Long Distance Relationships.

Do they work?

Here's the deal -

I have known this girl for 2 years and it's been hard..

At one point we didn't talk but that's after we kinda, explained how we felt.

We dated other people, yaddah yaddah.

We met 2 years ago, where I live and spent about.. 3 weeks together.

Up until about 4 months ago we were kinda just text friends, but I asked her,
do you still "love me" and she said she never really stopped after the 2 years.



She lives in Arizona, and I live in Hawaii, she is here in Hawaii until Thursday,
we have spent every day together the whole week.

The past 4 months we decided to try dating.. it's been hard, but I can
Honestly say I care a lot about her, love her. And I know she feels the same.


Don't think so? She gave up a very important Choir Play, Chess State Championship, and Disney Land, to come see me for a week..

I am turning 17 in 8 days, she just recently turned 15, I know she and I are young.
But It can be true, I don't know, to me it's pretty high to last 2 years like this..



Anyway, do you guys think it can work?

(Side note - When I hit 18, she will be 16 a few weeks before, and I already have the money to go visit in a few months and then after my 18th bday.)

That is summed up, there is more, wanna know more? PM Me.

 

It can only work if the both of you try to make it work.

Seeing from your situation, I could see it working out.
You have to remember though when most people are young they don't really want to be with one person for a long time.
If this is one of your first "serious" relationships I could see why the both of you are trying so hard to make it happen.
As I said before YES it can work out if both of you commit to the relationship.
Good luck

 

I've spent most my life on the other side of the world away from Loved Ones.. In my opinion, the further away, the better it seems to work.

 

I'm not so sure about that Spyike, it only works better if it's not going to work in person.. Which isn't really a good thing if it won't work in person.

Anyway, I say try move somewhere nearer to here if you get the chance, if you don't get the chance, then do anything to get the chance if you think she's gonna last and it'll be worth it ^__^ talk to her about it, and be careful to make sure of her reaction, as she may have a few things going on where she is that she's refraining to tell you about (don't let yourself be blind, realise you're always running that risk with long distance)

 

It can most definitely work. A lot of people have the wrong idea about long-distance relationships.The trick to getting it to work is both of you have to be 100% committed. That, and there has to be 100% trust in both of you.

It's going to sound stupid, but I met this boy on a game when I was 14 years old, and we started talking. He was 19 years old, fixing to turn 20. We talked for two years or so on the game and did everything together. By the time I was 16, I was "dating" him. That went on for a few months and then he came up here to visit me. ( I was in Massachusetts, him in Tennessee ) We visited back and forth for years until when I was 19, I moved down there to live with him. Now we're engaged and going to school together.

The point is, we went 5 years of just talking over the phone/net/webcam what-have you and we still made it out. My advice is to do everything you can do with her. Stay on the phone with her, watch tv with her, watch movies with her, play games with her, make it like you're there with her. I don't know if what I'm saying is coming off a little odd, but it works. Both of you can download a movie, then call eachother, sync the movie, and lay down and watch it together.

I feel like I rambled there for a second. Long story short, yes, it can work. It can absolutely work and it can turn into something amazing. If you need to talk to anybody, feel free to pm/IM me.

 

It's hard, and after 2.5 years I ended up breaking up with my high school sweetheart since things weren't working out as planned.

If you stick to it, and you both are dedicated enough, than it should work out.

 

=) Thanks ya'll, I see what you are all saying, it's a matter of mostly 2 things.

1.) Trust
2.) Dedication

So far, it's going good, got to see her for a week and well, I see this going great.
We just have to stick to and what-not.

=)

 

I'm going to be honest with you, or else I'd be doing you a disservice.

1 - From what you've said I truly believe that you two do care for each other. However, keep in mind that due to being young, both of you are blinded by this love. Feelings can change in a few years (and even in a few months). I respect that you guys are trying to make it work even though you don't live close to each other. This shows character and dedicated. I just hope you understand that you shouldn't put your entire heart and soul into this, because if it ends then you'll be extremely depressed.

