Long Lost Relatives.

Hi, i have been trying to trace down my father for year's now, i have never seen a photo of him and always find myself wondering if i look like him or act like him in way's, It has been something i have always wanted to know just never had the courage to take any action.

I spoke to my mother about him but she does not know much info on him apart from his Full name, she tends not to say much as he has been involved in drugs and violence and is scared i will get hurt, she also added when she told him that she was pregnant he said ''Good i can hide my drug's in the baby's nappy's.

Recently i paid a company to trace his name on their systems, they E-mailed me a list with many names, i sat down and wrote a letter explaining my situation and sent them all of tonight.

My girlfriend has just been re-united with her step brother, which made me question my father and want to go through with this, if i do get a reply and one of them turns out to be my dad i have no idea what i am going to do or say.

I would be willing to meet up with him but i don't want to cause him any trouble in-case he has a new family, If anybody has been in this situation before and can offer me some support or advise i would be most grateful.
Thanks. :noworry:

 

I haven't been in that situation before, but I can tell you one thing - people change. He could have been into a bunch of bullshit when your mother was pregnant with you, but who's to say he hasn't changed?

As far as causing him any trouble if he has a new family, I don't think there's anything wrong with seeing him. Meet somewhere together, arrange to meet at a coffee shop, etc. I feel that you have the right to know, but don't be disappointed if your father is hesitant about it. It'll be just as big of a deal to him as it is to you.

All I can tell you is to be careful, and goodluck.

 

True, people never change, but it'll still be nice to meet him anyways.

 

I'll be honest with you, I wouldn't want to meet him. Maybe a talk on the phone, or a webcam, but meeting him might be too much.

From what you said, it sounds like he walked out on you and your mother (I apologize if this isn't the case).

Somebody who will leave his wife/girlfriend and his kid has problems. You could just be asking for trouble by trying to become acquaintances again.

Feel free to hit me up on MSN if you'd like to discuss it!