So, my girlfriend can't orgasm...Need some insight.

So, I recently began dating a long time friend. We've had sex quite a few times since then. She enjoys it, I enjoy it. However, she can't climax. I can't make her orgasm, she can't make herself orgasm. She has not had an orgasm in over a year, even on her own. She feels like she's right on the verge, literally right about to do so, but it never comes. It will just stay at that level or slowly abate back to normal arousal.

She has been very depressed and stressed since her senior year, which was over two years ago. She's not on any anti-depressants or anything. Could her depression and stress be affecting this? I'm at a loss for a way to help her.

I feel inadequate, but I know that can't be so if she can't even give herself one when she knows how to and has plenty of times before. I'm looking for any and all input here...Please help.

 

Stress can cause your whole body to shut down. Medication would not be the worst route to take. Do you know what is causing her to be under so much stress? If you find that out, and resolve it, then she could go back to how she was before senior year.

Can you make her laugh, and do other things, or has depression sunk in to much?

 

Well, senior year she was very stressed about graduating alone. Her grandfather also got sick, and then her aunt died. Since then she's been trying make her way through college and it has been rough. She went through a couple worthless, user boyfriends as well.

Just last week her grandfather went into the hospital, he's likely not going to make it...

She tells me she already thinks she's in love, and that I honestly make her the happiest she has ever been. I feel terrible that I can't help her out more than I am.

I don't want to offend her, but should I ask her if I could have her permission to take her and have her prescribed? I honestly think it would be the best for her.

 

I can offer you the best advice I have, try new things, foreplay tends to get a girl going, if you want more details on how to make a girl orgasm, pm me, I have a girlfriend over 2 years and let me tell you she's satisfied.

 

Okay man, I have never had this problem. But I can tell you what I do to get my girlfriend to the TOP.
You CAN NOT just go into sex, as Sunno said Foreplay is very important!
First start off kissing, then slowly move your hand down and start rubbing her vagina with your hand [Through her pants]. Do this for a few mins [While kissing her], then put you hand down her pants and start rubbing her clit. Insert your middle finger into her vagina then push it all the way in and go straight up with it. [This is called the G spot] Keep massaging the spot for a little while, ALSO keep kissing her, and if you can handle it the top of her vagina with your thumb. You will be able to tell if this worked by her body motions for example she will start rubbing on you. Then you proceed to keep this up for atleast 10-30 mins. Then you should be ready for sex man, HOPE I HELPED!

 

That's not the issue though, no matter how excited she is, it just does not happen. Even when trying new things or doing things she knows she loves. And she's been having a lot of stomach trouble recently. I have a feeling there's a medical problem...but she refuses to see a doctor.

EDIT: I think everyone has mistaken this for a how to have pleasurable sex thread... Bah.

 

This will be orgasm central.

 

she needs to see a doctor man, you know. It could be something wrong with her hormones. Encourage her to see a doctor. This will eas the stress on both of you guys.

 

it could be stress related? hell switch it to a mans side, feeling stressed and uneasy resulting to failing to sustain an erection. i know thats happened to me befor! except maybe her issues are deep seeded and result in her feeling anxious, uneasy all the time?

 

I'll just be straight with her and tell her it would really be best for her if she went to, or let me take her to, a physician then. I would really love for her to feel better in every day life. And it wouldn't hurt if she was able to have orgasms like she once was.

 

If your psychy is all iffy you can't get a stiffy

I agree with this, You should definitely have her see a doctor. I had a girlfriend wit hthe same problem once. Unfortunately we broke up before there was ever a solution so my example doesn't really help you...

 

Eat her out for a few if you don't. My lady never climax', but she certainly has orgasms.

Some women have trouble getting off because they're shy, or just because they don't have the ability to relax for that. For guys, it's easy, but we function differently. For girls, they actually have to think about it.

Stress can indeed cause anyone to not be able to enjoy themselves. I can't ejaculate if I'm stressed. Or if I'm trying to please her too much. Maybe she's trying to hard, that could be an issue as well.

If she can't do it by herself, then the issue is most certainly chemical or mental. Or maybe she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so she tells you she can't get herself off because you suck. It's a harsh truth, but it's common for women to lie to make men feel better.

 

I'm not saying I'm amazing, but I know I don't suck... >.< Again, it seems my entire topic was misinterpreted. If there was any doubt and I thought the problem could be with me, I wouldn't have posted here. I was looking for medical or mental reasons so that I could bring them up with her and convince her to allow somebody to help us. To those of you who offered those, thank you.

 

You're thinking too straight-forward with her. Women are illogical creatures, yes it sounds bad, but it's about as true as it gets.

Don't present her with a valid, reasonable argument. Unless she's a supreme nerd/geek, it won't have any affect. If she's at all lady-like, then you need to propose the idea that her not having a climax concerns you, and could lead to problems in your love life in the future.

If you give her a reason for why she's having these problems, she'll try to solve them herself, and you'll only hurt your chances of getting her to see a professional.

You also don't want to make her feel broken, or stress her out more. So your best bet is to get her to understand that there's nothing wrong with at least consulting her physician on the matter, and that it could very well help you two out etc.

E: I don't understand why you're so quick to dismiss mental problems in this situation. Have you spent every hour of every day with her in a sexual way? She could just find enjoying sex bad, or something... some rape victims have problems enjoying sex with their spouses after being raped because they feel like enjoying sex is just wrong. Also, what leads you to believe her so? Sure, she's told you she's never had an orgasm/climax... but why do you believe that? Maybe she's just not comfortable enough revealing that she finds pleasure without you? I'm trying to see how you can be so... accepting of this?

 

It might be just a phaze, my long-term girlfriend (over 7 years now) had a 2 year time when she just couldnt have any orgasms, she even went to doctor to talk about it and they just said its the female body acting that way. So might just be similar occasion with your girlfriend.

Of course if its not too embarrasing, visiting doctor might help, they can see if theres something going on.

 

As so many others have said, ask her to see a doctor.
If she doesn't want to go, then go yourself and describe the issue to the doctor and see what he suggests. This may not work however, since the doctor will want to see the patient he/she is treating, and go through an examination.
Good luck man

 

Long before all of this we were friends with benefits. And for a very long time. I know her very well sexually and non-sexually, just as she does me. I've been there for her all twenty years of my life, just as she has been for me. We've always been very open and truthful. Even before me, with her previous boyfriend, she confided in me about the same problem. I thought maybe he just wasn't giving her what she needed, even when she said that wasn't the problem. I'm honestly not here to stroke my ego. If I was or even had a chance of being the problem, I'd be working on fixing it. This isn't about me, it's about her. I want her to be happy with herself.

 

In all seriousness, a dick vibrator might help if its not emotional relating. Slips right on and only makes you and your girls sex feel so much better.

 

Hmm, well, it sounds like it's not purely physical. Which again brings me to the thought that it's a mental problem. She's needs a psychologist, and/or a sex therapist.

That... or maybe she just doesn't know what an orgasm is/when she has one. A small percentage of women can actually Climax, but almost all of them can orgasm.

 

So she was able to give herself ones before and not now? Definitely sounds like it's a problem for doctors. I'm assuming you've already tried going down on her whilst fingering the g spot and buying her toys for both her and you to use on her.