What gets wetter as it dries?

A towel.

 

your mom

 

lold.

 

Ways to Torture the Pizza Guy (part 1)

-Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
-After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button does." Simulate a cutoff.
-Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
-Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
-Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
-Ask if you they can put food coloring in the cheese.
-Ask to see a menu.
-Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
-Be vague in your order.
-Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
-Change your accent every three seconds.
-If (s)he says the word “pizza”, say, "Please don't mention that word."
-Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"
-Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up