2 - There is a very tiny percentage of people who end up living the rest of their lives with their high school sweet hearts. Not to discourage you, but the percentages are against you. By all means, I'd love for you to succeed with this girl, but I was just telling you that statistics are against you.

3 - Good luck, I wish you the best!

 

Your story sounds nice and cute. I love to be able to say that it will work but you are both at the age where you will be hitting the party scene and meeting new people. To be honest I think you are both better off parting ways or being in an open relationship where you can do things with other people. I don't think the risk of waiting for her is worth missing out on the best years of your life.

If you were 42 and she was 40 then I would highly recommend it as you don't have a lot to lose but at both your ages I think being friends with the possibility of getting back together in the future is the best thing to do for both of you.

 

The thing with parties in general for the both of us like, wtf is that. She knows she shouldn't after what happened a while back and well.. I just stray from parties since I am actually a very shy person.

Now people wise, our current situation, is tough, I live where nobody wants to date/like a scrawny white short guy... for her, she is teased and everything cause of being white since she lives, basically literally on the Mexico border of Arizona. >.<

I know what you guys mean, it can be bad, it can end bad, the odds are definitely against us..

I asked her, I am up for what SHE wants, and she told me she wants to actually try, so I am gunna do this.

(Keep into mind, I take in what everyone is saying..)

 

Honestly, after being in a relationship for 3.5 years, 13 till 16 I can tell you one thing..

A girl is never as special as she seems at the moment. There will be more girls in your life. FACT.

 

It could work, or it couldn't. That's really up to you two. Like others have said, don't dedicated ALL of your heart and energy to this though, as young love usually does NOT last.

I dated the same girl from 9th grade to the end of my 12th grade year, almost all of this time was spent as a long distance relationship. I was devastated when it ended. I put far too much energy and heart into something that I shouldn't have.

 

This is as true as it gets, this was part of my point in my previous point but i didnt state it this clearly.

 

Yeah I see what you are all saying.

Well as much as I hate knowing it can end bad, I am gunna go for it, but I am not gunna let other girls get pushed out of my life, and if I see something going downhill I will act on it. Rather, I won't let it fail, and I still will keep my eyes open for new possibilities.

I can look

Sides, I am young, if something goes wrong between us, then..it's not meant to be.

 

Good luck, Glyder. I really hope you two work out. Even with odds stacked against you, amazing things can happen.

 

Best advice on the thread. Realistically, it won't work out. On a more positive note, you are at the age when it won't matter and you will bounce back from it quick enough.

 

Not entirely true, sorry don't just, point blank say it... it can be rude.

Nobody actually knows what can happen. EVERYONE could have just said "I doubt it will work, but good luck" and leave on a negative side.

That being said, I could hop back on in few months and post and update, and hey it could still be great. Then another few months, etc.

Point is, don't assume, or say it point blank. Sorry, cause I know I may sound like a whiner for this saying you're all wrong, but honestly, I am saying, we don't know. I just wanted support.

 

only for those extremely committed.
i did this with a girl i had known for 4 years since h.s.
she confessed she loved me, and fully supported that i was joining the military.
i was gone (though writing and calling when i could and visited when possible)
and comes to find out the hoe was cheating.
the truth is, girls need the D too and if your not there to give it to em they will find it elsewhere

 

It can be hard but if you love and trust each other it will work!

 

Personally, i could never do it. Most of my relationships/seeing the other person lasts a a few months, at most. I just cant handle being buckeled down while still in my teens, just seems ofputting.

I mean, i am a VERY social person. I go clubbing/parties very often, and most of the people i go out with are girls. This just makes it harder to have one person in my life.

Frankly and honestly, as a guy - i aim to hookup with as many 'hot' women, as i can; on a night out. Might sound vein and vulgar, but that is my perspective on things.

Maybe when im 22+, i will become more one person orientated.