Something That Continues to Bother me...

Hey guys. Over the past couple years I've become real close to an adopted cousin of mine... Before I get started with this whole scenario I want to make it clear that when I say "adopted cousin", I mean that we are not blood related cousins. My blood related cousin is really close friends to my adopted cousins family since I was like 7 years old and ever since then their family sort of just mixed in with our family. Alright now here is what is bothering me.

For the past year or so, my adopted cousin and I have texted each other nearly every day and tell each other about literally everything (personal stuff, everyday stuff, sex life, all those kind of things...). The stuff we tell each other is always kept to ourselves and everything we tell each other NEVER gets found out by the whole family.

Recently, I had a dream that I hooked up with my adopted cousin and it really bothered me. If I was having dreams like this I obviously am having some feelings for her in real life. The problem is idk if I should tell her this. I'm scared this will ruin our relationship and I have no idea how she would respond after I tell her the story.

So this is where I need your help. Do I go and tell her about this dream I had? Or do I wait for a different time and day to do it? She is not in a relationship at the moment and thought: "would it be strange if she had no problem with it and we hooked up legitimately?" I was just interested in your thoughts guys. I'm sort of scared to tell her at the same time because I'm hanging out with her for a few days during memorial day weekend.

All your help is appreciated!

P.S: I'm 17 years old, and she is 20.

 

I don't think it is worth it to tell her. Honestly, best case scenario you guys date or whatever, but your both young. The chances of her being the one are slim and I am sure you will be through a few different relationships before you find someone. On the other hand, the worst case scenario could be devastating. If you are happy with the friendship you have with her, than don't put it at risk.

Also, just to say, things have a way of working out if they are meant to be, maybe sometime down the road you will know for sure if it is worth the risk and if you feel it is then go for it. But as of now I would suggest not overthinking a dream.

 

Hhmmmm, is it just you that sees her as a cousin, or does she see you as a cousin as well?

 

We refer to each other as cousins because we see each other on almost every holiday, but like I said we are NOT blood related cousins so I don't want anyone thinking this is incest or something retarded. I'm just asking if I should tell her about this in hopes of maybe just hooking up with her. I'm not looking for a real big relationship with her.

 

If all you want to do is hook up with her, than I think that is stupid to take the risk just for that.

 

Well, maybe more than just hook up with her. I'm not looking for any long term relationships and neither is she based on our conversations I've had with her about her ex's. I don't think it would be healthy for us either to be in a long term sort of thing anyway with the risk of the family eventually finding out and viewing us differently.

 

If you don't see it as a possibility of being long term, than why would it be worth the risk? There are plenty of other girls you could "have fun" with without all the possible baggage of dating someone who is related even if not by blood.

 

I'd say don't do anything, she sounds fun as she is and you don't want to ruin that.

But.. If you want, you can try the "it wasn't me text messages". Text her saying what you want to say, if she replies badly then send her another inappropriate text message. Then use someone elses phone to text her and say a friend of yours has your phone and he is texting random people.

 

Don't touch her. I am 99% sure you will not marry her, and I am 99% sure that your guys' relationship will never be the same afterwards. It's nearly, but not quite, equivalent to hooking up with your sister. There's something that's just wrong there. Even if at the time both of you like it, it's just not part of the traditional culture to hook up with close friends/family like that. That's the way I see it at least.

 

dont tell her how you feel.
show her how you feel.

 

That would be even more strange if I just started to go in for a kiss and show her how I felt. I'd rather tell her than just randomly somewhat rape her in the way your recommending it..

 

Keep it to yourself, don't let your hormones get in the way of having mature relationships. If you can't think with the big head now with your adopted cousin how are you going to have normal guy-girl relationships in the future. You are 17 so your still young, relax there's plenty of fish in the sea.

 

Bro.. Your 17, your letting your raging hormones decide for you, she is 20 prob has a nice rack an coz you live together you may even get To see her in her undies.. Personally I wouldn't tell her, but there was this kid at my school who fucked his non-related step sister and he was teased to death about it, even now when we see him around the area we give him shit.

Then again some cultures allow marriage of 2nd cousins, quite sure in places like Iran an Iraq it's common procedure.

Completly up to you man, on the upside atleast you wouldn't have to introduce her to your family. And I wouldn't recommend introducing her ever again as your non-related by blood cousin man.. Just make up a less "family" orientated Name .

Edit: pics would give us a gauge on if it's worth the drama

 

Nothing is going to happen bro, sorry I just don't see anything happening.... Not worth ruining the bond you guys have.

 

You shouldn't feel bad, I experienced something almost exactly like this about a year ago. Just because you have dreams like that, doesn't necessarily mean you actually want to get with her in real life, especially since you're aware of the complications it could cause. Those dreams could merely be a sign of the bond you two already share, not necessarily a sign that you want to be in a relationship with her. Dreams are often symbolic, rather than literal manifestations of your feelings.
You should consider the fact that, not only could it ruin the bond you already have with her, but it could also cause problems within your family. Think about how your parents and everyone in your family would feel about this.
My advice is that you continue to keep the bond you already have with her, because it seems like you guys are very close as it is. In my opinion it isn't worth the risk of causing problems within the family, especially since you don't know that she feels the same way you do about her. Telling her about it could make things awkward between you two.
The experience I had resolved by focusing my attention on another girl. The thing that kept me from pursuing the feelings I had was thinking about how it'd affect the rest of my family.

 

Don't tell her about the dream.

Hit that shit son.

 

Not at all true

Dreams don't mean shit most of the time. I've dreamed about having sex with all kinds of people I am not attracted to in real life, dw bout it.

You either have feelings for her or you don't.

If you do then the choice is yours whether or not you want to pursue it. Going to be a case of weighing the pros and cons, like most life decisions

 

Negative, ghost rider, i'm all for pounding pussy but there's a line you gotta draw some time. Just tell her about the dream and if all signs are green tell her how you really feel, if not just don't engage and let her know you have feelings for you because that can also ruin a relationship.

 

I personally would not tell her. You never know how she might respond and I wouldn't risk the relationship

 

Sorry if my previous post is kinda worded oddly

To sum up what I meant about your dreams is, that dreams are often more symbolic, rather than literal representations of your feelings.