Anti depressents

Hello sythe im a long time lurker and i really need some personal help that no one that knows me in the real world knows about.

Ever since grade 7/8 i had a real problems socializing with people i don't really know. Only people i socialize with are my close friends (very hard at time) and family. From grade 8-11 all i did was play runescape. Now im unemployed (not a problem atm) and a dropout (looking at classes in the fall). Right now im 18 turning 19 in the summer.

Now my problem is i CANNOT have a decent convo with any person i don't know. I mean i can talk for myself most the times but my personality doesn't seem like how it use to be when i was a kid. When i was a kid i had ALOT of friends and was really outgoing. Anyways back to me not talking.. i thought if i did found some activities out of my house it would just go away sooner or later and the awkwardness would go away, but it didn't. So thinking it would help i got a job and kept it for a good 2 months... when i worked there i never talked at all and it was hard to have a convo with some of the people their... while i worked there i felt alienated, don't get me wrong the people there were cool and nice and weren't assholes towards me or anything but i just can't have a convo with them. Also when im put on the spot and im asked something i usually (almost always) slur up my words in a sentence and sound like a retard especially if i have to repeat myself again and keep messing up lol

Me dropping out of school had to do with me being such a nerd. I mean teachers pressured me to do improv/acting infront of the class and do presentations i wasn't comfortable doing because basically alot of the people at my old school knew about my problem and knew i didn't talk and to show even a little of my personality would be awkward for me.

Well that is all i guess and i forgot to mention that im insecure and feel like shit knowing i have to hide behind an Anonymous thread. Anyways thats for reading and if you can please answer these questions i need answered in order for me to move on with my life.

Q1: Where can i find a doctor to prescribe me medicine i need? Do i go to the minor emergency? or a hospital?

Q2: Will the drugs have any side effects that will mess up my future sex life? (i know il be having sex sooner or later :laugh

Q3: is there a way i can not let anyone else know besides me that im taking the drugs? not sure if im ready to tell anyone that i need to rely on drugs to be normal (makes me look like im crazy and being insecure doesn't help)

BIGGEST QUESTION

Will i have to rely on these drugs for the rest of my life?

I mean that thought just scares me and this reason alone is gonna make me think twice about this situation. I don't want to build up a tolerance to these drugs to where i'm a legit crazy person.

thanks again for the read and hope i get some helpful replies back

 

It sounds like you need to interact with people more. The reason why you feel uncomfortable holding a conversation is because you're not used to it. It may feel awkward at first, but try starting conversations with people. I don't think you need medications or drugs. But to answer your questions...

1. At a local walk-in clinic.
2. It depends on the drugs you are given (if any). Every drug has side-effects.
3. If you are underage, and depending on where you live, your parents may need to be involved. Your school may also need to know what medications you are on.
4. If you take the drugs for long enough, your body will become dependent on them. Drugs don't solve things, and they will certainly not solve your alienation problem - only you can solve that.

 

Q1: Where can i find a doctor to prescribe me medicine i need? Do i go to the minor emergency? or a hospital?
You'll need to see a psychiatrist. Counselors often recommend them but since you're not in school seems you'll have to find one on your own.

Q2: Will the drugs have any side effects that will mess up my future sex life? (i know il be having sex sooner or later :laugh
If anything they'll help you hook up with a girl. They also often times lead to having more energy in general. How that carries over for you is your business.

Q3: is there a way i can not let anyone else know besides me that im taking the drugs? not sure if im ready to tell anyone that i need to rely on drugs to be normal (makes me look like im crazy and being insecure doesn't help)

They are hardly noticeable if you live on your own. you may need a parent to go with you even if you're over 18 as you need to be monitored in case you turn out suicidal (not implying anything its just a legality)

BIGGEST QUESTION

Will i have to rely on these drugs for the rest of my life?
No. Once you feel what its like to be happy you'll be able to manage it on your own. Depression is also closely related to hormonal imbalances which can fix themselves with time.

 

Can't answer most them but I was this type of situation with depression meds. I only took them for I'd say 3 months no one knew expect my parents and my recently ex gf. but as stated above the medicine helps you feel happy or sociable and in time the dr will most defiantly lessen you dosage and in time completely remove you from them. it's a rough road but you can make it.