If you didn't get what you wanted, that means you didn't want it that badly."

 

I've wanted to be like other "normal" people since I was 8. I'm yet to get there and probably never will even though I want it more than anything in the world. MORE THAN ANYTHING. My childhood was already ruined so I don't want my youth to be completely been thrown into the bin. So don't come saying "you just gotta believe man!!!!!!!" when shit like that doesn't work. It just doesn't work, period.

 

You actually think there is a such thing as a "Normal" person? Dude, everyone is different. What have you you tried doing to become a "normal" person? My life is rough too, my dad left me and my mom is the only one to take care of me. I haven't seen my dad since I was 6 years old. But I still think I have a future for myself.

 

It's society that sets the standards for "normal", and sadly almost everybody has sucked those standards into their brains. I have lots of reasons why I want to be like everybody else. I want to be "normal" because I have been fucking bullied for my whole life for NOT being "normal". I just want to look like everybody else, so people wouldn't use my looks against me like they use now.

 

haha its funny because your just too ignorant to realize its not true.



OT: really its not about "shallowness" or not. Its simply nature. It is natural to like someone who is aesthetically appealing over someone who is not. It is natural to be more attracted to a female with bigger boobs over someone who is flat chested because instinctually the bigger boobed female will be more likely to be a better caregiver for a child should you choose to procreate.

also...being ugly or whatever might make it hard to do certain things, but it doesnt mean those certain things are always easy for good looking people.

I am pretty fit and sexy but struggle with all the problems u deal with and maybe more because of my own unique problems that are not being fat and ugly.

 

You can lose weight so if you wanted to really badly it is possible. And don't say that you can't because anyone can lose weight, its just a matter of doing something about it.

OT: Yeah, I agree that being in a relationship is about looks but that is perfectly fine, i'm not going to date someone I can't bare to look at and its my choice so why should I?
Anyone can turn there selfs around and look good, trust me i've seen it happen of people at my school. Just try a different style, i used to be a really ugly person imo but i changed around everything and now I like the way I look, and don't be bummed because someone WILL find you attractive.

 

I'll just say every single good friend to whom I've revealed the identity of my crush says that she's ugly

 

You're wrong. Of course AT FIRST people will be interested in better looking people, that's just how nature works. People tend to view other people as either good or bad, which means attractive people are seen as more interesting/intelligent/resourceful than less attractive people, even if their personalities are the same.

However, you can improve your appearance by losing weight and putting on some muscle, it makes everyone look better. And then you can improve your conversational skills, your speech, your humour, confidence etc. so even if you aren't the most aesthetic specimen of Homo Sapien to ever roam the earth, people will like you regardless. If you have good social skills, you WILL get more friends.

Honestly, there's no excuse to be ugly unless you have a genetic defect or you were mauled by a chimp. Anyone can do it, it just requires effort.

 

This thread is not about losing weight, I don't need help in that nor have I said that I am having a hard time doing so. It's more about my physical appearence than my clothing or style, people often say my clothes look cool since I wear clothes that other people don't really wear.

Obviously you shouldn't care about that since if you find her attractive, it's all that matters really.

Effort is the key word, yes. But I'm afraid sometimes effort isn't enough to change your appearance so it looks good in other people's eyes.

I never meant that it would be easy for you, but it's just easier compared to people who don't have good looks as their advantage.

 

Sam.. I feel your pain. I'm being honest bro I was just like this. I weighted 104KG and went to 63 in 4 months. This was when I was 15. Now I'm 18 and I weight 80KG (bodybuilding) If you need any free tips on how to lose quick weight, pm me man. I will do anything to help you. I'm being serious.

I changed from nothing to everything, I never thought that I will be so good looking as the day that I am now.

 

I don't believe that, I think if you can spit game no matter how big you are you can get the finest girls. It's about how you present your self and what you have to offer. Take famous fat people, they have things to offer that is why they get what they want.

 

I know your struggle to some degree. It really does suck but it's unfortunately true, I've been both a victim and guilty of shallowness. The one thing you can use to overcome it is confidence. I know you can't exactly just "spawn" confidence out of nowhere, so try to find some things you can do to your appearance that might take focus off of your weight. I used to constantly get insulted on how my eyebrows are bushy and a different colour than the hair on my head. Since shaving my head and growing out some sideburns I feel that my eyebrows actually compliment my look pretty well. That sparked some confidence, which somewhat helped me handle myself a little better in social experiences, and the confidence just kept on coming, not to mention the rewards that came from it. I know fat is a little harder to take care of than that, but you get the idea. When you're confident in yourself people will pay a lot more attention to your personality than your appearance. Try to do something to your appearance that YOU like, don't worry about how you look in others eyes, when you're comfortable in your own skin, others will be too.

 

uhhh NO. if your like an old geezer with like billions, then you can get like whoever you want. but u an also afford like cosmetic surgery like the lady who owns l'oreal paris. like 90 yrs old but looks 50

 

If you are looking for one night stands at bars then your walking into a pit full of shallow people. If you want a real relationship where people do care about your feelings and not just looks go to other places such as concerts/starbucks/anywhere but bars/clubs.

 

Actually, when you lean out your face could improve ten fold. I have seen it many times.

And you can't really call people "shallow" for wanting to date others that they find attractive, after all you want to do the same. It's human nature to want to find the person with the best genetics to mate with.

Honestly if you want to feel better about yourself then you are already on the right track, keep dieting. Exercise is also a great way to feel good about yourself and boost your confidence. Gl

 

I am one of the people who, sadly DO judge people by there looks ONLY when looking for a relationship. But if I end up finding out I like them because of similar intrests and a good personality I say screw it, but when looking for one I judge it by first looks